Wednesday, July 3, 2013

10 FIREWORKS, RANKED!


10. SNAKES.  Are they lame?  Sure.  But that’s half the fun.

9. SPARKLERS. Kid friendly so I guess it works if there are shorties around.

8. ARTIFICIAL SATELLITE. You know never where these little fuckers are going to go, and frankly, that’s the best part.

7. BOTTLE ROCKETS.  BRs combine two of America’s favorite pastimes; blowing shit up, and drinking.    For fun, tie the wicks of two or three together.  Just stay away from those power lines…

6. SMOKE BOMBS.  Wait for a friend to use the port-o-potty and then toss one of those bad boys in…juvenile? Yes.  Funny as shit?  Definitely.

5. ROMAN CANDLES. You ever have a Roman candle fight when you were a teen?  It’s pretty fun, unless you get hit or something…

4.  BLACK CAT FIRECRACKERS. Still the #1 way to spook people on the Fourth.

3. SATURN MISSILES.  The best value really.  You buy a 100-shot battery and you get a good two minutes of action.

2. M-80s.  Don’t blow your hand off…

1. RELOADABLE MORTAR SHELLS.  Light up the sky, just like the pros do.  On a side note, I threw one once and instead of hitting my intended target,  it struck a friend in the mouth.  Bloody mess.  So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend that.

-WST

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