FIVE PIG-OUT MEALS ON THE NEAR-WEST SIDE!

I love my Neighborhood.  Been a resident for four years this summer.  However, one thing that does kind of annoy me is that it’s a food desert. 

Unless you’re coming from a Bulls or Blackhawks game at the United Center and feel like consuming a heaping portion of regret at the Golden Arches down the street, there aren’t really good places to eat when you want to just say screw it all and smash something tasty.

Well to the untrained eye anyway…

I’ve had time to canvass the entire area are and I found five sinfully delicious foods all less than a mile away from my home on The Near West Side.

5. BIG DUMBASS SLICE OF PIZZA-BACCI PIZZA (2301 W. Taylor Street)

Whenever I feel like having a lot for a little, I jet about half a mile south to the remnants of Chicago’s old Little Italy, where the original Bacci’s still stands proudly.  Today, these purveyors of the pizza have grown from a little mom and pop operation to quite the cash cow with locations all over the city and burbs. 

While they do a pretty decent pie, it’s nothing to write home about (pizza snob). 

However, their ridiculously sized "New York style" pizza slice for the low, low price of $5 (with a pop) is.

 If your eyes are bigger than your stomach, you can save what you don’t eat for later.

Unfortunately, I don’t have that problem…Gone in 60 Seconds isn’t just a movie title in my world.

4. QUARTER/HALF CHICKEN-DINNER-HAROLD’S CHICKEN (1014 S. Western Avenue)

If you don’t know the story of Harold Pierce’s “Harold’s Chicken Shacks,” I’m not sure if I can consider you a real Chicagoan. 

Mr. Pierce moved to Chicago from Freeman, Alabama in 1943 and opened the first Harold’s by 1950.  He franchised the concept to family and friends who opened additional restaurants and today, there are dozens bearing his name on the South and West Sides, as well a few on the North side recently.                                      

Harold’s also has franchises in Detroit, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Las Vegas, Madison, Wisconsin, and the Dallas area.

Now that your minute-history lesson is over, stop by and order the half or quarter chicken dinner meal; you get fries, coleslaw, bread and some of the best damn southern-style fried chicken you’ll ever put in your mouth.     

                                                                                                                                                    Remember to ask for some extra “Mild Sauce."  Seriously, make sure they give it to you, they’re really stingy with it.  Drizzle it on and try not to bite your own fingers off.

3. ITALIAN SUB-GRANDDADDY’S SUBS (2343 W. Taylor Street)

Sometimes Subway, Quizno’s or Jimmy John’s doesn’t cut it.  You want a real, authentic, fresh sandwich. 

If you fall into that category, it would greatly behoove you make that trip back over to Taylor Street (A block from Bacci’s) and visit Granddaddy’s Subs for lunch.

They’re cranking out trip-your-sibling good subs and sandwiches with quality ingredients, but you need to try the Italian; capicola, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, no mayo, little oil& vinegar, topped with homemade Giardiniera relish. 

Damn! Molto Buono!

2. THE JUMPBALL-MOON’S SANDWICH SHOP (16 S. Western.)

If there was ever a time to never judge a book by it’s cover, it’s with Moon’s Sandwich Shop. 

The place is well passed closed when suburbanites pass it on Western Avenue en route to Bulls/Blackhawks games in the evening.

During the day, it looks like a piece of shit from the outside.  Just another building that won’t be there in 10 years when gentrification takes the rest of the neighborhood.

If they only knew…

Moon’s is a legendary small breakfast-lunch counter that opened in 1933 and has lasted through time.  They have the usual Hamburger, Hot Dog fare, but specialize in two things...

 Corned Beef Sandwiches and Breakfast.  And I really like Breakfast.

My favorite is the Jumpball Scramble; italian sausage, 3 eggs, onions, cheese and potatoes mixed together and served with toast.  It will chase any hangover away like a wife who just caught her man cheating.

Moon’s is only open to 3 p.m. and gets packed on weekends, so anytime the fellas drop in for a game or all-day Sunday Funday, we usually have them deliver.  Never mind that’s it’s only a four block walk.

1.     PHIL’S SPECIAL-PHIL’S LAST STAND (2258 W. Chicago Avenue)

Beautiful Chaos is the only word I have to describe what you see above…

What you’re looking at is a jumbo polish sausage sliced down the middle and stuffed with a charred-hot dog, topped with mustard, grilled onions, and cheddar cheese, then TOPPED with homemade salami mac&cheese, and TOPPED again with more grilled onions!

Two things you should know about the Phil’s Special…

1. Ask for it by name, it’s on the “secret” menu.  Also included on that secret menu is a mean-ass shrimp Po-Boy.
2. If you order one, you should eat it in a comfy pair of sweatpants.

Char-Dogs, Bugers (with a striking similarity and taste to an in-N-out burger) and whatever bat-shit, crazy food creations dreamt of.  

Operated by a gaggle of amusing hipsters.

Welcome to the world of Phil Asbach, owner of Phil’s Last Stand.  I could talk all day about how great this place is and but I really, suggest you check it out for yourself.

Trust me, I wouldn't lead you astray.

-WST