All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should.
Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
-Streaker at the President’s cup?
Fred Couples seems to approve.
-The
only thing Juan Uribe enjoys more than cheeseburgers is hitting monster jacks.
Live it up, Juan!
You earned that triple from In-N-Out.
TUESDAY
-Nike
has released their designs for this year’s Pro Bowl uniforms…
I guess the NFL likes them even though they scream college
football. Oregon and Oregon State
want their shit back. They got a “Civil
War” rivalry-game to play damn it.
-The
Olympic Torch relay has only been going for two days and the flame has already
been extinguished four times…
Look at that shit…like a bunch of dudes trying to light a
Grill. Any of you Russians got a
light? Maybe a couple pieces of newspaper?
WEDNESDAY
-A
lot of people despise White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson. Personally, I love the guy because he’s
a wonderfully old, senile, homer and it’s funny to me.
Make 2014 your last season Hawk. Not just for all 200 White Sox fans out there, but more
importantly, do it for you buddy.
-I
guess Derrick Rose likes Ducky Dynasty.
My question: why the hell is his kid so ANGRY? Probably pissed this party is
interrupting his training. He’s
trying to be the best!
THURSDAY
-Bears beat the Giants 27-21 as
Chicago’s defense ran into a more turnover-prone QB than their own. Jay Cutler actually looked good with
two TDs and no picks or fumbles. Unfortunately,
that means he’ll probably throw six and fumble twice next week.
As long as I’ve been a Bears fan, I can tell you the only
two things that have been consistent on this team over the last 10 years is
Defense and Special Teams and I’m still getting used to the idea of both being
awful.
Watching Brandon Jacobs bitch Bears defenders all game made
me consider going home and water boarding myself. I was already a ticking time
bomb to begin with…
I decided to go out with some friends for the game and the
bar ran out of Wings!
HOW DO YOU RUN OUT OF WINGS! IT’S THURSDAY NIGHT!
THE CITY’S FAVORITE TEAM IS PLAYING! WST WANT WINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
-The
Toronto Raptors Mascot The Raptor (they
must have a top notch Marketing and Promotions department up north) has torn
his Achilles and is out for the season.
He’s also their best player. Why even bother to play games?
FRIDAY
-Minnesota
Lynx win their second NBA title in three years. This is big news for the Twin Cities area.
They haven’t had a sports moment this exciting most exciting
since the Twins ALMOST made it to the playoffs in Little Big League.
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re
not drunk or doing something better…
SEE MACHETE KILLS!
-Danny Trejo is badass and it
features the bat-shit tag-team champs of the world in Mel Gibson and Carlos
Estevez.
SEE CAPTAIN PHILLIPS!
-Somali
Pirates>Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
Forest Gump is about to save the day!
WATCH THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 4!
-So
many people make that “best show on TV” claim but only so many can back it
up. It’s go time.
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout Out to Tegan Zimmerman!
Tegs is a friend and may be the only person I know who would actually enjoy
a shout-out from this rag.
She’ll be running in the Bank of America Chicago Marathon
and has met her donation goal for Team Bright Pink. Everything she’s earned will be going towards breast cancer
research and prevention.
Congrats Tegan, you’ve worked your ass for this and best of
luck to anyone and everyone running the Marathon this weekend. Whether you’re doing it for a cause, or just yourself, I
envy all you guys.
Thank you for your support of the WST. We made it. Friday is here. Have fun and be awesome.
-WST
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