TEN THINGS I'D DO WITH THE STANLEY CUP!

So the whole “Blackhakwks are the world champs again” story is old news…

And while the parade and rally is all over, the Stanley Cup is still somewhere out and about town.

On Friday, I finally got a chance to see Lord Stanley's Cup in person.  Can you spot me?

However, I’m not the type that's satisfied with just a glimpse…

I just don’t want to touch or take a picture with it either. I want to do some shit...

I’ve seen pictures of the Blackhawks drinking Champagne out of it and while that’s cool, I think if I got a hold of the trophy, I could top it…

So here’s the Ten Things I would do with the Stanley Cup in my possession.

10. PUT CHANGE IN IT!

            I always have loose change on me, I think the cup could provide nice place to store it all.  As a bonus, I could leave my keys in it since I have a nasty habit of misplacing them everywhere.

9. DIP BOWL!

             I could put soooooo much queso dip in it.  Pass those Tostitos man.

8. SINK!

            My sink works fine, but how baller would it be to watch a game, eat some wings, and then wash your hands in the greatest trophy in all of sports?

7. ICE BUCKET!

            I feel like I could get some ice, a few craft brews, a bottle of champagne, and two liter of Canada Dry in.

6. FREE WEIGHT!

            Military Press would never be the same. SHOULDERS LIKE BOULDERS BRO! SHOULDERS LIKE BOULDERS!!!

5. PEDICURE!

            I have a trip to Belize at the end of the month.  That means a lot of time in sandals and no one likes bad feet.  Got to soak those toes before the ladies at the salon go to work.

 4. ITALIAN ICE!

            How about  a nice summer evening with Lord Stanley’s cup filled to the brim with some of Mario’s famous Italian Lemonade?  Make sure to mix lemon and cherry.

3. FEEDING BOWL!

            My family has a pretty chill tuxedo cat; I can’t imagine anything his fat ass would enjoy more than eating some of his Science Diet out of the cup.

2. PUT A BABY IN!

            I’m still a good three to five years away from marriage but if I had a kid…and if I had the Stanley Cup…. I’d put my kid in it.  Because who doesn’t find an infant in a trophy cute?

1. EAT SOUP!

         I love my soup.  Clam Chowder, Cream of Mushroom, Chicken Noodle…can't get enough!  And it would make my year if I could fill that bitch with any of the above, grab a nice-sized spoon, and go to town!

-WST