A HUMP DAY ADVENTURE FROM HOME!

Last night was supposed to be a non-eventful Wednesday night.  I was a little under the weather and had already settled onto the couch with my favorite sweatpants when my roommate informed me that we would be having a little company…

He was attending the Swedish House Mafia concert right down the street at the United Center and the two girls going with him would be stopping by the condo to pre-game before heading over. 

If you don’t know whom Swedish House Mafia is. Step one is get out of your cave, step two is checking them out below.

Meanwhile, I’m blowing my nose like a French Horn (that’s what I get for walking out of the gym everyday with my shorts on in the dead of winter. I do stupid shit sometimes).

I know these girls are more than likely good looking, as he tends to associate with girls who are not ugly. So it’s time for an appearance quick tweak.  No girl wants to sit in the living room with the sick, disgusting roommate.

The home quick tweak when girls stop by unexpectedly is never hard; it’s just about looking neat but also looking like you didn't change just for them.

I quickly drink some Nyquil, toss on a gray v-neck t-shirt, my UGG house shoes and turn my Bears NewEra cap backward because all cool guys turn their hats backwards.

Boom! I’ve transformed from sick, disgusting roommate, to cool, chill, lounging roommate.

Around 7:30, a leggy blonde comes through the door followed by a buxom brunette.  See? Told you my roommate has taste.

We make our introductions; talk a bit on how they know each other, watch a little NBA on TV (Kyrie Irving was BALLING). 

I end up having a drink or two while the three of them proceed to completely demolish a bottle of Ketel One with tonic water.

However, I’m starting to notice that it’s getting later.  They had said the SHM would be starting at nine and all of a sudden, it’s 8:45.

At this point, the blonde is completely bombed and she has that face.  You know THAT face because anyone who drinks has had it before.  She quickly makes a beeline for the bathroom and doesn’t come out for bit.

Now the brunette is PISSED. Turns out, she had just moved to Chicago two weeks earlier and really, really had her heart set on seeing this concert.  In fact, she’s so pissed she gets a phone call and runs right to MY room and slams the door.

My roommate keeps his cool, walks to the fridge and tosses me a Popsicle all while trying not to crack up because I have a shit-eating grin on my face.

The process continues for another hour and a half:  The blonde would come out, look like she’s ready to finally go, but then runs right back to the bathroom.  Meanwhile, the brunette goes back and forth between my room, the living room and the bathroom to check on her buddy, all while just stewing and steaming.   

At one point, I jokingly ask if she wants to Harlem Shake it out and she shoots me a death stare that would turn a man to stone.

Finally, around 11:30, the girls have a ride come pick them up and my roommate and I share a quick laugh before heading to bed.

They may have missed Swedish House Mafia, but I definitely got a free show last night and didn’t even have to take a step outside.

-WST