MONDAY
Beyoncé got everyone like this when she performs Drunk in Love pic.twitter.com/9Zbck535Jd
— Eric LeGrand (@EricLeGrand52) August 25, 2014
-If you're a little confused, Eric LeGrand was parlayed from this play in 2010 and has since regained movement of his shoulders and sensation throughout his body.
I don't even know how to react to THAT ONE. Good to see he has a sense of humor I guess?
-A little girl interrupted Stephen Strasburg's warmups because cause kids just do the darndest things don't they?
When I was a kid, always hoped I could get lost in a mall and kick it at KB-Toys for hours until mom showed up. I'm imagine she had a similar feeling of euphoria...except everything smells like sautéed onions and overpriced beer.
TUESDAY
-Are you a big-time College Football prospect? If so, come to Tennessee! We'll photoshop you with the hottest celebrities in the industry!
-Are you a big-time College Football prospect? If so, come to Tennessee! We'll photoshop you with the hottest celebrities in the industry!
Recruiting can be a strange thing. Does that really work? Isn't that something you'd get at a Knoxville-area mall kiosk?
-Everyone is complaining about this glitch in the new Madden 15. Seems the designers and engineers over at EA Sports just don't give a shit. I mean look what they did with NHL 15...
Ryan Reaves went from caramel to charcoal! Yeah they're fucking up over there. On the plus side, Donald Sterling approves this game.
WEDNESDAY
-Scenarios where reclining your seat on a plane is frowned upon:
1.The person behind you is really fat.
2. It's snack time and the person behind you still has their tray down.
3. The person behind you is 7-feet tall and plays in the NBA.
Sicers Center Hasheem Thabeet falls into category three.
This d-bag sure picked the right big man to pull this on on...
Shaq would have eaten him.
-Floyd Mayweather with the real the money gawd Warren Buffet! An explanation champ?
"I had a great meeting with the $66.9 billion dollar man, Mr. Warren Buffett. We talked about how we could turn a $100 million of my assets to $1 billion. Mr. Warren Buffett is the original founder of The Money Team, he's just one of my billionaire buddies."
Well that's nice of him! I'm sure Floyd neglected to mention Warren also dropped these off before he left...
THURSDAY
-Johnny Manziel has a new Snickers commercial because cocaine costs money and Johnny's gotta whore himself out while the hype is healthy.
He looks like the old Browns Mascot.
But fuck ALL that shit right now....
College Football starts tonight!
YOU READY!?
YOU PUMPED!?
No.
I'm underwhelmed to be honest. Know why? Because watching it as a whole sucks.
College Football is the guy/girl at a house party who's cool, but not really interesting enough to talk to for a long period. Don't get me wrong, they may get you with a nice story or two (Alabama-Auburn).
But it's all just a trap, they're actually dull as hell (Big Ten) or annoying (late-night Pac-10).
I didn't grow up in a college ball-crazy state but I've gone to enough games to know watching College Football is only fun when you're really drunk.
Unless of course, you live in SEC country....DAM GUD FUTBAWLL WE GOT DAWNN HARE!!!
Don't tell me some pimp coach masquerading as a deity should be revered. Alums of schools in power 5 conferences; don't try to tell me all those Saturdays spent subjecting yourself to three hours of horrendous QB play, suspect defense and piss-poor special teams were some of your best college memories.
You just thought so because you had been slamming Natty Lights and shots of Admiral Nelson since dawn and took a couple rips from your buddy's' bowl before kickoff!
Two bums could tussle at the 50-yard line over a chalupa and you'd still be entertained under those conditions.
The best weekends in College Football consist of the first week because it's awesome to have back and the last because you want to win a grip of cash in the office pick-em pool.
Everything else in-between is a weekly slate of trash with two marquee match ups that rarely live up to expectations. Try watching and enjoying Ohio State-Rutgers or Alabama-Arkansas sober...you'll be playing Russian-roulette with five bullets in the chambers by halftime.
However, the best part of College Football? Holy shit some of the struggle faces...
when yo $5 footlong be $8.67 pic.twitter.com/wpqMxiq4Cw
— Reid (@kevinreidm) January 7, 2014
I've seen ponzi scheme victims with better composure.
FRIDAY
-Three-time Sprint Cup champ (and noted asshole) Tony Stewart will return to racing this weekend three weeks after he struck and killed racer Kevin Ward Jr. on Aug, 9th during a sprint car race in upstate New York.
So how's he been spending his down time since this terrible event?
Oh shit...
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…
SEE THE NOVEMBER MAN
I dunno what the hell it's about, but Pierce Brosnan is in it and I've been down with him ever since that bitch Mrs. Doubtfire scoped him in the dome with a lime.
FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFTS!
Most cringe-worthy name of 2014: Ray Rice's Elevator Rides.
SPEND TIME WITH LOVED ONES!
Because it's a wrap by next Thursday.
I dunno what the hell it's about, but Pierce Brosnan is in it and I've been down with him ever since that bitch Mrs. Doubtfire scoped him in the dome with a lime.
FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFTS!
Most cringe-worthy name of 2014: Ray Rice's Elevator Rides.
SPEND TIME WITH LOVED ONES!
Because it's a wrap by next Thursday.
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
S/O to Chicago Sky Forward Elena Della Donne!
Serial-killer name. Serious game.
Delle Donne dropped 17 of her 34 points in the 4th quarter to lead the Sky to the deciding game of WNBA Eastern Conference Semifinals with a 81-80 victory. Atlanta had 13 points total for the quarter.
Kobe approves of this!
Later guys, see you next week Fuck 'em
-WST
