Sunday Funday: 10 things to do with The NFL gone.

It sucks doesn’t it? Do you have that empty feeling? That hole where your heart should be? That feeling of despair? Of course you do because after 20 weeks of fantastic play, the NFL season is over.

 Some read that "NFL season is over" part, rolled their eyes, and said, “The Super Bowl is next week ass.” Just give me a minute to finish.

Yes, the end of the season is technically a week away.  However, unless you’re a fan of the 49ers, Ravens, or have invested a sizable sum of money in the game, you don’t really give a damn about the Super Bowl or it’s outcome. You just hope it’s not a blowout.

  You don't watch with the same emotions that you have for your team during the regular season.

You don't watch with the same emotions that you would for a playoff game, where the opportunity just to get there is on the line and creates excitement.

That's cause the Super Bowl is more a social event with lots of distractions than an actual game.  You do things during that game that you would never dream of during the regular season. Like communicate with other humans on subjects other than Football. Terrible, I know.

 You’ll host or show up to a party, socialize, eat a shitload of food, struggle to find a good seat, drink, complain about Beyonce’s lip-syncing during the halftime show (women), and really only pay attention during the 4^th quarter. 

Afterwards, you’ll head home content, full, drunker than Robert Downey Jr. preparing for his next ‘Iron Man’ role, and without a care in the world.

You won't feel the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, or the joy/pain of the inevitable riots & looting that await citizens of San Francisco and Baltimore following the game.

So as I said, the NFL season is over and you’ll need something to do now that your Sundays are free. 

The Well-Spoken Token is your savior and here with 10 ways to spend your Sundays until spring arrives when you can leave your homes and shanties.

NOTE: There's two #1's for obvious reasons...

10. Read A Book:

Let’s be real, the last time you did any kind of reading off your toilet was when you read that Fantasy Football strategy magazine the night before your league's draft and still ended up with Sam Bradford and Mark Sanchez on your roster.  Broaden your minds and read something.  Stephen King, Michael Crichton, Ernest Hemingway (hometown shout-out), Tom Clancy. Anything.  Hell, if you're a J.K. Rowling nut, grab that "Harry Potter" book dummy.  I currently have my nose in Jeff Pearlman’s “Sweetness,” a biography of Walter Payton and it’s quite a page-turner bitches.

9. Indoor Driving Range:

 It’ll be warm and time to head out to the links before you know it. You don't want to be the dude or girl that everyone has to wait on because you’re hitting more grass than a pot-head on a three-day weekend.  Go to a bubble range, work on that swing, have a couple cocktails, and talk to the really not-ugly college co-ed behind the front desk.

8. Watch That Show Everyone Else Loves:

 Look, The 'Walking Dead' is the best damn show on TV.  Everyone loves it.  Everyone spends Monday mornings talking about it.  Aren’t you tired of being the ONLY person who doesn’t watch? Whether it's OnDemand, Netflix or Hulu, use whatever you need to catch-up on past seasons or episodes.  That way, when it returns February 10^th, you won’t be the d-bag asking your friends or significant other too many questions.

7. Take A Road Trip:

Call in a sick day, load your friends in the car with booze, good tunes, and snacks to hit the road for a long weekend. Go visit that old buddy or cousin who has been begging you to come out and kick it in their city.  Check out a big college town and pose as students with an elaborate back-story (more fun than it sounds). Party and hang with people you’ll never meet again in a place you may never return to.  You’ll come back with two-dozen new stories to retell and annoy your other friends over and over.

6. Learn To Cook:

Will this make you irresistible to members of the opposite sex? Who knows? Does it hurt to mention you can throw down in the kitchen while on a date? HELL NO! I’m talking to both men and women here when I say learn to make SOMETHING.  Whether you use a cookbook, watch a show on the Food Network or just spend an afternoon with mom (love her), cook it up.  At the very least, you save dollars from not eating out plus you can now use your stove and oven for something other than broiled chicken, rice and veggies every night (bachelor living).

5. Channel Surf:

Have you ever seen ‘Scent of a Woman’ with Al Pacino and Chris O’Donnell? FUCKING FANTASTIC MOVIE!  Did you know it earned Pacino the 1992 Academy Award for Best Actor and was nominated for Best Director, Best Picture, and Best Adapted Screenplay? Three years ago, I didnt't know any of that shit. Three years ago, I hadn't even heard of it.  Now it’s in the WST’s top ten.  That's the power of channel surfing. Thanks Encore!

4. Exercise.  You Fat Ass:

You just spent the last four months every Sunday on the couch or in bars EATING.  Wings, Polishes, chips, pizza, jerk chicken, gyros, Italian beef, tacos, Chinese and subs.  Can't forget all the booze you drank while doing so.  The gym numbers are starting to decline a bit since the New Year’s resolution people have already given up. Now it's time to throw on the shorts and get a workout in fatty.

3. Watch the NBA:

With Football gone, it gives us all more time to enjoy America’s second favorite sport (look at how far you’ve fallen, Baseball).   They’re all here; Lebron, Durant, Derrick Rose (soon), Blake Griffin, Kobe, Chris Paul,  James Harden, even Rajon Rondo’s bitch ass.  As long as Charles Barkley and Shaq are around, NBA pre-game shows will always shit on their NFL, NHL & MLB counterparts. The NBA also has the best All-Star game, just never let your girl go without you.  Why you ask? Well would you enjoy the thought of her ending up as Metta World Peace's road chick?  Because that’s what happens to girls who go to NBA All-Star Weekend to party without their guys; they end up as road chicks that players "hit and quit" next time they're in your city. NEVER LET YOUR GIRL GO TO NBA ALL-STAR WEEKEND WITHOUT YOU! YOU GOT THAT? NEVER!!!

1. Have Brunch With Attractive Women: 

It's always good to have a diverse group of friends.  It’s even better when some of those friends happen to be good-looking women who happen to be friends with more good-looking women and they invite you and your buddy to join them for Brunch.  The pain of no more football is eased when there’s a lovely pair of eyes across (as well as to the left and right) from your Crab cake eggs benedict.   #BCB

1. Keep Watching Football: 

The Senior Bowl is this Saturday, the NFL combine is in a few weeks, watch Arena League Football, watch the Canadian Football League, go online and study up on college prospects for the NFL draft, watch nothing but NFL Network, watch the NFL draft, play Madden, go outside with some friends and toss the ball, count down the days until next season.

 CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP, WATCHING FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, can you dig it?