All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should.
Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
-Nuggets
Center JaVale McGee is kind of known for his entertaining, yet, moronic antics
on the court.
So did you think he’d be any different off it?
-Have you heard of Anastasia
Ashley? She’s a 26 year-old pro
surfer who has a how should I say it? NICE way of warming up before
competitions…
TUESDAY
-Some drunk broad jumped into the
fountains at Kauffman Stadium during the Royals 13-0 win against the Twins…
Worst wet t-shirt contest ever. I knew there was a reason I’ve always avoided Kansas
City. Oh, and I hope both camera
guys choke on pieces of brisket.
-Shot at bowling a 300! Come on Troy Walker!
Listen to that, put the whole blame on himself. You’re a
great sportsman buddy, but FUCK AND THAT. If that’s yours truly, someone is
marking me down for a strike or at least giving me free bowling alley nachos for
life.
I know one guy
who would be getting that perfect game…
WEDNESDAY
-Oh
shit, BEAR ON A MOTHER-FUCKING SEA-DOO!
He’s about to CRUSH all the she-bear sniz tonight!
-Jazz Center Enes Kanter went fishing for the first time with Karl Malone...
It’s never good when your day’s catch is smaller than
Malone’s draft day tie.
THURSDAY
-Children Beware: Kevin Durant
doesn’t care how much money Mommy and Daddy paid for you to attend his
camp. You think he’s going to cut
your little punk-ass some slack?
DURANTULA TERRORIZE!!!!!
Packed that shit like he’s taking a vacation! Don’t like it? Buy a puppy.
-Look at this fan make this diving catch only for his face to make love to the
wall during a class-A Dayton Dragons game…
Magnificent grab though. Only cost him a couple teeth.
FRIDAY
-This Jason Sudeikis bit for NBC sports is probably funnier than Meet the Millers.
If you see that shit, I promise I'll be waiting for you when you get home holding a tube sock filled with bar soap.
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re
not drunk or doing something better…
SEE ELYSIUM!
-In
Dystopian Earth 2154, Matt Damon plays some sick dude trying to reach the
orbiting space station Elysium in search of the medical technology needed for
his survival. Shit won’t matter if
he doesn’t have insurance though.
SEE PLANES!
-Same
concept as Cars! Your kids won’t
care though, and you’ll shell out $30 dollars to take the whole family to the
theatre. Afterwards, Disney and
Pixar will continue to bleed your wallet as you’ll spend the next calendar year
buying toys, lunch boxes, pajamas and other shitty merchandise featuring a main
character who’s only difference is that he’s a shitty plane as opposed to a
shitty car.
WATCH NFL PRESEASON!
-Who
cares if that Quarterback getting the bulk of playing time will be working the
day shift at your local mall’s Jamba Jucie in a few weeks? Football is here!
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout-out to Belize! By now you know (since I won’t shut-up about the shit) I am two days
removed from a week-long trip to the country of my mother’s birth and it was a
great time. Thanks to all my
family who made it memorable.
Plus look at the country’s flag up there; black dude with a club...Latin guy with an ax. Both wearing capoeira pants. Who’s fucking with that flag? NOBODY.
Shout-out to Brandon Moore! Moore, a Gary, Indiana native and University of Illinois
alum announced his retirement earlier this week after 10 NFL seasons, all with
the Jets.
The WST would like to recognize Moore for his most
memorable NFL moment: As the ass
that caused Mark Sanchez's epic failure of a fumble last season on Thanksgiving against
the Patriots.
Thanks for your contributions Brandon and
best of luck in all future endeavors.
That’s a wrap (short week I know). Back Monday with five full days of well…nonsense.
-WST
No comments:
Post a Comment