Five things you can do to become a more credible sports fan.

5. Stop referring to your favorite teams as “We"

            I get it, you’re passionate, you never miss a game, you know the complete history of a team and you have closet full of merchandise.

Call it a hobby.  Call it an obsession.  Just don’t call it a job and using “we” when referring to your favorite club indicates that may be exactly what you believe.

Not trying to be an ass, but you’re not a player, coach, general manager, owner, water boy or even the practice facility’s janitor.

You’re not getting paid, you’re not practicing and you’re not making major team decisions.  However, if you’re rich, and do happen to own some a percentage of a team with a return on your investment, carry on. 

Green Bay fans that bought “stock” in the Packers a couple years ago don’t count.  That piece of paper is worthless. They receive no special privileges on merchandise or seating and see zero profit.  Still not part of the team.

4. Leave "Bandwagon" fans alone

I think it’s finally time for me to go to an actual Chicago Blackhawks Hockey game. 

That’s right, I’ve never been to a Blackhawks game and I literally live three blocks from the stadium. 

Honestly, until the 2010 season, when they won the Stanley Cup, I, along with half of the Chicagoland area had no desire to go.

That’s cause growing up, the team was dreadful and their senile owner, Bill Wirtz Sr., would not televise home games as he thought it would be unfair to the small minority of season ticket holders. 

Wirtz croaked in 07, his son took over, and the team’s been a cash cow ever since.

Six years ago, you could give Blackhawks tickets away, now they’re one of the most sought after in town.

This angers the old-school Blackhawks fan that spent a lot of years watching what a 2004 ESPN article called the worst franchise in all of sports, ALL OF SPORTS! Veteran Blackhawks fans would rather be bitter about new fans hopping on the bandwagon than just enjoy the team’s new found success.

Do “real fans” actually think their favorite players care whether the people who pay for those seats or who take their time to watch them have been rooting for as long as 30 years or just as recent as yesterday?

They don’t.   Why not enjoy the ride and attention that comes with being a consistently competitive franchise? If anything those people should be helping to inform the less knowledgeable fans.

Or go ahead and be a jerk. Just get out of my face with the “Oh, you’re just watching because they’re winning now” argument.

3. Stop being hateful

              While I stay true to the Windy City with my rooting interests, I have friends who are Vikings fans, Heat fans, Ohio State fans, Pistons fans, Twins fans, Packers fans, Cubs fans, Redwings fans, Knicks fans etc.  During the season, when their teams meet mine, yeah, I’ll talk some shit, because it’s fun. There's never any ill-will intended.

Afterwards, it’s over with until next time.  I don’t post pictures of another team’s cheerleader and berate her with names like some Bears fans did on one of their Facebook Fan pages.

 I don’t make fun of a player’s recently-deceased grandmother like a group Duke fans did last week in a basketball game against North Carolina State when they chanted "How's your Grandma?"

 I wouldn't knock a man out like some Baltimore Ravens fan did to a guy who was wearing a Ben Rothlisberger Jersey during their Super Bowl parade.  Maybe they thought it really was Ben?

There are always going to be people in EVERY fan base of EVERY sport who take things to the extreme.  It’s not just limited to one group and it’s more a problem of society in general.

As human beings, we need to start being better to each other.  Trust me, it’s not the end of the world if your team of choice loses to it's rival.  Saying or doing something hurtful isn’t going to make you feel any better.

2. If you interact with an athlete, don’t be an asshole

            When attending Bulls games the last few years, I’ve been fortunate enough to end up sitting behind the visitor’s bench.  It’s a pretty fun fan experience from a league where the players are a lot more open to fan interaction during games than others. 

Last season, Brooklyn Nets Shooting Guard Josh Childress (then on the Phoenix Suns) was pretty receptive to our jokes and cool about posing for a photo.  At a different game, Lakers Forward (a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers at the time) Antwan Jamison couldn’t stop laughing after my buddy “U” offered to broker a trade that would send him to the Bulls and ship out mercurial Bulls Forward Carlos Boozer.

It was a nice departure from a season earlier when I was at a game with my father and the two bros sitting five seats down decided to harass and shout at then Dallas Mavericks SG DeShawn Stevenson regarding a 2001 statutory rape charge (reduced to a misdemeanor, got off with community service).   

Sorry fellas but it’s a Basketball game, not a court room or the street.  By the second quarter, security had tossed these clowns.  They ended up looking like idiots while potentially getting the season ticket holder who gave them their tickets into trouble.

 Nice job dickheads.

Situations like this are what make some athletes weary of interacting with fans. I mean what’s the point if some jackass is going to get into your face every minute with a snarky comment?

If you happen to spot a famous athlete in a public place that you’re not a fan of, don’t pay attention to him or her. 

I promise you 9 times out of 10, if you walk over and say something unnecessary, you'll come out looking like the asshole.

1. Understand Sports are just a distraction

            Tom Brady isn’t going to go to work for you tomorrow.  Kobe Bryant isn’t going to pay your cable bill.  A-Rod isn’t going to chauffeur your kids to soccer practice and Patrick Kane isn’t going to help you and your girl get back together (He’ll probably get ON her, if anything).

U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren once told Sports Illustrated, “I always turn to the sports section first.  The sports section records man’s accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.”

Sports are just a distraction to take away some of the stress and trials of the every day grind.  We choose to make them apart of our lives and that’s a beautiful thing but we should always remember that after the game is over, there’s still a life to live and if you understand that, you’ll be all right in the world.

-WST

A message From The WST to you, the reader.

Four years ago, I did something that I had really never done in my life.

I doubted myself.

I fooled myself into thinking I wasn’t good enough, intelligent enough, witty enough or just skilled enough to make this happen.  

I was waiting for a moment to come to me instead of making my own.

Then one-month ago today, something happened.   

Something clicked, I woke up at four in the morning and began to write for the first time since college.

Since that day, for five days a week, Monday through Friday, I’ve continued to write without hesitation.  I’ve stayed up late, I’ve woken up early and I can only describe the feeling in a word…

Amazing.

And what's even more amazing is that YOU have been reading the Well-Spoken Token blog.  I’ve hit a couple home runs on some posts, whiffed on others, but people have been reading and that's pretty cool.

You’re reading in Nebraska, Iowa, Indiana, Michigan, Washington, Texas, California, New York, D.C., South Dakota, Minnesota, Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, Wisconsin, Missouri, Florida, Oregon, even the United Kingdom (What can I say? the Queen digs me).

You’re reading in my hometown of Oak Park, IL and my current home, the city of Chicago.

And to all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Because this is what I love and this is what brings me joy.

I love to talk, debate, discuss, listen, learn, laugh and live life while writing about all of it. This is who I am and who I'll always be.

 In the last month, I've had some shitty days (like any human being) and still considered them a success knowing that I posted something on this blog and somewhere, SOMEONE was reading and nodding their head in agreement.

Smiling because you can picture me right next to you saying exactly what you're reading, complete with my infamous “I know he just did something” grin.

Laughing because I praised white people for their fantastic contributions to the dessert world or that I tend to bring up your favorite forgotten movies at any random moment.

 Teasing and giving me shit about the blog because you enjoy my reaction.  I love every moment of it, even if I front like I don’t.

The WST’s page views are about 70-150 a day. Those numbers are nowhere close to what I think it can grow into, but it’s a pretty damn good start in my book and I owe that to all of you for getting me this far and spreading the word.

To my friends and family, thank you for the e-mails, calls, texts, messages and comments wishing me luck or words of encouragement.

White, Black, Indian, Native American, Arab, Latin, Asian? Thank you.

Straight, Gay, Lesbian? Thank you.

Conservative, Liberal, Independent? Thank you.

Domestic or International? Thank you.

I can’t look into the future, I’m taking it a day at a time and as the days continue, hopefully so will the overall quality of my writing, format and the blog itself because I am still learning.

Finally, get ready for more because I'm going to keep talking sports with thoughts on culture, life, love and entertainment sprinkled in a way I only know how.

I want your input, I want your thoughts, and most of all, I want you to have as much fun reading the WST as I do writing it.

So enjoy the weekend and the 48 hours of freedom that comes with it.

I’ll be here for you when Monday morning comes around and every day after...

Except the weekends, THOSE DAYS ARE STILL MY DAMN TIME!!!!!!!

Keep Reading and much Respect.

-WST

The Ten biggest assholes in Sports Movies.

In my opinion, films are only as good as it’s villain because sometimes, being a villain is more interesting and fun.

10. Jack Parkman (David Keith): Major League II

            -Ozzie Guillen once said of former White Sox Catcher AJ Pierzynski; “If you’re playing against him, you hate him, and if he’s on your team, you hate him a little less.”  Thank god he never came across Parkman because EVERYONE hates him.  Dude’s an arrogant ass who takes pleasure in talking shit to Pitcher Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn and the Cleveland Indians for almost the entire movie.

9. Spike Hammersmith (Sam Horrigan): Little Giants

            -It’s not Spike’s fault his psycho-ass Pops has trained him to terrorize the gridiron since birth.  However, due to it, he’s lean, mean, and doesn’t take too kindly to any girls on the field that don’t carry pom-poms.

8. Tony Perkis (Ben Stiller): Heavyweights

            -He eats success for breakfast with skim milk, he’s got his dad’s money (Tony Perkis Sr., the light fixture king of Western PA), and he’s out to slim down the fat kids of Camp Hope AT ANY COST!

7. Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson (Casten Noorgard): D2: The Mighty Ducks

            -He knocked out his own coach, was banned from the NHL, leads a team of weird Icelanders who look like they’re old enough to drink and REALLY REALLY is not fond of Mighty Ducks/Team USA Coach Gordon Bombay.  The Junior Goodwill Games just got real...

6. Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald): Happy Gilmore

            -He eats pieces of shit like you for Breakfast and he threatened to burn Grandma Gilmore’s house down and piss on the ashes.  Stay out of Shooter’s way, or you'll pay, listen to what he says.

5. Clubber Lang (Mr. T): Rocky III

            -HEY WOMAN! HEY WOMAN! Look up Mr. T’s bio sometime on Wikipedia. Before he became a star, the “South Side Slugger” was a FUCKING BADASS. I am positive that he wasn’t acting in ‘Rocky III’ and the director told him to be himself.

4. Ogie Oglethorpe (Ned Dowd): Slapshot

            -You hear his name mentioned several times throughout the movie followed by a moment of tension and fear but don’t actually see him until the final 20 minutes.  His appearance leaves a little something to be desired but his rep in the film alone earns him number four on the list.

3. Coach Bud Kilmer (Jon Voight): Varsity Blues

            -He’s a local as well as Texas State legend with two state titles and 22 district championships.  Too bad he’s racist, ignores serious injuries by injecting his players with steroids or painkillers, and then tosses them away like a jag-rag after he’s finished with them.  Did I mention he’s really not into new offensive formations?

2. Ross “The Boss” Rhea (Liev Schreiber): Goon

            -For a guy who’s still trying to get into hockey, this list is kind of puck-heavy but with good reason as Hockey lets you fight and for years featured goons like “The Boss” to bleed for the team.  However, the old vet finally meets his "Waterloo" (Napoleon reference idiots) at the hands of newcomer Doug “The Thug” Glatt.

1. Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren): Rocky IV

            -I don’t hate him because he’s Russian.  I don’t hate him because he WILL break me.  I hate him because he KILLED APOLLO CREED!!!!!!!!!! WHY COULDN'T ROCKY JUST THROW THE DAMN TOWEL IN?!!?!

Honorable Mention:

Birdie (Tupac Shakur): Above The Rim

            -Tried to kill his own brother following a summer league Basketball game.

Rachel Phelps (Margaret Whitton): Major League I & II

            -Ex-Vegas Showgirl with a plan to move Cleveland’s beloved Indians to Miami. She’s also a major bitch.

Iowa Guard #64: The Program

            -You never see his face, thanks to an extra-dark visor. He single-handedly ends the career of ESU Linebacker, Alvin Mack, the team’s best defender and the greatest shit-talker to ever play college Football.

Clu Heywood (Peter Vukovich): Major League I

            -“How’s your wife and MY kids?”  The best line I have ever heard. ANYWHERE!

-WST

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SUCK SO MUCH FEBRUARY?

This month by far offers the worst holidays.

Sorry Abe Lincoln, I know you freed the slaves but I don’t care that it’s your birthday.

By the way, did you really free the slaves? I gotta confess I fell asleep in the theatre during the second half of  ‘Lincoln’ since I had just seen ‘Django’ seven hours earlier.

Frankly, after watching a freed slave blow up a Mississippi plantation, you wouldn’t feel like spending three more hours seeing how it really happened either.

Sorry, George Washington, I don’t really care about your birthday either, I haven’t had it off in years and I know if you had someone around to blame that Cherry tree shit on, you would have done it.

Sorry Valentine’s day, I should be against you since the last three go down in the scorebook as fails. However, I don’t have the hate in me to really dislike you either.  I’m more indifferent than anything.

You see, I’ve decided February blows and is the worst.

Football is over.

College Basketball and the NBA don’t get interesting until March.

Baseball is still two months away. Don’t give me that World Baseball Classic nonsense, it sucks and should be taken to an empty field and shot.

I’m starting to watch a little more hockey, well scratch that, actually, I’m starting to watch more Chicago Blackhawks hockey, but the sport will always remain the Tito Jackson of the four big ones.

I’ll still watch ‘Mighty Ducks 2,’ ‘Slapshot,’ or ‘Goon’ over an actual NBC Sunday Hockey broadcast.

Weather wise, February sucks.  The innocence and joy I had as a kid playing in the snow is now replaced by pure contempt and hate as an adult who has to drive in it, shovel it, attempt not to slip (busted my ass this morning) on it or step in the dog shit hidden in it.

Even from a social aspect, this month blows.  It’s Wednesday and I can already tell you what I’ll be doing with my Saturday? Shit. 

I’ll wake up, eat some Oatmeal, go lift at the gym, come home, shower, throw on those sweatpants that are a size too big and spend the rest of the day occasionally glancing at some college hoops game that I could care less about or listen to Childish Gambino and Mac Miller while watching ‘Tombstone’ for the 200^th time, “I’M YO HUCKLEBERRY!”

On Sunday, I’ll either go to someone’s place or people will come over to watch some ‘Shameless’ and ‘Walking Dead’ and we’ll use the three hour block to forget there’s a million things to get done once Monday hits.

Know my plans for next weekend?  The same thing.  Maybe a chill stop for a drink Friday night, but other than that, it’s like I’m in hibernation.

Only thing worthwhile this month is my little sister’s birthday (love you kid, one team, one dream).  It’s February 12^th, readers should buy her lots of gifts or face her unforgivable wrath.

So enjoy your February, well try to anyway.

-WST

TWO THUMBS UP, FOUR THUMBS DOWN TUESDAY!

Every Tuesday, I’ll be sharing the little life’s pleasures that make me jump for joy and the terrible, awful things I want to spit on.

Two Things that earned my love:

1. Banshee on Cinemax:  The network formerly known as “Skinamax” has been cranking out quite a few good shows recently, Hunted, Strikeback and now Banshee. Check out an episode and TRY not to get hooked .

2. The Walking Dead Returns: This Sunday, it's on like a light switch.  Well not a Super Dome light switch, but you get my point.

Four things that earned my scorn:

1. Will Ferrell: Think Bar Refaeli and that geek had a gross kiss?  Check out Ferrell’s Old Milwaukee Super Bowl ad that only appeared in Sherman, Texas; Ardmore, Okla; and Glendive, Montana.

2. Mike Lee: So we have Justin Tuck, Ndamukong Suh and...who the hell are you Mike Lee? I can't be the only guy who's been wondering what a Light-Heavyweight Boxer from Notre Dame with only 11 fights is doing on my damn TV or what he's done to get there. They might as well have put me in.  I would have sold the shit out of that Steak Melt.

3. Ravens WR Jacoby Jones: I guess when you throw 3 TD’s like Joe Flacco did, you deserve the MVP, but Jones was a BALLING Sunday at the Super Bowl with a sick TD catch and a 109 kickoff return for another score.  I wish I could show you the clip of his endzone dance but I will not be getting sued by the NFL.   I’ll just say he was getting saucy with it and those free dance classes I gave him paid off.

4. Beyonce in the Illuminati:

 

Pretty sure she's just throwing "The Roc" (Rocafella Records) sign up.  She can’t be in the Illuminati, she’s hasn’t made any sacrifices that I know of.

Now Jay-Z on the other hand…

-WST

5 Suspects behind the Super Bowl Power Outage

There I was; Good food, lots of drinks, lovely women. I was having the best Super Bowl in recent memory at a friend's party.  The Ravens were in the middle of a thorough dismantling of the San Francisco 49ers and then this happened...

Someone forget to pay the light bill? Jim Harbaugh's finger prints on that switch?  Ray Lewis out in one final attempt to eliminate all remaining enemies?

Not bad theories for your average citizen, however, WST is smarter than that and dug deeper to find the REAL forces at work here and offers you five suspects who could have had something to do with last night's Power Outage.

5. ROBERT REDFORD

 Was he in the Super Dome?  Did he have that bat, "Savoy Special" with him?  If he did, look no further.

4. BANE

 After collapsing Gotham Stadium like a troubled marriage, I could easily see the masked terror from last Summer's 'The Dark Knight Rises' having something to do with the lights taking a vacation as he was born in the dark, moulded by it.  He drops a couple pretty sick verses right here. You hear the name Bane, you feel the pain New Orleans.

3. KANYE WEST & RHIANNA

 Beyonce ripped up the halftime show but it wouldn't shock me if little bro and sis, Yeezy & Rhi-Rhi got a little jealous and attempted to steal the show.  My sources tell me they had an  impromptu performance ready to go. Luckily, building operators got the lights back on before the duo of douche could do their thing.  You know rap concerts never start on time.

2. SHAWNE “LIGHTS OUT” MERRIMAN

 He hasn't been good since the league made him get off the "juice," but about 5 years ago, he was one of the most dominant sack artists in the league. That's why the NFL really stands for Not For Long.  However, like his signature dance, I can see him turning the switch with a flick of the wrist.

1. PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING

 Anyone who enjoys the theatrics of the squared circle knows last night was nothing unusual and EXPECTED someone to be out on the 50 yard line once the blackout ended.  Chris Jericho?  Sting? Nope, last night was work of the dark man himself, the phenom, yes the UNDERTAKER!!!!!!

SPECIAL MENTION: NBA Commissioner David Stern:  Because David Stern is part of EVERY conspiracy theory in sports.  I can picture him there right now in the Super Dome, chilling next to Roger Goodell with that damn smirk on his face.

-WST

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY: almost all SUPER BOWL EDITION!

Welcome to a little something called FULL CIRCLE where I’ll give you a review of everything that happened this week in sports.

MONDAY

-Former 49ers & Raiders Offensive Tackle Kwame Harris joined a small list of former players to have had a gay relationship.  Though through no admission of his own.

Harris, a 2003 First Round draft-pick who played from 2003-2008, appeared in court Monday on charges that he assaulted his ex-boyfriend on August 21, 2012.

Harris was charged with felony counts of domestic violence as boyfriend, Dimitri Geier had to be taken to the emergency room and treated for several injuries including a broken eye socket suffered following an argument with Harris outside of a Menlo Park Chinese restaurant.

Harris’ attorney claims Geier assaulted the 6’7 320 pounder first before he retaliated.

Damn. That’s all I can say on that.

TUESDAY

-Media Outlets (and various freaks) descended upon New Orleans for a Super Bowl Media day described as tame opposed to Media days of years past.

Well except for Randy Moss saying he’s the greatest Wide Receiver of all time and everyone losing their shit.

Including the actual greatest WR of all time...

Jerry Rice: "RANDY I GOT RINGS BITCH!  RESPECT MY GANGSTA!!!"

Oh and Ray Lewis being peppered with questions about his 13 year-old murder case as well as a article in this week’s Sports Illustrated that accuses him of using the “Ultimate Spray,” a deer antler extract that contains growth hormone IGF-1, a naturally produced anabolic hormone that stimulate muscle growth.

He responded by saying this is “God’s time” and calling the allegations “Tricks of the Devil.”

Holy shit, I laughed my ass off on the last one because that’s about as Ray Lewis as you can get.  The man is a terrible person but can’t say he’s not entertaining.

WEDNESDAY

            -Meet  San Francisco 49ers Cornerback Chris Culliver; Philly native, 2011 Third-round pick out of South Carolina, finished the regular season with 47 tackles, one forced fumble and two picks. 

On Wednesday, this little gem came to light after he was asked how’d he feel about playing with a gay player on Artie Lange’s (he still has a career?) radio show during media day:

“No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can’t be in the locker room man.”

That sound you hear is me banging my head against a desk…

CHRIS CULLIVER, YOU DUMB, SILLY, SON OF A BITCH!

It’s wrong and hateful to begin with, period. But did you really pick Super Bowl Media day to say THAT shit?

Kid created a distraction for his team.  Too bad they can’t send him back to San Francisco early where you KNOW he wouldn’t be able to walk around without catching a haymaker from someone.  Good job dickhead.

Clearly Chris Culliver didn’t watch any Eddie Murphy growing up...

UPDATE: He apologized Thursday, but you know how these things go. Someone’s not happy in the Niners front office.

-Meet Jessica Sanchez, beat reporter for CBS Orlando affiliate WKMG. You’ll immediately become a fan of her after this clip. Why? Well watch?

THURSDAY

- The Manti Te’o thing stopped at Dr. Phil’s door as he sat down with Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the alleged mastermind behind the Lennay Kakuna scandal.

Allow the WST to provide you with a summary so YOU don’t have to bother to watch this nonsense:

He says he’s gay, well “confused”.  He was attracted to Manti, who had nothing to with it.

Now THAT sound you hear is the sound of money exchanging hands.  Straight cash homie. PAYOFF! 

side note: Look at him.   Rufio from Hook let himself go man...

            - WST wishes a Happy 94^th Birthday to Jackie Robinson.  You endured hate so others that followed could be loved.  Make sure YOU ALL see 42 in April.

FRIDAY

            -Happy Black History Month! Somewhere, a grade-school teacher is giving kids some Peanut Butter spread over apple slices and talking about George Washington Carver.

TOO BAD GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER DIDN’T INVENT PEANUT BUTTER! STOP!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better.

THERE”S SOME BIG GAME ON THIS WEEKEND!

            -Come on, you already know what it is.

That’s it; chalk another one up for the good guys. Enjoy those Super Bowl parties and share those chicken wings. 

If you’re drinking Sunday night, have that cab or designated driver on standby people. See you Monday!

-WST