FULL CIRLCE FRIDAY: AIR FORCE ONES!!!!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-All kinds of bullshit...

That boys and girls....is what 8-bits of heart break looks like.

-Black Monday in Pro Football...

THAT MEANS EVERYONE IS FIRED!!!!  SHANAHAN!  CHUDZINSKI (who?)!  FRAZIER!  SCHWARTZ! SCHIANO!  GOOD LUCK WITH ALL FUTURE ENDEAVORS BOYS AND EAT SHIT!

I think I enjoyed the Shanny firing the most.  I imagine the exchange between Robert Griffin III and Redskins owner Dan Snyder went something like...

RGIII:  So is coach fired?

SNYDER: Yup...

RGIII:  HEY COACH! IMMA KICK YO ASS LATER!

TUESDAY

-Did I miss something or did Glen Davis change his nickname to "Big Dick Baby" while nobody was watching the Magic?

You never wanna get bodied by a Big Dick Baby.  ever.

-Happy New Year From Carmelo Anthony!

Hope you find everything you're looking for in 2014 Melo...and that includes a new team.

WEDNESDAY

-HOLY SHIT THE WINTER CLASS LOOKS PRETTY SWEET!

Not gonna lie, I kind of wished I was in Ann Arbor for that until I realized I could get the same effect playing this outside...

-Michigan State beats Stanford in the Rose Bowl (yay, a Big Ten team that doesn't blow!) and they brought along Atlanta Rapper Rich Homie Quan!

Head Coach Mike D'Antonio totally has that "I still don't know who the hell you are, but my players love you" look. Anyway, it's time to party with the Spartans so for the first (and last time this year)....TURN UP!<----Destroy this word NOW!

Even the old folks at the end are getting kind of live. Michigan State will beat you on the field AND the dance floor.

THURSDAY

Oklahoma beats Alabama in the Sugar Bowl 45-31 and unhappy Katherine Webb is still smoking.  Nick Saban will spend numerous nights awake in bed this off-season wondering how the hell this team went from driver's seat for another National Title to getting dicked like a French Quarter hooker during Mardi Gras but fuck all that shit right now...

The NFL season ended for my favorite team last Sunday (I'm a pretty rabid Chicago Bears fan if you hadn't noticed).

This means I don't have anything for my weekends to revolve around and I actually have to go out and be social since you know, I don't have a neglected wife or kids to worry about like the average Football bro in my age range.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still watch the postseason and Super Bowl but at this point, I'm just a neutral observer without a real rooting interest and that's the WORST.

I don't want to "adopt" a team to cheer for through the playoffs because only d-bags do that and I'd rather just hate on all of them since I'm petty like that.

Here goes...

-Seahawks are the most complete team, which means they'll find a way to blow it, keeping Seattle the rain-filled depressing city it should be.

-Colin Kaepernick is a fraud with a nose so big, he can smell me talking shit about him right now.  He also did a commercial for awful McDonald's Chicken Wings  where his performance was trumped by Joe Flacco...again

-Kansas City is full of mouthbreathers and terrible when they play anyone above .500 unless their defense scores five TD's to cover for the inept offense.

-The Saints have the fatter of the two Ryan brothers and he's not allowed to win a damn thing.  Every time I see Drew Brees sleeping peacefully in that Nyquil ad, I wanna hit him with a sock full of quarters.

-The Packers defense is more suspect than O.J. in the cutlery section of Macy's.  Eddie Lacy will probably be out of the league in four years cause he runs with the recklessness of a Rhino on cocaine.

-Peyton Manning has RoboCop neck and was named Sports Illustrated's 2013 "Sportsman of the Year" despite any noteworthy achievement outside of throwing a bunch of TD's and going one and done in last season's playoffs. Wes Welker is a sawed-off dipshit who I hope gets Old Spice body wash in his eye.

-Andrew Luck looks like a overgrown troll that probably would do your taxes if you asked him.  Did I mention that the Indianapolis front office let the BROWNS dupe them in that Trent Richardson trade?

-Phillip Rivers is a bible-thumping redneck and Ryan Mathews actually made it through a season without sucking so you know he's due to jag.  Manti Te'o is also on San Diego and rumor is he's already on his 10th imaginary girlfriend.

-Philly is just aching for someone to solve their gimmick offense.  DeSean Jackson hangs out with the "ohhhhh kill em" kid, who I'm almost certain is really a 26-year-old midget.  BTW, why would a grown-ass man, let alone a professional football coach still allow himself to go by "Chip?"  This isn't the Freshman mixer at Brown.  This isn't a Leave It to Beaver rerun.  Your name is Charles...Charles Kelly dammit!

-Cam Newton claims he's changed, but everyone knows he's still a tool and their team is coached by a guy nicknamed "Chico"who will be fired after they play a real schedule in 2014.  

-Cincinnati is an abomination of a city that had race-riots in fucking 2001.  Andy Dalton looks like a firey-haired ventriloquist dummy.  Worst season of Hard Knocks ever.

-Tom Brady's receivers consist of Julian Edelman, something called Aaron Dobson, Kenbrell Thompkins a.k.a. the worst fantasy sleeper pick ever (thanks Yahoo! ya d-bags) and some fan who only goes by "Sully" from Boston's Charlestown neighborhood.

Screw all these teams and whichever pair make it to the Super Bowl; enjoy freezing your asses off in New York in February.  I hope Bane shows up to implode it.

Ok I feel better...

-Thunder players hang out...

Kendrick Perkins gets pissed because he didn't get a invite...

I dunno Perk maybe because you walk around looking like this all the time...

Hood face may get you respect on the court, but it doesn't win you any friends big guy.

FRIDAY

-Lebron looks like a badass even when he leaves skid marks.  Not those kind...you sick bastard.  These...

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH THE NFL WILD-CARD GAMES!

That fact that a couple of these games almost got blacked-out locally makes me wanna do the "Carlton Dance" with a shit-eating grin.

PUT OFF NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

Oh, you're going to lose 50 pounds?  I support you 100%....right after you go grab a little snack....just one more time...

New Year, old you.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out to James Avery!  Avery (top left for the uninformed) passed away New Years day at the age of 65 and was known to millions of Millennials as the stern, yet lovable Uncle Phil on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

R.I.P.

That's a wrap.  The Well-Spoken Token  is one year strong and looking to keep on rolling.  Thanks for your support and be careful in those streets.

-WST