All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
Okalahoma State enthusiasm<Turkey leg enthusiasm
-Nashville dusts Toronto with American players scoring all four goals. How do you celebrate such an amazing feat of patriotism? Well…HIT THE MUSIC!
Your country thanks you Predators. You've defended our way of life.
TUESDAY
-Unfortunately this sign failed to make it onto College Game day…
It’s a shame too because on a show filled with many outrageous messages, this could make an argument for most accurate.
-Meet Boston College RB Andre Williams…he’s invincible. No, like really invincible. Fucking Mario Star invincible!
And when he’s not doing that, he’s straight crushing world eight and whipping Bowser’s ass.
WEDNESDAY
-Old-school QB photo shoot!
Way to not throw the ball there Johnny Unitas...dick. Might as well have taken that pic with your eyes closed too.
-Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish readers and friends! To celebrate, here’s a bunch of tall (mostly) Black guys singing “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.”
Can a brother get a Latke though? Those things are fire!
THURSDAY
-Thanksgiving Football! Lions beat up on something resembling the Green Bay Packers 40-10. The Cowboys spotted the Raiders an early 21-7 lead (because they’re the Cowboys) but came back to win 31-24 and despite Mike Tomlin’s best defensive efforts, the Raves held on to beat the Steelers 22-20 but fuck all that right now….
Last week, a friend of mine invited me to her “Friendsgiving” party (white people have done it again!) so I showed up with a couple pies to smash because unless you have no soul, you should never show up to a party empty handed.
I decided to go up the back stairwell of her apartment and apparently I either had a lot on my mind or I’m just a dumb ass and went one floor too many up...
I open the back door and there’s some young dude sitting in his kitchen drinking a beer in a Steelers shirt…
I open the back door and there’s some young dude sitting in his kitchen drinking a beer in a Steelers shirt…
ME: “Oh, shit! I’m sorry man; I meant to go one floor down…”
HIM: “It’s all good buddy, they having a party down there? Have fun!”
Pretty nice guy for the situation and it’s a good thing too because three things crossed my mind during this exchange:
- If he had been 30 years older…he would have shot my black ass before I had a chance to speak.
- The aftermath would create a shitstorm. People would say I was just trying to eat pie and I’m an innocent, good dude. Then the media and Tea Party would dig deeper and discover every awful thing I’ve ever done. The guy would say I was trying to break in, he feared for his life and acted in self-defense. Trial goes down, he goes free. People lose it. Mass riots everywhere. Chaos. Anarchy.
- If he had shot me, the pies would go to waste and I just paid $19.50 apiece for these tasty fuckers.
-
Untangle that. I dare you.
FRIDAY
-Mississippi State’s Bulldog mascot was injured yesterday when he was run over by an ESPN Golf Cart.
Rough week for man’s best friend...
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…
SHOP ON BLACK FRIDAY!
-Saving 20% isn’t worth a broken arm. But I’m a bitch about holiday shopping so to each their own.
PUT UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!
-Oh wait…most of you sick FREAKS did that the day after Halloween. You people need help.
WATCH THE IRON BOWL!
-The annual battle between the worst State in the nation’s marquee universities presents the last realistic chance for a Crimson Tide loss. SPOILER: THEY WON’T!
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout Out to NFL PARITY!
Look at that chart…you won’t find that in any other sport baby. Nobody is dominant. It’s so beautiful and I feel like it’s glowing.
That’s a wrap! Thank you for your continued support of the Well-Spoken Token. Enjoy your day off (if you have to work, that really blows) and eat some more. Til next time peeps.
-WST
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