MONDAY
-And now for your viewing pleasure, Sir Elton John falling out of a chair at some fucking tennis thing.
-And now for your viewing pleasure, Sir Elton John falling out of a chair at some fucking tennis thing.
B-B-B-Bennie and my bac-WOAH!
-Speaking of celebs from across the pond...
Prince William: "Hey, if we combine our heads, we could could possibly come up with a FULL set of hair mate!"
TUESDAY
-Cam Newton escaped a scary ass car crash with two fractures in his back.
-Cam Newton escaped a scary ass car crash with two fractures in his back.
You know what's scarier? Seeing this guy take over the snaps....
DEREK ANDERSON?! YESSHHHHH!!!! Might as well start the play 60 kid.
-Buffalo Sabres Center Zemgus Girgensons is on track to the tart the NHL All-Star game with 82% of his 803, 805 votes coming from his home country of Latvia.
And no, Americans, Latvia is a real country and not some kind of potato pancake. Those would be Latkes.
WEDNESDAY
-Breaking News: Russell Wilson enjoys porn just like the rest of us!
WARNING: NSFW!!!!!!!!
Won't someone think of the children?! How are you going to explain this to your kids when they ask why football Jeter would favorite a pic of a lady eating a little black baby's arm?!
-Cory Jefferson...why?
Pass the ball eh? Hell outta here. There is no reason this shot should exist. Yet there it is.
THURSDAY
-England's Amir Khan (Brit heavy this week I know) will be rocking the world's expensive most shorts when he dons this pair with a 24-karat waistband for his welterweight bout this weekend against American Devon Alexander.
The shorts carry a value of $47,000. That means he better not get knocked out or he may wake up with that bitch missing.
But fuck all that shit right now...
College Football playoffs are all set and for the most part, everyone is satisfied.
You got the Atlantic, Midwest, South and Pacific all represented and yours truly is especially happy as it's supposed to finally mark the end to the annual whine-campaign that occurs when a perfect (or near-perfect) team gets spurned for a chance at the National Championship.
Unless of course, you live in Texas.
Looking at you Baylor...
And laughing maniacally at you TCU...
Fans, players and coaches for both teams have been bitching all week. Not to mention complaints from Michigan State and Mississippi State.
Now the booyah network, instigators that they are, have already rolled out this crock of shit before the bowl season even starts.
So let me end this debate once and for all...
Michigan and Mississippi State...both these teams have two losses. If you're a fan of either and crying that they don't get a place at the big boy table, sit the fuck down and shut the hell up while grown folks are talking. End of conversation.
Now where was I? Oh yes...
Baylor & TCU...did you each lose a in-conference game? Yes.
Ohio State didn't. And I HATE Ohio State. Everyone does.
Baylor & TCU...did either of you beat the #1 team in the nation? No.
Alabama did. Nick Saban obviously has made a pact with Satan but they did.
Baylor & TCU...did you go undefeated? No.
Florida State did...two straight seasons in fact! Even with a walking mugshot at QB.
Baylor & TCU...did either of you win your conference championship game?
OHHHHH YOUR CONFERENCE DOESN'T HAVE A CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME????? I'M SOWWYWYYY!!!!
Guess who does though? Oregon, and they DOMINATED theirs. They were probably all high as hell by halftime.
So Baylor and TCU fans, enjoy your jabroni-ass New Years Eve/Day games, eat a Whataburger and better luck next year, you fucking yokels.
-Someone isn't too pleased with his new uniform...
Again, we gotta think about the youth out here man. Don't do this to them.
FRIDAY
-The 4-20 Knicks took to Instagram as part of a campaign to drum up votes for anyone named Carmelo Anthony as they'll be hosting the 2015 All-Star game in February.
The fan response was exactly what you'd expect for a 4-20 team that apparently hates each other.
Isn't "rebuilding" fun Phil Jackson?!
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…
SEE EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS!
Hey it's Batman...and that guy from Great Gatsby playing Moses and Ramses! So you know it'll be awful.
SEE TOP FIVE!
I happen to be a sort of Chris Rock disciple. That means I'll see almost anything the dude cranks out, plus the the movie is loaded with my favorite comedians. Throw in the fact Rosario Dawson does it for me and I'm sold.
WATCH THE U PART 2!
The Miami Hurricanes are back! Director Billy Corgan documents the team's rise and fall in the late 90's and early 2000's including the 2001 National Championship team loaded with future pro players.
Hey it's Batman...and that guy from Great Gatsby playing Moses and Ramses! So you know it'll be awful.
SEE TOP FIVE!
I happen to be a sort of Chris Rock disciple. That means I'll see almost anything the dude cranks out, plus the the movie is loaded with my favorite comedians. Throw in the fact Rosario Dawson does it for me and I'm sold.
WATCH THE U PART 2!
The Miami Hurricanes are back! Director Billy Corgan documents the team's rise and fall in the late 90's and early 2000's including the 2001 National Championship team loaded with future pro players.
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout-out to Pro Football's new favorite little asshole Johnny Manziel (sorry Jay Cutler).
#15 on Drake's best friend list celebrated his 23rd Birthday last weekend with a $600 "Moneybags" cake.
As for his birthday beats or punches?
He'll be getting plenty of those this Sunday with his first NFL career start against the Bengals. A team with a number of large men who wouldn't mind sitting on Johnny Football's head. Enjoy!
I'm out. You got any plastic wrap man?
-WST
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