10. I’m too
friendly!
Hood
face aside, I’ve think I have made it abundantly clear in the past that I enjoy
meting new people and making new friends.
However, I need to do a better job of establishing if I’m actually
interested in a girl or if I just enjoy linking up to party, hang out, etc.
I put MYSELF in the friedzone the same way Antonio Cromartie
just has kids. We do that shit
JUST to do it despite what little sense it makes.
9. I wait!
I’ve
always been the type that just aims to have a good time when I go out, coupled
with a “if it happens, it happens” mentality when it comes to females.
That’s bullshit though. I’ve realized I kind of use that as
an excuse to not even bother getting on the offensive when I’m out and
about.
Seems I have this grand delusion that I’ll be out with my
boys one night, and the perfect woman is just going to spot me and realize I’m
awesome.
Yeah, ok…I’ll be waiting until I’m 45 thinking that way.
8. I’m clueless!
Everyone knows girls have signs
that are utilized to make a guy aware that they’re interested. Well if there are any of you out there
that may have a thing for me, I should probably inform you…I WON’T HAVE THE
SLIGHTEST IDEA!
Seriously, outside of being painfully obvious or just
kissing me, I won’t figure it out.
Doesn’t mean I’m not feeling you.
I’m just bad at recognizing interest when it comes to me.
It’s a flaw of mine…it happens.
7. I’m ugly!
Just
dicking around… I needed filler.
Have you seen my family?
We’re all good looking as fuck!
6. I STILL put my
friends first!
Found myself in quite the dilemma a
couple weeks back: Some girl who may or may not have been digging my style
(told you I’m clueless) invited me to her birthday party. However, it was my boy's birthday as well and he was trying to pre-game at my place before heading
out.
Chose to roll with my friend and attempted to
organize a rendezvous with the girl’s party so everyone could win. You know; my friends can meet your
friends, we can all be friends, we can do this every weekend-type deal, but to
no avail.
Hit her up a few days later to see if I could make up for
missing her event and maybe take her out for dinner sometime, not even an
answer back. No text. No call. Nothing…
DAMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! COLD AS ICE!
WALK IT OFF KID!
I did the right thing though. This wasn’t about “man’s code” or some “bros before hos” shit...
This wasn’t some second-tier friend (don’t hate, you know you have some second-tier friends); this was one of my aces. If I had my OWN
All-Pro team made up of friends, he’s a starter. I’m not going to put him on the backburner
while I run off to chase someone I’m not even sure about.
Every man reaches the point where they finally date some
girl who they like enough to put ahead of time spent with friends, I get that,
I just haven’t dated her yet.
5. I have a weird
sense of humor!
Here’s a text between my best
friend’s wife and myself from yesterday:
HER: Hey! I’m at the Target near your place.
ME: Well you better come
by here and Tar-GET some of this loving!!!
HER: Oh I did, but you
were still asleep!
Obviously, that’s tame, but some discussions we have would
make a girl unfamiliar with my off-the-wall sense of humor do a double take.
She understands that’s just me being a fool because she’s known me for nearly
ten years and married to a man almost as weird and goofy as I am.
I feel like it takes every new woman in my life a few months
to figure me out. Only problem is
most will abandon ship well before that.
4. I tend to
over-think!
I’ll always stress myself out thinking about the right
moment to text or call a girl.
Then if I do get a date, I’m all like: what to wear? Where
to take her? What is she thinking? Is there a part two to this date, where to
go for part two? Should I go in for the kiss after I walk her to her door? What’s she thinking now? Will there be
a second date?
Best advice I’ve ever gotten when it comes to shit like this
is just do, don’t think. It’s hard
though, I’m a Virgo; we think a lot.
3. I’m not a baller (yet)!
What’s in your wallet matters now
more than ever. There used to be a time when our mothers and fathers were
together based on long-term potential and they tried to make it together...
Today, we’re all about instant gratification…never mind that
no one is really making money.
Sorry but I only know two people between the ages of 23 and 29 who make
six-figures.
As for me, I do all right, and have the potential and drive
to someday get to the top. It’s just about finding the person who wants to
stand with me (not behind or in front) and take this journey to get it.
2. I’m chubby!
Doug
Heffernan. Phillip Banks. Carl
Winslow. Those were some big men
who managed to do pretty well in the wife department. Unfortunately, they’re all fictional characters.
I need to be in better shape. Not just for my health long-term, but it certainly doesn’t
hurt as far members of the opposite sex go. I’ve done all right losing some weight but I need to
eat healthier and do more cardio work than lifting all-year round.
If I can stay focused enough and cut down, I’ll be putting a
lot of these chumps masquerading as men out of the game.
1. I don’t really
try
As
I inch closer to thirty, part of me actually WANTS to take weekend trips with
someone special or send flowers just because it’s Tuesday.
I want that, and all the other shit my friend’s do for their
girls. Not because they always like it, but because they’re with someone they
care about.
I say that, but at the same time, I don’t make a great effort
to find someone because the other part of me is still selfish…
I LIKE not answering to anyone. I LIKE hanging with who I want, when I want, wherever I
want.
I LIKE going out and staying out until I FEEL like going
home…
Not because
someone is tired, or their feet hurt, or they’re just moody.
I LIKE SLEEPING
IN MY COMFY ASS BED ANY DAMN WAY I PLEASE!
Saturday night I slept on an angle with my right leg spread
in front of the left and a pillow cradled under my arm like a football.
Woke up looking like a cross between the Air Jordan logo and
the Heisman trophy and it was GLORIOUS!
You can’t do that shit when you’re with someone! My ass would have been sleeping on the
couch…in my OWN place!
-WST
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