Friday, October 18, 2013

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-SIMON SAYS!


All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY
-It’s been about 10 years since this…
-Depressing?  I know.  In fact, I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I brought it up.  Enjoy this badass Bear playing tetherball to make up for it.

TUESDAY
            -Here’s a Special Columbus Day message from LSU Coach Les Miles.
Motherfucker what?  The highest paid State Employee of Louisiana right there ladies and gents.

            -What happens when a Broadway Singer belts out the extended version of the National Anthem during a Minor League Baseball game?
Mass Confusion everywhere!  Didn’t know America had a remix did you?  Get an education.

WEDNESDAY

            -Cowboys cut Jay Ratliff.  Jay Ratliff collects $18 million dollars without playing a down this year because Jerry Jones is Jerry Jones. 

However, Ratliff is still only the second best player in the state of Texas when it comes to cashing out…


            -If Aliens ever roll up Independence Day style and start wrecking America’s shit….
 
Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD can St. Louis be the first city to go.  Please?

THURSDAY
            -Seahawks defeats the Cardinals 34-22. 

Can't lie, I actually missed most of this game because I spent my evening down the street at the Blackhawks-Blues game.  It was only the third Hockey game in my life and for some strange reason, shit always goes bad for me when I decide I’d like to watch some live puck…

-Got sauced and confronted some d-bag who wouldn’t leave a group of female friends alone at a minor-league game while in College.

-Two winters ago, I went to St. Louis for a Blues game and highlights included brushes with an angry father and an off-duty police cop.

-Yesterday, I caught shit from some redneck because I dared stood up to use the bathroom between whistles.  I was later informed that serious Hockey fans tend to get angry about that sort of thing. 

But you know what?  Fuck that. 

When I need to piss, I get up to take one. Sorry to block your vision for a whole two seconds.  Have an issue with it? You can always open your mouth and catch it.

He was even polite enough to inform me, “It’s not a Bulls game brother.”

Got that shit right…had it been a Bulls game, I’d be sitting on the floor pussy.

So yeah, maybe I’m just not meant to attend Hockey games or maybe most hardcore Hockey fans should just do the sporting world a favor and down a couple Draino Martinis. 

-Yao Ming…Mugsy Bogues…Shanghai…
            This Rush Hour 4 sequel is getting made with or WITHOUT Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  They better wise up and take the money.

FRIDAY
            -The Dark Gronk Rises…
Hit the music!!!!!!!
NOW SAVE MY FANTASY TEAM YOU BIG MUTANT POLLACK!!!  I STASHED YOU FOR WEEKS!  I NEED PRODUCTION NOW!!!!!

WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE 12 YEARS AS A SLAVE!
-It’s going to be up for an Oscar.  Just see it.

SEE CARRIE!
            -If you’re going to be a bully, the bitch from third period with telekinesis isn’t the best choice for a potential victim.

WATCH SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!
            -If you’re not rooting for Peyton Manning this game, you have no soul.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out to Sweatpants!

SOOOOOOOOOOO COMFY!  Also perfect for lounging or running small fun errands like running down to 7-11 for a Snickers Ice Cream bar and a Taquito.

When it comes to sweatpants, you should always have no more than eight pairs and no less than three.  Colors must include Blue, Black and of course, classic Grey for sure.

I’m out.  I think I’ll order Chinese tonight and watch Bloodsport.  You forgot about that shit didn’t you?

-WST



No comments:

Post a Comment