BACK AGAIN AND IT’S TIME TO KNUCKLE UP AND GET IT ON!
10. Tong-Po (Michel Qissi)-Kickboxer
Kickboxer’s pony-tailed antagonist shatters Eric Sloane’s spine
and then has his boys kidnap him in an attempt to ensure victory when younger
brother Kurt (Jean-Claude Van Damme) challenges him for revenge. He even beats & rapes Kurt’s girl,
Mylee! Lesson Learned: Never visit
Thailand. EVER.
9. Kelly Stone
(Joe Piscopo)-Sidekicks
Comedian
Joe Piscopo plays kind of a John Kreese-Lite (The Cobra Kai Master from Karate
Kid) and does a decent job of it too as his Stone Karate School cronies
terrorize daydreamer Jerry Grabrewski.
Motherfucker MUST be joking though to think he can throw down with CHUCK
NORRIS! In fact Chuck kills
Piscopo’s career, as he’s never heard from again after this flick.
8. Ryan “The Terror” McCarthy (Cam Gigandet)-Never Back Down
He’s
popular, rich, and good-looking but the only thing he loves more than
Mixed-Martial Arts is fucking the new kid up in front of the whole school while
videotaping the entire thing. How
big of a douche is Ryan? Well, he
later enters his fight at the infamous “Beatdown” to Soulja Boy…
7. Commodos (Joaquin Phoenix)-Gladiator
He’s
kind of a more evil, but also more pussified ancient Roman version of WWE’s Vince
McMahon. He uses everything
including fucking Tigers to take out Maximus and even STABS him before finally
facing him on and he STILL can’t beat him. Maximus told you he’d have his vengeance in this world or
the next bro…
6. Zeus(Tommy “Tiny” Lister)-No Holds Barred
Before
he was “Deebo” in Friday or the
President in The Fifth Element , Tommy
“Tiny” Lister was ZEUS and his one mission in life was ending the life of
Wrestling champ Rip (Hulk Hogan).
Lister would actually go on to wrestle for the WWE for a few years after
this movie.
5. John Gillon (Bruce Dern)-Diggstown
He’s
a former Boxing manager and the richest guy in Diggstown, Georgia on account
that he bet against his best, and heavily favored fighter and then sabotaged
the fight. Yes, life is good for John Gillon until he takes a $1.5 million
dollar bet that con-man John Kane’s guy, Honey-Roy Palmer, can’t beat ten
Diggstown Boxers in one day. Never
con a con man Mr. Gillon.
4. George Washington Duke (Richard Gant)/Tommy Gunn (Tommy
Morrison)- Rocky V
You
can’t have one without the other; Duke’s got the hustle and can’t get Rocko to
fight, so he steals and brainwashes his protégée for the muscle. Honestly this movie sucked, except for
the EPIC street fight at the end that leaves Gunn in handcuffs and “The Duke”
in a position no brother wants to be in; stranded in south Philly and
surrounded by a bunch of angry Italians…
3. John Kreese (Martin Kove)- The ORIGINAL Karate Kid
This Karate Sensei won't be winning any Sportsmanship awards anytime soon…
SWEEP THE LEG! COBRA-KAI NEVER DIES!!!!!
2. Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka)-The ORIGINAL Karate Kid
This
bandanna wearing punk-bitch has, and will continue to inspire generations
of d-bags for years to come. He is
THE 80’s villain. You gotta admit,
he actually makes being a prick cool…
1. Chong Li (Bolo Yeung)-Bloodsport
While
Johnny Lawrence wins the tool of the 80’s award, THIS guy was just pure
evil. The crazy part is Bolo Yeung
was 42 when this flick was made! LOOK at him! The man is jacked! He severely beats Ray Jackson, the
friend of main character Frank Dux (Van Damme again) before attempting to kill
Frank, himself, by throwing salt in his eyes and giving him the business
too. Van Damme wins at the end
because you know, it’s his movie, but shit Bolo was a motherfucker.
Even Chung Li’s demeanor and walk says, “I don’t give a
shit, I’ll end you.”
-WST
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