Bro....who the FUCK are you?!

Afternoon kids, I love the title of this post. When have you ever heard the above at a party and thought, "Oh, if whoever explains, it will be fine!"  No.  Questions like this end with someone looking up at the ceiling like a newborn seeing the world for the first time.  Nine times out of ten, it's the bro who asked it.

So who exactly the fuck am I!?

I'm Jay, I grew up outside of the greatest city in the world (Chicago for the uninitiated) in Oak Park, IL.   My High School experience was about as basic as you can get.  I was a fair Football player, mediocre Wrestler and excelled in talking about sports and day-dreaming about girls I could never get since high school girls are just as shallow and terrible, if not worse, than high school dudes.

After high school, I took my talents to a small liberal arts university in Sioux City, IA.  A town who's claim to fame, as far as I'm concerned, is as the hometown of Kirk Hinrich, starting Point Guard for the Bulls (until Derrick Rose comes back for his shit) and one of those solid white players in Football or Basketball that are described by everyone at Sports Illustrated and ESPN as being "scrappy" "tries hard" or has a "good motor".

In college, I continued my Football playing, fascinated the other co-eds with my amazing skills of NOT being every stereotype they had seen on TV while also managing to reinforce one or two on the side.  I'm also sure I caught criticism from some of the other African-Americans on campus (almost all 20 of them)  since I primarily just kicked it with other guys on the Football team, which until my Senior year, were almost all white.  Can you say trailblazer?  Basically I was like Jackie Robinson, only you know.... no obviously blatant acts of racism committed against me.  I also didn't wear the number 42.

Why the Well-Spoken Token?

I've never been short on friends, White, Black, Latin Asian, Indian.  Pretty much, if you're cool and I'm cool, we can all be cool.  However, I developed a reputation as an "Oreo" from some because I spoke properly, drove a nice car, hung out with white kids and always seemed attracted to white women.

Never mind my crew consisted of three black guys, three white guys and my girlfriend was black, well..... mixed.  Enough about that though, I sound like a white kid trying to explain why he's not racist, "I'll have you know, I have two black friends dammit!"

So what's the point of all of this?

My fishing buddy Morgan Freeman once said "You can either get busy living or get busy dying" and since he pretty much knows his shit on account that he's God, Nelson Mandela, outfitted Batman and has a golden voice that we all love, I  figured he's probably on to something and I should start writing again.

I'm writing to make you laugh and feel good about something during your weak-ass work day.  I'm also writing to make you think, make you question and make you hungry (I like talking about food some days).

Maybe one person reads this, maybe dozens, maybe hundreds.  All I know is that I've already won because I just started living.  Welcome to the adventure.

-Jay