Thursday, February 14, 2013

The 5 most overrated rivalries in sports.


5. TEXAS-OKLAHOMA
It’s a big deal down in that region but I honestly can’t remember the last time a game featuring these two really had me on the edge of my seat. 

The hype machine always starts cranking though since it’s in TEJAS! YEE-HAW! EVERYTHANG IS BIGGER DAWN ERE SON! SHIT DEM BOYS IS HAVIN DA TIMES OF DEY LIEEEVES OUT DERE!!!!

In the last 12 years, six of these meetings were blowouts while 2007-2009 provided the best string of games (28-21 Sooners, 45-35 Longhorns, 16-13 Longhorns).

4. CHICAGO BEARS-GREEN BAY PACKERS
 A battle so old that you’re grandparents would wake up and go check it out after a long night of kicking it in the club with Duke Ellington and Louie Armstrong.

  However, just because these two NFC North foes have been playing longer than the life span of C. Montgomery Burns does not mean it’s a good one (NFL’s best is Steelers-Ravens).  The Bears dominated the decades from the 20’s through the 80’s while the Packers have come on as of late by taking the 90’s through 10’s. 

Rarely have both team been good at the same time in recent years. Except for that NFC Championship game in 2010 that haunts me when I sleep. I don’t want to talk about it…

3. MICHIGAN-OHIO STATE
We get it. You’ve been playing even longer than the rivalry mentioned above and you really don’t like each other.  No one else gives a shit. 

You know why? Because while it used to be kind of interesting, Ohio State has just bitch-slapped Michigan in the last decade like it owes them money.  

The Buckeyes have taken eight out of the last ten from their neighbors to the north and with notorious recruiting pimp/coach Urban Meyer now flying up fleet-footed criminals from the south, it’s probably not going to change anytime soon.

2. NORTH CAROLINA-DUKE
 Ooooooohhhhh you’re ten miles apart?! You play in a basketball-obsessed state?! Congrats.

 Every time these two square off, I gotta hear Dick Vitale’s voice; IT’S WILLIAMS, IT’S COACH K, THE TAR-HEELS, THE DUKIES, IT'S THE BATTLE OF TOBACCO ROAD BAAAAABY!!!!!!! Please.  This rivalry sucks. You hear me? Sucks. 

It's just two snobby ass schools flicking their boogers at the rest of College Basketball. In fact, Vitale should have something in his contract with ESPN that states he’s only obligated to do play-by-play for the two match-ups. 

That way everyone wins; he gets to keep that boner he clearly has for both at full mast all season and the rest of us will only have to listen to him twice a year.

1. YANKEES-RED SOX
 Fuck you ESPN AND FOX sports. No seriously, fuck you for making America suffer by televising every damn game these two teams play.  THEY PLAY EACH OTHER 18 TIMES!!! You make me want to quit watching Baseball some days.

 Fuck Babe Ruth. Fuck Lou Gehrig. Fuck Ted Williams. Fuck Bucky Fucking Dent. Fuck Pedro Martinez. Fuck Roger Clemens. Fuck Manny Ramirez. Fuck Wade Boggs. Fuck Don Mattingly. Fuck A-Rod. Fuck Jeter. Fuck Joe Torre. Fuck Curt Schilling. Fuck Jason Giambi. Fuck Hideki Matsui. Fuck Mickey Mantle. Fuck Don Zimmer. Fuck Reggie Jackson. Fuck Carl Yastrzemski. Fuck George Steinbrenner!

David Ortiz, Carlton Fisk and Mariano Rivera are cool though!

-WST

1 comment:

  1. You were right on the money with this one pal, although I was surprised to see you take a shot at your Bears.

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