10. MR. RESPONSIBLE
SITUATION: You’re faded at a pub-crawl or concert.
BIO: He’ll take one for the team while also making sure you
didn’t lose your wallet, keys, or phone before inviting the girls back to HIS
place. He’ll even call a cab to
get you and that pretty young thing home or let you sleep on his couch if you
strike out.
SPORTS UNIVERSE COMPARISON: Derek Fisher (PG-Okalahoma City
Thunder)
9. TOTAL DICK
SITUATION: You need
a Neutralizer.
BIO: Time to fight fire with fire. If girls
are going to bring along that one attack-dog type friend to make things difficult
for suitors, men should invite T.D.
He’s rude, arrogant, obnoxious and JUST the person to counter the buffer by meeting her on low ground. Who
knows? In a strange and frightening way, they’ll probably end up being really into
each other.
SPORTS UNIVERSE COMPARISON: PATRICK KANE (Right Wing-Chicago
Blackhawks)
8. REAL TALK
SITUATION: A reality-check is necessary.
BIO: Trying too hard? Making an ass of
yourself? Maybe she's just not into you? Real Talk will let you know and suggest you abort to save some kind of
face. Got to be 100% honest with
your friend’s right?
SPORTS UNIVERSE COMPARISON: CHARLES BARKLEY (Analyst-Inside the
NBA)
7. THE POINT GUARD
SITUATION: You’re on
a Grouper Date.
BIO: He could “win” all by himself but
he gets his kicks from distributing and dishing out assists. Rest assured he's going to put
you on and make you look GOOD!
SPORTS WORLD COMPARISON: Chris
Paul (PG-L.A. Clippers)
6. SUPER-FAN
SITUATION: You go to a game.
BIO: All-around fun guy to be around; he has the hook ups for the best seats.
Capable of teaching any confused cuties the X’s and O’s of the game. Likes to give random hi-fives and scream LETS GO!!!
SPORTS WORLD COMPARISON: “Fireman”
Ed Anzalone (Die-Hard Fan-New York Jets)
5. TOUGH-ASS
SITUATION: You’re at a frat party and not in the frat. Anytime shit gets dicey.
BIO: It is the
opinion of this writer that two men should never get into a pissing-match over
a woman but we’re humans, shit happens and sometimes those verbal arguments
get physical…always good to have someone watching your back just in case.
SPORTS WORLD COMPARISON Arn “The Enforcer” Anderson (Hall of
Fame Pro Wrestler)
4. BROETTE
SITUATION:
You need a female perspective.
BIO: A luxury not every man can afford, they’re
ladies with guy tendencies including the capability to converse on
male-driven topics such as sports, video games, gambling, booze, sex, comics,
even Steven Seagal movies.
The Broette usually tends to be that one girl from your youth who always liked to run with the boys but there are exceptions. Either way, if you need insight on
the inner workings of the female mind, look no further.
SPORTS WORLD COMPARISON: ERIN ANDREWS
3. SEND IN THE CLOWN
SITUATION: You’re at a house party or BBQ.
BIO: An entertainer
through and through; he’s going to come into the outing and take it over just
because he can. It’s not that he’s not serious at times; he just believes
laughter is an instant vacation from the norm. He knows girls are into a guy who can make them giggle.
SPORTS WORLD COMPARISON: Chad Johnson (Former WR-Cincinnati
Bengals)
2. WILD CARD
SITUATION: Bachelor parties. Vegas.
BIO: Sometimes you just wanna get
nuts. This is the man who’s willing to take that journey with you from the
first drink to the next day when you wake up on the floor with a Chalupa in
your back pocket. Whatever you’re trying to do, he’s down to do it. Could be a long night…
SPORTS UNIVERSE COMPARISON: John McEnroe (Former World No.1
Tennis Pro)
1. PROFESSOR SMOOTH
SITUATION: ANY.
BIO: Usually you're HIS wingman to since
it’s no secret he’s a lady-killer. If he’s doing you a favor and playing Scottie
to your Michael, he’ll be organized and in sync with you the whole
way. Just make sure the girl
you’re talking to doesn’t switch up gears and fall for him instead.
SPORTS UNIVERSE COMPARISON: Derek Jeter (Shortstop-New York Yankees)
-WST
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