10. I am the WST, thy Friend
I’m here because you asked me to be
here. Maybe you even pushed it
hard. I could have watched this game in the comfort of my own home or at a
bar. I expect to be treated with
the same hospitality as I would give you at my place and trust me; I’m quite
the hospitable motherfucker!
9. Thou’s wife (or GF) shalt not speak of what she does not know
No
problem with your girl or wife watching the game with us at all. Every man can appreciate a woman who
tries to take interest in their man’s hobbies but if she’s the type that’s not
really into sports or doesn’t understand every aspect, all questions should be
held until a commercial where they gladly will be explained. If it’s a smart-ass comment about how
the featured team looks like shit, she should probably just keep her mouth
shut.
8. Thou shall provide
guests with consumables
If
you’re watching the game with three or more people, there must be an offering of food or drink, but not both. Provide beer and tell everyone to pitch in for some Pizza or
Popeye’s. Provide wings or a party
sub and tell people to BYOB. You're leaving yourself open for judgement if you don't.
7.Thou
shalt not invite more guests than thy’s home can manage
You should never go more than two over
capacity. If there’s only room for
five in your living room, don’t invite more than eight. Room for eight? Don’t invite more than 11. This is isn’t a large party, just a get
together.
6.
Thou shall clean thy bathroom before guests arrive.
As
men, our definition of clean will always be different from women but there is
no reason a guest should be walking to the can during halftime and
finding a seat or floor covered in piss stains because you woke up with morning
wood earlier and your aim was off.
Empty your trashcan and take 10-15 minutes to make sure the toilet is
clean scumbag.
5.
Thou shalt not let thy pet roam free.
Your
dog or cat is badass; I just don’t want them in my damn face when I’m trying to
watch. Nor do I want to them begging/pawing at my plate of food. Finally, I don’t want to stomp or trip over them when I
jump up to celebrate (or vent my anger).
Put them in their cage, your room, basement, whatever, just keep them
away until it’s over.
4.
Thou shalt not invite THAT guy.
I
know he’s your buddy from college or work but seriously, everyone else hates
him. He comes in empty handed,
steals seats, eats (or drinks) everything without throwing any coin on it, and
throws a fit every time a player on his fantasy team doesn’t get the
ball/misses the shot/strikes out.
Worst of all, he’s a dick to your other friends. Only reason he hasn't been punched yet is because it's your home.
You keep inviting him, he’ll be the only one showing up in the near future.
You keep inviting him, he’ll be the only one showing up in the near future.
3. Thou shall consult with thy neighbor
If
you live in an apartment, always knock on the door next to and below you just
to inform the neighbors that there’s going to be a lot of cursing and stomping
for the next 3-5 hours. You don’t
owe them shit, but you score major bonus points if you do. I once got a whole pan of cookies
around Christmas time from the old lady below me and I’m certain this had
something to do with it.
2.
Thou shalt not let thy KID roam free.
I’m
not an asshole but I’m being real with you because your friends won’t. No dude and I mean NO DUDE wants to
watch a game with a kid younger than 8 running around. I understand it’s your home, but do you
really think it’s cute for your spawn to annoy your guests when they’re heavily
invested in the game? Shit, HALF of
these guys came over to get away from THEIR kids, the other half don’t have any
and are not used to walking on eggshells. His/her room, your room, the kitchen, OUTSIDE. If the child can't sit and watch quietly, he's gotta go bro.
1.Thou
shall have fun.
It’s
your event so why the hell not?
Follow the other nine commandments and you’ll have a great time. I mean it’s only just a game right?
-WST
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