WEDNESDAY RANT: HOME IS WHERE THE HEADBAND IS!

So it’s Friday night…

We’re at my Fortress of No Solitude doing some pre-game and as usual, I’m freaking out.

Women are over and I’m trying not to look like a slob…

Seems I’m either moving around too much or it’s just too fucking hot in my place because I’m sweating. 

Like not an absurd amount, but you can clearly tell I’m not comfortable.

So I start using paper towels, napkins, t-shirts.  Still not stopping the trail of tears down my forehead.

I sneak into my room when no one is paying attention, search every inch of it, before finally accepting the failure of not locating my one savior.

NOT A HEADBAND IN SIGHT!

From 2000-2009 I rocked the headband like few could.

 Cliff Robinson from the Portland Trailblazers was always kind of my headband muse. He rocked one at a time before they became real trendy, even for the NBA.

You remember Cliff, don’t you? He’s this guy…

I didn’t just use my headband for sports…

Can you guess which one of these things is not like the others? Did you get it? 

(headband and smiling)

My headbands were various in color and used as a fashion accessory

Most importantly, they kept my head dry, and soaked up any perspiration that may accumulate in a party, dance floor situation, even formal event.

People just didn’t understand though…

Monty: "Ohhhh, think you’re cool cause you wear a headband? You’re not!"

:::Everyone laughs:::

Me: “Damn, just called me out on my whole style!” (too embarrassed to say it’s really my perspiration shield)

Here’s another one...

Random:  “Hey man, you going to play ball?”

Me: “Nope, headed to this house party, the band is for when it gets crowded and HOT!”

Now more than ever, I have this image that people would look at me weird if I showed up anywhere other than a playing field rocking one.

Then again they probably look at me weird already. I have a big body, small head and I have the vernacular of your accountant.

So that puts it over the top.

Stopping at a Sports Authority or Dick’s Sporting Goods over the weekend and by summer time, you’ll see this face at your local house party, baseball game, beach, concert or patio brunch.  Headband in tow.

-WST