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FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY: IT TAKES TWO!

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY

-So anyone remember Sean “X-Pac”Waltman of World Wrestling Federation and World Championship Wrestling fame?

He was in Minneapolis this past weekend for a match against something named Psycho Horace and had him all set up for his patented Bronco Buster, a move where he jumps crotch-first onto an opponent and jumps up and down…

Yeah, I know.

It’s definitely one of those moves that make you go “uhhhhhhh” when you’re older, but when you’re a 12 year-old, it’s the shit.

 Anyway, he kind of missed and tore his anus, yup, tore his anus.  The video doesn’t really do the magnitude of an injury that awful justice but you can clearly tell buddy is a quite a lot of pain.

Waltman was released from the hospital Monday night.  Who says wrestling is fake? 

Don’t know too many guys who will still compete through that AND go through a table.

 Also on Monday, here’s Jim Belushi being a drunk creeper in the “Shoot the Puck” contest during the second intermission of the Blackhawks-Kings game.

I hate Jim Belushi.  He gets free roam of all the teams in town just because he’s John Belushi’s less humorous, less talented, little bro. 

Saw one episode of According to Jim once, shit sucked.  Fucker hasn’t made a good movie since K9 in 89.

TUESDAY

-Speaking of 80’s era Chicago-natives celebrities, Mr. T showed up at the Blackhawks-Flames game the very NEXT night rocking my go-to Sunday Funday outfit.

Laurence Tureaud (government name alert!) was all business. 

He didn’t bother to scope out eye candy Belushi-style and actually nailed one of his shots.

I wouldn’t expect anything less from Clubber Lang.

Also on Tuesday, you really must meet Andrew “Canadian Jordan” Wiggins.  He replaced Duke signee Jabari Parker of Chicago as the #1 prospect in the country after reclassifying from the class of 2014 to his original high school class of 2013.

 Wiggins is 6’8, hails from Toronto, just completed his senior year at West Virginia hoops powerhouse Huntington Prep, and was given his charming nickname by Sports Illustrated last month.

He also enjoys making classmates and opponents look like a group of YMCA youth leaguers...

Obviously every school wants him, but word is he’s leaning towards Kentucky. 

I think he’s just waiting for the check to clear. 

John Calipari and the Wildcats should really set up direct deposit for these youngsters…

WEDNESDAY

            -The United Center has been the place to be the past few days.  Monday was drunk Belushi, Tuesday was Mr T. pitying pucks and on Wednesday, the Bulls and Heat decided to get together for a nice friendly game.  Well until this happened and “Bron Bron” got upset.

Could have been worse, I mean Chris Bosh is still missing and presumed dead.

Then on the way out after a Bulls 101-97 victory, this happened…

Come on dude, you know Bron’s hairline can’t be seen publicly unless it’s the right light, angle, and situation.

Heat will probably still win it all but it was a fun game.

-So this is Jared Veldheer.  He’s a pretty good Offensive Tackle for the Raiders.  This shot was taken during this past season.

Here’s a picture of what he looks like so far this off-season.

Veldheer usually checks in at and his strength coach says he’s up to 325.  That doesn’t look like four pounds of muscle though.

You don’t think? No.  He couldn’t be taking something could he? Nahhhh, I didn’t think so either…

Something is very familiar about his new physique though…

(Courtesy of SBNation)

That’s it!  Tell Mark Ruffalo And Edward Norton to fuck off.  We’ve got ourselves a new Hulk for the Avengers sequel!

THURSDAY

- Manny Ramirez made his debut with the EDA Rhinos in Taiwan’s top league since no one really wants him anymore.

At least the fans were happy to have him…

It’s a shame that’s not Manny Ramirez on the sign. It’s Reds Pitcher Johnny Cueto.

Wrong dreadlocked Dominican, but who cares?

-The WNBA unveiled it’s new logo, what do you think?

Shitty?  Well so is the WNBA. It’s perfect!

FRIDAY

            -I figured the awesomeness of Victor Oladipo combined with Tyler Zeller’s soft, yet, adequate enough for college ass would be able to get Indiana to the National Title and win me the two March Madness pools.  

Instead I'm done thanks to Syracuse. 

I’m not happy about that it either.

Fuck you Syracuse. I actually look forward to North Carolina and even Duke getting in your ass when you move to the ACC next season. 

I also wish your garbage ass Football team nothing but misery. 

I can lose with grace but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’m competitive.  I wanted that pool money!

Marquette can get bent too.  Miami wasn’t supposed to lose until the Elite Eight damn it!!!!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE G.I. JOE: RETALIATION!

            -Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?  It’s certainly not good movies. 

Snitch was terrible, and the only reason I don’t rip G.I. Joe apart is that I don’t have enough time in the day, plus the little kid inside is begging me not to do it. 

Pain and Gain bombs, Dwayne Johnson (second government name alert!) will go 0-3 in movies in three months.

WATCH THE GAME OF THRONES SEASON PREMIRE!

            -I didn’t see the first season, spent half of the second trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and just finished up the first season on Wednesday. 

Turns out it that was a terrible strategy. Now I don’t even remember what happened during the first few episodes of the second season.

Should have gotten on board from jump street.

WATCH THE WALKING DEAD SEASON FINALE!

            -The long anticipated Woodbury-Prison war is ready to meet it’s bloody climax, and word is out that 27 people will die. 

We can only hope Andrea is one of them.  If Daryl Dixon somehow meets his end, expect all hell to break loose in the streets.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to my good friend “U”

 He’s been mentioned in the past and is celebrating his 26^th birthday today so the cronies have been rounded up and we’ll be out this evening.

Enjoy your day buddy!  I’ll see you this evening.

Let’s do it again next week!  Have a safe weekend kids!

-WST

           

A POEM: WHY DID I CHOOSE EXCELLENCE?

Couple things happened in the last 24 hours...

Bulls snapped the Miami Heat's 27-game win streak.  Well done.

Saw G.I. Joe: Retaliation last night.  It was my favorite cartoon show growing up (tie with Doug), so I was really looking forward to some sweet nostalgia.

The Verdict:  entertaining, but I wouldn't be mad if you if you waited until it comes out on DVD, or you buy a copy from the always reliable bootleg man outside of your local Walgreens or gas station.

That's about all you'll hear on either from me today. I'm going to step back for a day and let someone else get some shine.

A reader e-mailed yesterday morning:

"My student, Emmanuel Cullins, was just honored to be on the Superintendent Honor Roll. He is a young African-American Male and he wrote an AMAZING poem about why he chose excellence! I think you should put it in your blog!"

I read Emmanuel's poem about four times and it makes me smile...  

If you read yesterday's post, you KNOW how much I like(need) to smile.  

It's upbeat, its positive and I'm feeling it.  He's a very talented kid and if he keeps up, he''ll be doing big things in a few years.  

In the future, if you have something creative that you want to see put on, or just have a suggestion for a future posts, just hit my inbox.

Without further adieu, here is 13-year old Emmanuel Cullins from Northwest Middle School in Kansas City, Missouri.

Why did I Choose Excellence?

(That is the Question) 

                                                                                    Why did I choose Excellence?

When I could have been a gangster

Why did I choose Excellence?

When I could have been a drug dealer

Why did I choose Excellence?

When I could have been thirteen with a baby

Why did I choose Excellence?

When I could have been one of those dumb jocks you see on TV

Why did choose Excellence?

When I could have let peer pressure get to me

Why did I choose Excellence?

Well here’s why

I chose Excellence because

I wanted to change the world

I chose Excellence because

I wanted to make a difference

I chose Excellence because

I didn’t want to be part of statistics that say I’m not going to graduate.

I chose Excellence because

I wanted to make my parents proud

I choose Excellence because

That’s all I know how to do

Why did I choose Excellence?

That was your question

And now you have your answer

-WST

WEDNESDAY RANT: DAMN YOU HOOD FACE!

So the other night, I’m just chilling, JT’s new “20/20 Experience” in my ears when a rush of quotes from the past couple months start flowing in my head.  All are from various types.

“So are you like the bouncer for the trolley driver?”

“You alright dude? You look pissed off"

“Oh man, my bad, I though you were security!”

“Leave him alone when he gets that look in his eye.”

“You’re a lot cuter when you smile.”

“You all were the most intimidating group of guys ever in High School.”

“So what your story man? We could use a couple dudes like you and your friend working the door at our spot.”

Fuck.

 Opened Pandora’s box, so now I’m thinking about one that really stood out from college and is still on my mind today:

Random Girl: “You know, I was really afraid to talk to you your freshman year…”

Me: “Wait, what? Why?”

Random: “You always looked like you were pissed off when you walked around campus!”

And another…

Rube: “J, that guy wanted to fight you.”

Me: “The hell is his problem?”

Rube: “He thought you were mean-mugging him. I know him though, told him you always look like that.”

I get it.  I’m a big guy.  I’ve gone over that previously.

But do I really look angry at the world when I’m walking down the street?

Started looking at old pics and noticed what I’ve always known…

I really do love my smile.  My smile is one of my few features that I’m admittedly confident, borderline arrogant about.

"Peace sign yeahhh! Need help moving some furniture this weekend?"

Look at that dude!  Bros, isn’t that someone who you want to kick it with?

 Ladies, isn’t that the smile of a man you want to take home to mom and dad?  Pay no attention to the booze in the background.  No clue where it came from.

However, I also noticed that when I don't smile…

"You gonna eat your cornbread?!"

GAHHHHHHHHHH!  I look like I killed someone and I’m just taunting the authorities!!!

Jesus, there’s women who have gone on blind dates with me and were probably freaking out while I listened to them talk…

“HE LOOKS SO PISSED!!  I SHOULD VOMIT IN THE BATHROOM, SAY I GOT FOOD POSIONING AND CALL JEANEATTE TO PICK ME UP!”

Okay, so I guess THAT hasn’t happened yet, I don’t think it has, but that doesn’t mean it CAN’T or eventually WON’T!

So I guess it’s true…

 I, the WST, like millions of other young American males, suffer from Hood Face…

Hood Face isn’t the same as Jerk Face.  Jerk Face is the appearance that you’re annoyed/would rather be anywhere else than the place you’re in. 

Jay Cutler is the master of the Jerk Face

Hood Face isn’t the same as Struggle Face.  You see a lot of struggle face in a lot of athletes/fans anytime a big game is lost. Especially at the collegiate level.

Hood face is a different animal altogether.  Hood face will scare off women, get you in fights for no reason, ruin pictures, and make people around you at work completely uncomfortable.

So I need your help.

 I need readers to dig deep into their pockets deep and contribute to my new WST Eradicate Hood-Face Foundation (EHFF). 

I’m volunteering myself to be the first test subject.  Brave and courageous, I know.

My foundation believes that possessing your money will allow me to smile a lot more and eventually eliminate all traces of my Hood-Face altogether.

You, yes you, could make a difference, and change a life…MY life.

I mean money worked for Ice Cube right?

-WST

TWO THUMBS UP, FOUR THUMBS DOWN TUESDAY! TOURNEY EDITION!

Every Tuesday, I’ll be sharing the little life’s pleasures that make me jump for joy and the terrible, awful things I want to spit on.

Two that earned my love:

1. FLORIDA GULF COAST UNIVERSITY

Sure, they ruined your bracket but I bet you never enjoyed it more.  They’re pretty damn fun to watch.

2. AARON CRAFT!

Cold blooded.  Welcome to March.

Four that earned my scorn:

1. GEORGETOWN!

They underperform every year.  When I see Georgetown in my bracket, I always pick them thinking they're some reincarnation of the Hoyas teams from the 80's and 90's and they're going to step on the court with Dikembe Mutombo, Alonzo Mourning, Patrick Ewing AND Allen Iverson.  Then they lose, and I bang my head against a wall. 

The Hoyas are solely responsible for all the half-ass FGCU Student-Rap videos that have come out in the last three days...

2. MARSHALL HENDERSON!

 GOOD NEWS: He’s crazy, so he’s pretty damn entertaining when he wins.

BAD NEWS: He’s crazy, so he can be a real tool when he loses….

3. NO GUS JOHNSON!

I’m still hung up on the fact that Gus isn’t doing the Tournament.  Imagine how that Craft game winner would have sounded with Gus having one of his patented Gusgasms.

4. YOUR BRACKET AFTER THIS WEEKEND!

I mean it was only 10 or 20 bucks right?

-WST

FIVE PIG-OUT MEALS ON THE NEAR-WEST SIDE!

I love my Neighborhood.  Been a resident for four years this summer.  However, one thing that does kind of annoy me is that it’s a food desert. 

Unless you’re coming from a Bulls or Blackhawks game at the United Center and feel like consuming a heaping portion of regret at the Golden Arches down the street, there aren’t really good places to eat when you want to just say screw it all and smash something tasty.

Well to the untrained eye anyway…

I’ve had time to canvass the entire area are and I found five sinfully delicious foods all less than a mile away from my home on The Near West Side.

5. BIG DUMBASS SLICE OF PIZZA-BACCI PIZZA (2301 W. Taylor Street)

Whenever I feel like having a lot for a little, I jet about half a mile south to the remnants of Chicago’s old Little Italy, where the original Bacci’s still stands proudly.  Today, these purveyors of the pizza have grown from a little mom and pop operation to quite the cash cow with locations all over the city and burbs. 

While they do a pretty decent pie, it’s nothing to write home about (pizza snob). 

However, their ridiculously sized "New York style" pizza slice for the low, low price of $5 (with a pop) is.

 If your eyes are bigger than your stomach, you can save what you don’t eat for later.

Unfortunately, I don’t have that problem…Gone in 60 Seconds isn’t just a movie title in my world.

4. QUARTER/HALF CHICKEN-DINNER-HAROLD’S CHICKEN (1014 S. Western Avenue)

If you don’t know the story of Harold Pierce’s “Harold’s Chicken Shacks,” I’m not sure if I can consider you a real Chicagoan. 

Mr. Pierce moved to Chicago from Freeman, Alabama in 1943 and opened the first Harold’s by 1950.  He franchised the concept to family and friends who opened additional restaurants and today, there are dozens bearing his name on the South and West Sides, as well a few on the North side recently.                                      

Harold’s also has franchises in Detroit, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Las Vegas, Madison, Wisconsin, and the Dallas area.

Now that your minute-history lesson is over, stop by and order the half or quarter chicken dinner meal; you get fries, coleslaw, bread and some of the best damn southern-style fried chicken you’ll ever put in your mouth.     

                                                                                                                                                    Remember to ask for some extra “Mild Sauce."  Seriously, make sure they give it to you, they’re really stingy with it.  Drizzle it on and try not to bite your own fingers off.

3. ITALIAN SUB-GRANDDADDY’S SUBS (2343 W. Taylor Street)

Sometimes Subway, Quizno’s or Jimmy John’s doesn’t cut it.  You want a real, authentic, fresh sandwich. 

If you fall into that category, it would greatly behoove you make that trip back over to Taylor Street (A block from Bacci’s) and visit Granddaddy’s Subs for lunch.

They’re cranking out trip-your-sibling good subs and sandwiches with quality ingredients, but you need to try the Italian; capicola, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, no mayo, little oil& vinegar, topped with homemade Giardiniera relish. 

Damn! Molto Buono!

2. THE JUMPBALL-MOON’S SANDWICH SHOP (16 S. Western.)

If there was ever a time to never judge a book by it’s cover, it’s with Moon’s Sandwich Shop. 

The place is well passed closed when suburbanites pass it on Western Avenue en route to Bulls/Blackhawks games in the evening.

During the day, it looks like a piece of shit from the outside.  Just another building that won’t be there in 10 years when gentrification takes the rest of the neighborhood.

If they only knew…

Moon’s is a legendary small breakfast-lunch counter that opened in 1933 and has lasted through time.  They have the usual Hamburger, Hot Dog fare, but specialize in two things...

 Corned Beef Sandwiches and Breakfast.  And I really like Breakfast.

My favorite is the Jumpball Scramble; italian sausage, 3 eggs, onions, cheese and potatoes mixed together and served with toast.  It will chase any hangover away like a wife who just caught her man cheating.

Moon’s is only open to 3 p.m. and gets packed on weekends, so anytime the fellas drop in for a game or all-day Sunday Funday, we usually have them deliver.  Never mind that’s it’s only a four block walk.

1.     PHIL’S SPECIAL-PHIL’S LAST STAND (2258 W. Chicago Avenue)

Beautiful Chaos is the only word I have to describe what you see above…

What you’re looking at is a jumbo polish sausage sliced down the middle and stuffed with a charred-hot dog, topped with mustard, grilled onions, and cheddar cheese, then TOPPED with homemade salami mac&cheese, and TOPPED again with more grilled onions!

Two things you should know about the Phil’s Special…

1. Ask for it by name, it’s on the “secret” menu.  Also included on that secret menu is a mean-ass shrimp Po-Boy.
2. If you order one, you should eat it in a comfy pair of sweatpants.

Char-Dogs, Bugers (with a striking similarity and taste to an in-N-out burger) and whatever bat-shit, crazy food creations dreamt of.  

Operated by a gaggle of amusing hipsters.

Welcome to the world of Phil Asbach, owner of Phil’s Last Stand.  I could talk all day about how great this place is and but I really, suggest you check it out for yourself.

Trust me, I wouldn't lead you astray.

-WST

BRIAN'S SONG 2: BYE BYE URLACHER

It was November 5, 2000.

I was a freshman in High School, fresh off my first year playing Football.

They say that you really find out if you like playing Football judging by how you react the first time you get hit and/or the first time you hit someone.

Well I had been hit and I had given out some and I loved it.  No clue why mom wouldn’t let me play until this point…

Well I do know, because she’s a mom and moms don’t want their babies to get hurt playing Football.  Doesn’t even matter if it’s their baby who will do most of the hurting.

Anyway, I was doing my homework in the kitchen, poking my head up every two minues to stare at the TV because the Bears were playing the Indianapolis Colts.

I can’t tell you many details about that game.  I remember the Bears coming back to win against a pretty good Colts team. 

 I had to Wikipedia it just to remember the final score (27-24 Bears).

However, there is one play in particular that I’ve always recalled where a young Peyton Manning throws a dart to Marvin Harrison over the middle and poor Marvin turns his head just in time to see him coming but it’s still too late…

That size, that speed, that strength, that rookie Urlacher blasted the shit out of him!  De-cleated his ass.

A few weeks later when my folks asked me what I asked for Christmas.  Before video games for my Playstation 1, before some new clothes from ECKO or FUBU, before a Playstation 2, the first thing came out of my mouth was a Navy-Blue Brian Urlacher Jersey.

Playing Football made me love playing.  
                                                                                                                                                      Watching Urlacher made me love the Bears, and become enamored with the game.

Until #54 came along, it wasn’t really cool to be a Bears Fan growing up in my generation…

I was 5 months old when the “Super Bowl Shuffling” Bears won it all in 85.  I was only two when Walter Payton retired in 87.  Six when Ditka was fired in 92. 

Everything I know about them, I learned from my father, read, or watched in order to know the history.

Before High School, I was more of a Basketball and Baseball type.  I had played both since I age seven and grew up watching #23 with the Bulls and Frank Thomas with the White Sox.

The Bears meanwhile, were rough to watch from 92-99. They only made the playoffs once during that span and were atrocious.

 They had a couple good players like Chris Zorich, Erik Kramer, Curtis Conway and Mike Carrier, but a lot more who were just bums…

Guys who were known more for being busts, assholes or just plain crazy than anything they did on the field: Stan Thomas, Alonzo Spellman, Rashaan Salaam, Curtis Enis, Cade McNown.

With Urlacher, Chicago had a marquee player again. 

He was a badass; this 6’4, 260-pound monster with the speed of a damn Gazelle, rocking a bald-dome and a barbed wire tattoo back when barbed wire tattoos were fashionable.

He finished out 2000 by winning Defensive Rookie of the Year and making the Pro Bowl.

By my sophomore year in 2001, half the kids at school had an Urlacher Jersey and you couldn’t rock it anywhere outside of Chicago without someone coming up to you and mentioning how sick he was.

The Bears still had down years, mostly due to the organization’s ineptness to put a coherent offense on the field, but fans knew the team still had somewhat of a chance with #54 manning the middle.

Then he won defensive player of the year in 2005 and lead a defense that got the Bears back to the playoffs.

Followed it up the next year by finally getting the Bears to the Super Bowl but again, the team’s offense couldn’t help finish the job against the Manning led Colts.

Fuck you very much Rex Grossman and Cedric Benson…

Time stops for no man, Urlacher got older, slower, got more injuries but still managed to stay at high level due to his Football IQ.

I got older, smarter (some say) and decided that if I’m going to be a fan, I want to be an educated fan.  Not some jackass calling into the local radio station to spurt nonsense.

And while the Bears now stand alone on the pecking order of my favorite teams, I also understand and am not blind to what has always been…

The NFL is a business.  You aren’t paid for what you’ve done; you’re paid for what you’re going to do.

I don’t blame Brian Urlacher for not taking the two year, $2 million dollar contact that the Bears offered him this week.  He feels he’s worth more than that?  Good.  He should.

However, with the arrival of General Manager Phil Emery and Head Coach Marc Trestman, word is out that they’re in the business of trying to win Football games.

And paying a 34 year-old aging linebacker with a diminished skill set more than what they’ve offered doesn’t make sense business wise when that money could be used to address other needs.

I don’t blame the organization for doing what many realize but no one wants to do: admitting that his best days are behind him and standing firm on their offer.

So today the city of Chicago celebrates a great 13-year career and says thanks for the memories.

Oh, and even if he does catch on with another team, he’ll always be a Bear to that freshman doing homework on a Fall Sunday afternoon.

-WST