DEFENSIVE LINE-DESMOND BRYANT
(CLEVELAND BROWNS)
WHY? Party too hard.
End up in a family’s front yard.
NFL players have done worse.
But when this is your mugshot…
DEFENSIVE LINE- D’QUAN BOWERS
(TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS)
WHY? He brought
a gun to the airport. Yeah, you
can’t do that. Guess he didn’t catch Katt Williams American Hustle special…
DEFENSIVE LINE-JOHNNY JOLLY
(GREEN BAY PACKERS)
WHY? Back in the league after a three-year suspension
following an arrest and prison time for possession of 200 grams of
codeine. He’s a purple drank
kingpin.
LINEBACKER-VON MILLER (DENVER
BRONCOS)
WHY? We went
over this Friday.
LINEBACKER-ROLANDO McCLAIN
(RETIRED)
WHY? Eighth overall pick in 2010. Four arrests in three years.
The scourge of Decatur County, Alabama. A complete waste of talent.
At least he doesn’t let a little thing like jail ruin his
day.
LINEBACKER-QUINTON GROVES (CLEVELAND BROWNS)
WHY? Arrested as part of a prostitution sting in April. I
always figured if you were a big-money pro athlete, ass just gets thrown your
way and there's no need for a dial-a-ho service. Guess I’m wrong.
LINEBACKER-RONNELL LEWIS
(DETROIT LIONS)
WHY? Managed to
get into a bar fight near in Norman, Oklahoma where he was an all-Big XII selection for the University of Oklahoma Sooners. So let me get this straight: you're a big-time pro football player back at your alma mater where you're worshipped and people STILL want to kick your ass? Gotta be a cocksmoke.
DEFENSIVE BACK-ALFONZO
DENNARD (NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS)
WHY? Beat up a
Lincoln, Nebraska police officer in March. Lucky they didn’t shoot his ass dead. Followed it up with a DUI on July 11th. The Pats have been pretty busy the last couple months. Crime is hard work.
DEFENSIVE BACK-PACMAN JONES
(CINCINATTI BENGALS)
WHY? Charged with aggravated assault in June for punching a
woman outside of a club. Jones is
the Gucci Mane of the NFL: always in trouble, yet somehow manages to keep
getting paid despite. So much
baggage, I hear he just lists “jail” as his mailing address.
DEFENSIVE BACK-QUINTON CARTER
(DENVER BRONCOS)
WHY? Arrested for cheating at craps in a casino. Who the hell goes to a casino to cheat
at craps? You can do that with a pair of loaded dice in a back alley with a burning garbage can for
heat. He’s lucky he didn’t pull
that shit at the Tangiers…
DEFENSIVE BACK-AMARI SPIVEY
(ST. LOUIS RAMS)
WHY? Spivey enjoys treating his ex-girlfriend like a human
piñata. He's the type you wouldn't mind seeing run over by a truck carrying potential Biggest Loser
cotestants.
Thank you for your continued support
of the WST. Beginning tomorrow, I’ll be out of the country in Belize for a
week. Hopefully, I’ll return with
some good stories and a killer tan.
In the meantime, be good, keep laughing and don’t do
anything too stupid without me.
-WST
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