WEDNESDAY RANT: DAMN YOU HOOD FACE!

So the other night, I’m just chilling, JT’s new “20/20 Experience” in my ears when a rush of quotes from the past couple months start flowing in my head.  All are from various types.

“So are you like the bouncer for the trolley driver?”

“You alright dude? You look pissed off"

“Oh man, my bad, I though you were security!”

“Leave him alone when he gets that look in his eye.”

“You’re a lot cuter when you smile.”

“You all were the most intimidating group of guys ever in High School.”

“So what your story man? We could use a couple dudes like you and your friend working the door at our spot.”

Fuck.

 Opened Pandora’s box, so now I’m thinking about one that really stood out from college and is still on my mind today:

Random Girl: “You know, I was really afraid to talk to you your freshman year…”

Me: “Wait, what? Why?”

Random: “You always looked like you were pissed off when you walked around campus!”

And another…

Rube: “J, that guy wanted to fight you.”

Me: “The hell is his problem?”

Rube: “He thought you were mean-mugging him. I know him though, told him you always look like that.”

I get it.  I’m a big guy.  I’ve gone over that previously.

But do I really look angry at the world when I’m walking down the street?

Started looking at old pics and noticed what I’ve always known…

I really do love my smile.  My smile is one of my few features that I’m admittedly confident, borderline arrogant about.

"Peace sign yeahhh! Need help moving some furniture this weekend?"

Look at that dude!  Bros, isn’t that someone who you want to kick it with?

 Ladies, isn’t that the smile of a man you want to take home to mom and dad?  Pay no attention to the booze in the background.  No clue where it came from.

However, I also noticed that when I don't smile…

"You gonna eat your cornbread?!"

GAHHHHHHHHHH!  I look like I killed someone and I’m just taunting the authorities!!!

Jesus, there’s women who have gone on blind dates with me and were probably freaking out while I listened to them talk…

“HE LOOKS SO PISSED!!  I SHOULD VOMIT IN THE BATHROOM, SAY I GOT FOOD POSIONING AND CALL JEANEATTE TO PICK ME UP!”

Okay, so I guess THAT hasn’t happened yet, I don’t think it has, but that doesn’t mean it CAN’T or eventually WON’T!

So I guess it’s true…

 I, the WST, like millions of other young American males, suffer from Hood Face…

Hood Face isn’t the same as Jerk Face.  Jerk Face is the appearance that you’re annoyed/would rather be anywhere else than the place you’re in. 

Jay Cutler is the master of the Jerk Face

Hood Face isn’t the same as Struggle Face.  You see a lot of struggle face in a lot of athletes/fans anytime a big game is lost. Especially at the collegiate level.

Hood face is a different animal altogether.  Hood face will scare off women, get you in fights for no reason, ruin pictures, and make people around you at work completely uncomfortable.

So I need your help.

 I need readers to dig deep into their pockets deep and contribute to my new WST Eradicate Hood-Face Foundation (EHFF). 

I’m volunteering myself to be the first test subject.  Brave and courageous, I know.

My foundation believes that possessing your money will allow me to smile a lot more and eventually eliminate all traces of my Hood-Face altogether.

You, yes you, could make a difference, and change a life…MY life.

I mean money worked for Ice Cube right?

-WST