All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should.
Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
-The 15 minutes of fame for Linebacker Reggie Northrup (#5) begins as a result of his show out session
following Florida State’s 51-14 over Clemson last Saturday...
THOSE WOULD BE REFERENCES TO THE CHAPPELLE SHOW’S ROBOT GUY DANCE AND THE MEEK MILLZ TRACK, “OHHHH KILL EM.”
Sorry…I gotta help out the readers who don’t have a clue what
the hell Northrup is doing and why I find
it funny…
I call them my family…along with at least 30% of my white
friends…love you guys!
-Kansas City is the only undefeated
team left in Football. For reasons
unknown to even me, I crap on the state of Missouri quite a lot. So I’d like to
patch things up with the "Show-Me" State and propose a toast…but with what?
BTW, I don’t care if Mizzou is undefeated…you know they’re
going to blow it. Oh, and Tyler Hansbrough is from Missouri. They
just can’t catch a break can they?
TUESDAY
-Look
at Kyrie Irving…
Don’t laugh…quick bastard crossed you too while you were
watching. Only Five days left
until the NBA season.
-Holy
Shit!
So you’re telling me Alabama, along with College Football
Prince of Darkness Nick Saban, can afford flying rats with wings to spy on
potential opponents but his players can’t get few dollars a month to buy a damn
burrito after a game? If you say
so...
WEDNESDAY
-Sportscasters in other countries are so chill…
Could you imagine that happening in the U.S.? Joe Buck’s would have fainted, and Troy Aikman would have moseyed down from the
booth to spit some game.
-Remember when I said Reggie
Northrup had 15 minutes of fame as College Football’s “interesting thing” for
the week? Well make it five
minutes...
Female readers, say hello to THIS pretty-boy Motherfucker:
That would be Notre Dame Junior Running Back Cam McDaniel,
and yes ladies, he WILL take you to the farmers market on Saturdays…and NOT get
too drunk at parties… and actually LISTEN to how your day went…and WILL try to
get into Scandal for you…he’ll even take
you to see WICKED. He’s the perfect dude.
UNFORTUNATELY…he has a FIANCEE…and she won’t NAG his ass
over little things…or get PARANOID about the way she looks…and she WON’T demean
his interests…most importantly, she lets him watch the GAME and doesn’t play
them. She’s the perfect woman.
Guess the rest of us are just stuck with each other.
THURSDAY
-So
Drake had to cancel his concert scheduled for Saturday in Philly for... (insert
shot at Drake’s manhood here) but not before running into Laura Roberts, the
fiancée of Eagles Safety Kurt Coleman and her bachelorette party:
Damn, I’d say Drake looks about as happy as Riley Cooper at
a Drake concert right there.
-Cam Newton threw for two TDs and rushed for another as the
Panthers cruised over the Buccaneers 31-13.
Least you can say this about TNF: at least they're consistent...consistently bad, but consistent. I mean this game was worse than Bitstrips bad. And can someone please explain to me how the fuck that shit became cool?
SWEET MERCY! IT’S THE
COMIC-STRIP VERSION OF YOU DOING LAUNDRY AND RUNNING OUT OF DRYER SHEETS!!!!!
YOU>GARFIELD!
WHOA! NOW
YOU’RE A ZOMBIE WHO DOESN’T FEEL NORMAL UNTIL YOU’VE HAD YOUR CHEERIOS!!! YOU'RE JUST KILLING CHARLIE BROWN’S SHIT NOW!!
I’d like to sit down with the people responsible for this
trend and inquire to why they would do this to the world. And then…
FRIDAY
-RIP
to William Harrison. The Author
and Screenwriter of Rollerball.
There
was also a remake in 2002 with LL Cool J and guy who played the sensitive jock-bro in American
Pie, but don’t waste your time watching. It's 98 minutes of kindle for a trashcan fire.
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re
not drunk or doing something better…
SEE THE COUNSELOR!
-Drugs, beautiful people, and
Mexico. I’m not talking your
junior-year spring break trip to Cancun either.
SEE BAD GRANDPA!
-Johnny
Knoxville does what he’s always been good at; stupid random shit to
unsuspecting random people. Only
this time there’s a little dude with him.
Wait, Wee-Man was in the other movies right?
Well then…just rent one of those, smoke a bowl, and save a
few bucks
GET A HALLOWEEN COSTUME!
-National
females dress in lingerie & animal ears day is next Thursday. That means people will be out and about
two weekends in a row. Time to get creative (but cheap) for your costume
fellas.
However, if you’re to old for that sort of thing, you should
still come out and can always just tell everyone you’re dressed as a no-fun
dick.
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout Out to my Charlie Hunnam!
So I guess a lot of females were hating on your for being
cast as Christian Grey in the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey flick. So you dropped out,and now they hate on
the guy they re-cast in your place? Do these broads want this flick to get made?
Ladies, quit crying, and let them cast a dude without
problems.
Anyway, you’re good bloke Charlie, and may I add too much of
a badass for that type of role anyway.
I’m not talking Sons of Anarchy either…takes a true tough guy to turn
Elijah Wood from Charmin extra-soft ass to a G.
It's a wrap.
Thank you for supporting the WST.
I’m running into more and more of you who are feeling what I’m putting
down here. Popeyes biscuit gift baskets
for you all once this takes off.
-WST
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