The NBA playoffs are here and while there’s sure to
be a little drama involved, its safe to say barring injury, the Heat are almost
certain to end up facing either the Thunder or Spurs in the finals.
Due to this, I’ve decided to make it interesting and pick
my winners based off the foods that each city is known for. The opening round was one for the ages
as we witnessed the one and three seeds upset! Let’s get into the Semifinals!
EASTERN CONFERENCE
5.) DEEP DISH PIZZA
(CHICAGO BULLS) VS. 8) CHEESE CURDS (MILWAUKEE BUCKS)
THE STORY CHICAGO:
-Last week the Deep Dish just worked over Nathan’s “Famous”
Hot Dog like a CPD riot cop to move on to this round and now has it sights set
on bringing Chicago it’s first Championship since 2010, when a the city went
grape ape over a hockey team that only a small minority cared about five years
earlier. They won’t let you forget
it either!
Features: Cornmeal crust, lots of tomato sauce, toppings,
enough cheese to clog an artery.
The Story Milwaukee:
-The cheese curds from Milwaukee
Brat House scored the biggest victory the
city has seen in ages when it pulled the upset of the century and took down
one-seeded Miami and their Cuban sandwich. Now this underdog travels south down I-94 to the City of
Wind…
-Features: Melted Cheddar, Grease.
-THE VERDICT:
This is harder than it looks.
In my cheese-loving perfect world, I get tipsy and smash an appetizer of
curds before the main course of Deep Dish.
But it’s not, this is the semis baby and there’s no
friendship here. There are two
reasons Milwaukee can’t win:
1.As I stated last week in the Shrimp Cocktail (Indy)-Chili
Dog/Peach Pie (Atlanta) match-up, if you best dish is an appetizer, you’re in
trouble Jack…
2. The Packers (don’t care if they’re not in Milwaukee) take
a dump on the Bears every year and Bo Ryan’s Wisconsin Badgers always beat the
Fighting Illini in hoops despite being nowhere close to as talented.
The whole population of the
state should go for a stroll…INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC!
DEEP DISH WINS AND MOVES TO EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS!
2.) HOT PASTRAMI ON
RYE (NEW YORK KNICKS) VS. 6.) CHILLI DOG (ATLANTA HAWKS)
THE STORY NEW YORK:
- NY’s hot pastrami sandwich from Katz’s
Deli found itself in a dogfight against
Boston yet again as they took on a New England Lobster Roll. There’s a lot of things about the “Big
Apple” that I find overrated; Knicks, Yankees, their Pizza, Manhattan as a
whole.
This sandwich however, is not one of them. It’s seriously a mean motherfucker.
-Features: Smoked Pastrami, Rye Bread, And Spicy Mustard.
THE STORY ATLANTA:
-Atlanta’s chili dog and peach pie
tandem from The Varsity pulled off an upset of it's own, taking out Indianapolis’ spicy shrimp cocktail. It really wasn’t a match-up though due
to my appetizer rule. Getting past
NY won’t be as easy.
-Features: Special recipe Chili Dogs, Peach Pies, Onion
rings.
-THE VERDICT: I can’t lie, as good as pastrami can be, I
have to be in a special kind of mood for it, Meanwhile those Chili Dogs are
FLAME!
Like I said last week, I put aside the fact that I don’t eat
Chili to eat them. Have you ever
done that shit before? Tasted
something so good, you’re like “I hate you, but just for the occasion, I’ll let
it slide!”
CHILI DOG/PEACH PIE WITH A REAL UPSET! THESE GUYS ARE ON FIRE!
Make sure you check back later this afternoon for the
Western Conference Semifinals and picks!
-WST
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