NBA (FOOD) PLAYOFFS: WESTERN CONFERENCE (OPENING ROUND)

The NBA playoffs start Saturday and while there’s sure to be a little drama involved, its safe to say barring injury, the Heat are almost certain to end up facing either the Thunder or Spurs in the finals. 

Due to this, I’ve decided to make it interesting and pick my winners based off the foods that each city is known for. This morning, I went through the first round match-ups in the east, now it’s time for the wild, wild, west!

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1.) COUNTRY-FRIED STEAK (OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER) VS. 8) LEAN/PURPLE DRANK (HOUSTON ROCKETS)

THE STORY OKC: 

Oklahoma City is one of two cities in the playoffs that I’ve never visited and frankly, if you ever find me there, it would be for one of these three reasons: 1.) I’m stranded. 2. )Someone offered me a lot of money to be there 3.) I’m there to toss Kevin Durant in my trunk and bring him to the Bulls.

Anyway, I read somewhere that Oklahomans take their Country-Fried Steak very seriously and there’s a pretty good one at Ann’s Chicken Fry on Nw 39^th St. so I guess that’s their representative. 

Never really tried country-fried steak until the cafeteria in college and the shit was awful. However I give it the benefit of the doubt and blame it on my alma mater's kitchen staff.

Features: Steak, breading, gravy, served with biscuits, mashed potatoes or corn.

THE STORY HOUSTON:

Hey, it’s the OTHER city I’m not really familiar with.  Only time I’ve step foot in H-Town was for a connecting flight at the airport. Not really familiar what they’re known for…

Then again, if there’s anything the region's Rap scene taught me, it’s that Houston Hard Hitters seem to really enjoy two things: Shrimp from Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen, and sipping lean, drank, syrup, barre, purp, sizzurp, Texas tea.  Say hello to the only drink entry everyone...

You have to be a pretty dumb son of a bitch to drink lean. The shit will slow your heart rate down…that’s NOT appealing to me.  

Interesting that the three guys who rapped the most about it, DJ Screw, Big Moe and Pimp C from UGK all DIED from sipping too much of it.   Johnny Jolly from the Green Bay Packers ruined his career trying to slang it, and it’s more than likely the cause of those “seizures” Lil Wayne suffered from last month. 

Features: Sprite, Jolly Ranchers, Promethazine-codeine prescription-grade cough syrup.

THE VERDICT:  Not messing with lean. COUNTRY-FRIED STEAK WINS BY DEFAULT

4.) ROSCOE’S CHICKEN & WAFFLES (L.A. CLIPPERS) VS. 5.) CORKY’S BBQ (MEMPHIS GRIZZLES)

THE STORY L.A. CLIPPERS:

The Clippers and Chicken & Waffles were meant for each other because they’ve traveled similar roads… 

Both toiled in obscurity for a number of years only to just up, and explode into the mainstream recently. I had the pleasure of dining at Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles in L.A. a few years back and have vowed not to touch another establishment’s C&W since.

Features: American waffle, maple syrup, chicken breast/wing/leg.

THE STORY MEMPHIS: 

28 years in business, voted best BBQ in Memphis 22 times?  Damn, Corky’s is putting in that work.  I’m sure Grizzles Big Men Zach Randolph (Fat Eddie Winslow) and Marc Gasol have paid a fair share of visits.  In fact, those are probably their plates…

Features: “Wet” or “Dry” Ribs, BBQ pulled pork sandwiches/nachos.

THE VERDICT: This one was really tough but after you dip a piece of that tender Roscoe’s chicken in the syrup, the decision isn’t that hard after all…ROSCOE’S TO THE NEXT ROUND!

2.) TEX-MEX (SAN ANTONIO SPURS) VS. 7.) PINK’S HOT DOGS (L.A. LAKERS)

THE STORY SAN ANTONIO:

San Antone is a hot bed for Mexican Food and Rosario’s Mexican Café and Cantina is about as old and reliable as the Spurs roster. Great Food, Colorful setting, beautiful local works of art and a Margarita that will have seeing double. The Antojitos (white fish, red onions, jalapeños, lime juice) are quite baller!

Features: Ceviche, chorizo quesadillas, poblano chicken.

THE STORY L.A. LAKERS:

Pink’s is well known and pretty glitzy due to the amount of movie stars and various celebrities that frequent it just like the team it represents.

 If you ever feel like a Polish Sausage with nacho cheese, American cheese, guacamole, onions and chopped tomatoes (Ozzy Osbourn’s Spicy dog), or a 10-inch dog topped with mustard, onions, chilli and sauerkraut (Rose O’Donnell’s Long Island dog), Pink’s is a must.

Features: Customized hot dogs, burgers, onion rings.

THE VERDICT: I like Pink’s, but I have a serious thing for great Mexican Food and that Margarita is legit.  TEX-MEX GOES TO THE SEMIS!

3.) ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS (DENVER NUGGETS) VS. 6.) R&G LOUNGE’S PEKING DUCK (GOLDEN STATE NUGGETS)

THE STORY DENVER:

I could have gone with Coors I suppose, but I've have actually tried Rocky Mountain Oysters and it was well…an experience.

Features: Bull testicles, breading, cocktail sauce, lemon wedge, and hot sauce (use lots).

THE STORY GOLDEN STATE:

San Francisco/Oakland Bay area kills it in the Asian food department.  Chinese, Sushi, Thai but the best spot for Cantonese Food is R&G Lounge with their Peking Duck & Dumplings.  The roasted duck is so crisp, so tender and it’s even better when you put it into one of the dumplings that’s sweet as a Stephan Curry three-pointer.

Features: Whole roast duck, sweet dumplings.

THE VERDICT: Rocky Mountains...never again!  PEKING DUCK ALL DAY! 

So the Western Conference Food Semis for next Thursday look like:

One-seeded Oklahoma City Country-Fried Steak facing off against L.A. Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles…

While two-seeded San Antonio Tex-Mex faces the sixth-seed, Bay Area Peking Duck.  WHOOOOOO, THAT COULD BE WAR!!!

-WST

NBA (FOOD) PLAYOFFS: EASTERN CONFERENCE (OPENING ROUND)

The match-ups are all set and the NBA Playoffs begin Saturday.  While there’s sure to be a little drama involved, its safe to say barring injury, the Heat are almost certain to end up facing either the Thunder or Spurs in the finals. 

Due to this, I’ve decided to make it interesting and pick my winners based off the foods that each city is known for.  First up is the Eastern Conference with the West to follow later this afternoon.  Let’s get into it!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1.) Cuban Sandwich (Miami Heat) VS. 8) Cheese Curds (Milwaukee Bucks)

THE STORY MIAMI:

Have you BEEN to the “Little Havana” section of the 305?  If I hadn’t of picked the Cuban, I’d have over a dozen Tony Montana wannabees at my door ready to introduce me to their “little friend” and that’s not my scene.

FEATURES: Cuban Bread, ham, roasted pork, Swiss cheese, pickles and mustard.

THE STORY MILWAUKEE:

It would have been easy to put Bratwurst up but anyone can make a damn brat.  However, I’ll give the freaks up North credit; they fry up some quality cheese balls over at Milwaukee Brat House. Yes, I know they're called “Cheese Curds” but the natives get irritated if you refer to them as cheese balls and I’ll never pass up an opportunity to piss someone from Wisconsin off.

FEATURES: Melted Cheddar, Grease.

THE VERDICT:  I’m sorry, but I’ll take a torta over a trumped up ham & cheese sandwich any day and let me know when it develops the hangover healing powers of Cheddar.  UPSET!!!! CHEESE CURDS MOVE ON!

4.) ‘NATHAN’S FAMOUS’ HOTDOGS (BROOKLYN NETS) VS. 5.) DEEP DISH PIZZA (CHICAGO BULLS)

THE STORY BROOKLYN:

You know that Hot Dog eating contest ESPN televises every 4th of July that the Japanese and skinny white guys usually dominate?  None other than Nathan’s Famous. 

Nathan’s started in 1916 in the Coney Island section of the borough, and had Brooklyn standing up long before the Dodgers, Jackie Robinson, Jay-Z, Hipsters or the Nets made it mainstream.

Features: Grilled Hot Dog in “secret spices”, Bun, Mustard AND Ketchup (sick fucks), Cheese or Chili (option).

THE STORY CHICAGO: 

Chicago is blessed with a couple options. The city has a pretty famous hot dog of it’s own or could go the Italian Beef/Sausage and Gyro route, but let’s be real, The pie RUNS the second city.  Doesn’t matter whom you roll with: Uno’s, Gino’s, Lou Malnati’s or Giordano’s.  Each has it’s own unique flavor and combine to dominate the country’s pizza landscape.

FEATURES: Cornmeal crust, lots of tomato sauce, enough mozzarella to clog an artery.

THE VERDICT:  Had Nathan’s a few years back in Vegas…good, but nothing special.  Not good enough to knock off the Deep Dish anyway.  You can call me bias since I’m from Chicago and you’d be exactly correct.  

Corruption is a part of life here; it’s just how shit gets done son. Blagojevich bitch!  DEEP DISH MOVES ON!

2.) HOT PASTRAMI ON RYE (NEW YORK KNICKS) VS. 7.) LOBSTER ROLL (BOSTON CELTICS)

THE STORY NEW YORK:

Their Pizza blows compared to Chicago’s so go to Katz’s Deli on Ludlow Street in Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I’m pretty sure the pastrami on rye is what gave Meg Ryan had an orgasm over in that “When Harry Met Sally” flick.

FEATURES: Smoked Pastrami, Rye Bread, And Spicy Mustard.

THE STORY BOSTON:

Boston is yet another city with multiple options:  I could have gone New England Clam Chowder (Chow-dah), oysters or any combination of Seafood but I opted to shoot for the stars and heaven with the Lobster Roll from Neptune Oyster Company to rep Beantown because I ONENA STAWT TAHKIN LIIEKE DICE YA FACK! Whenever I eat one.

Features: Butter soaked lobster meat, steamed hot dog bun, lemon juice.

THE VERDICT: That Lobster Roll is packed with flavor but if you get a pastrami sandwich made right, that spicy mustard will set that bad boy off.  PASTRAMI ADVANCES

3.) SHRIMP COCKTAIL (INDIANA PACERS) VS. 6.) CHILI DOG/PEACH PIE (ATLANTA HAWKS)

THE STORY INDIANAPOLIS:

Indianapolis is a surprisingly charming town but it’s not really known for anything food wise.  Well except, the FLAME Shrimp drenched in spicy cocktail sauce found at St. Elmo Steakhouse.  It’s a favorite of Peyton Manning, All the Pacers (even Tyler Hansbrough’s remedial ass) as well various NFL Agents and Coaches who come into town for the NFL Combine every February.

Features: Five jumbo shrimp, spicy cocktail sauce, lemon wedge.

THE STORY ATLANTA:

A-Town is home to The Varsity; an iconic local chain that opened in 1928, and today it’s main branch holds the title of the largest drive-in fast food restaurant in the world. 

That means it kicks Sonic square in the jaw.  They also have a kick-ass Chili dog so good; I’ve been known to put aside my infamous hatred of chili to eat it.

The peach pies will also make you spit on its apple-counterpart from the Golden Arches.

THE VERDICT: If the most famous dish is an appetizer, you’re in trouble Indy.  CHILI DOG/PEACH PIE INTO THE NEXT ROUND!

  

So the match-ups for Next Thursday’s Eastern Conference Food Semis are all set:

We have a good old I-94 match-up on our hands as fourth-seeded Chicago Deep Dish faces its neighbor/enemy/biggest suburb to the North in underdog Milwaukee Cheese Balls.

Meanwhile, two-seed New York Hot Pastrami faces off against surprising sixth-seed Atlanta Chili dog-Peach Pie Combo.

Make sure you check back later this afternoon for the Western Conference first-round picks!

-WST

WEDNESDAY RANT-SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS AND SLURPEES: AN APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION!

Summer is around the corner and people have their summertime addictions… 

Some are all about the music scene.  Coachella, Bonnaroo, Glastonbury, Lollapalooza, OSHEAGA, Electric Daisy Carnival etc.

Some people will travel:  London, Paris, Toronto, Rio De Janeiro Tokyo, Spain, and The Caribbean.

A shitload of people will get married…

  Thank you lord all my college buddies have gotten that taken care of.  I think I used every vacation day in my arsenal traveling somewhere in support or to be apart of a friend's ceremony.

Some people may just be destined to spend every weekend from May to August on the beach, brunching, watching baseball games, or just chilling on a deck getting a tan (I think I’m good on the tan part though).

As for myself, next month, May 3^rd begins a time-honored tradition in my circle of friends.

It’s midnight Summer Blockbuster and 7-11 Slurpee season!!!!!!!!!!!

I take my movies very seriously, the interesting part of that is that I RARELY go out to see movies until the summertime. 

You know how many movies I’ve actually seen in a theatre since September?

Five: Skyfall, Django, Lincoln (fell asleep), G.I. Joe (still pissed about that one) and 42. 

Everything else: I either waited for DVD release, or “Mr. JR,” my neighborhood’s bootleg movie guy, provided it to me.  

Look down on me if you want, but why go out and spend $18 bucks to see a movie that may or may not be good when I can buy 3 for $5 or 5 for $10 (all great quality by the way) and watch it from the comforts of my own home?  Plus, I can buy or make my own snacks for a lot cheaper! 

I’m just being a smart consumer and in this day and age, any money saved counts!

Going out to see a movie and actually liking it is a risky business, but you feel better taking a chance with the summer blockbuster because it’s a summer blockbuster…

The fact that it has specifically been withheld until this time of year means there’s a higher percentage of it being awesome to the viewer.

 It doesn’t always work (see Transformers 2 and 3) but I feel better about taking the chance on a bad movie released in the summer then I would had it been released in the fall.  To be honest I get really angry (kind of like I am about fucking G.I. Joe).

So yeah we’ve established summer movies are the shit, who knew right?

Why midnight?  My friends and I morph into huge geeks/fan boys around this time of year and simply can’t wait, so we usually see them Thursday night at midnight and deal with working on a Friday on only a few hours of sleep. 

Plus I get to go on Social Media the next day and inform you all that I already saw the shit, so I’m better than you (kidding or am I?).

May looks exceptionally busy this year as each weekend has a big movie coming out: Iron Man 3, The Great Gatsby, Star Trek: Into Darkness, finally Fast and Furious 6 along with the Hangover III.  

The last two are tricky but we’ll probably wait until that Sunday to see Hangover III because... 

1.)   There really isn’t shit to watch on Sunday evenings in the summer.

2.)   You already know what you’re getting with The Hangover III

So what's up with the 7-11 Slurpee?

I’m just a big-ass kid and I LOVE THEM. 

There is no better feeling than spending a warm summer evening in a air-conditioned theatre with a reclined seat, your feet propped up on seat in front of you, and a Ice-cold Slurpee in your hand as Robert Downey Junior drinks and blows shit up on the big screen.

The feeling of euphoria I get when I drink a slupree in the summertime is hard to describe but I’ll try…

I feel like…well…I’m drinking a slurpee, only it’s being held by a hot chick in a bikini…. and I’m standing in the ocean…. and I’m wearing a pair of Ray-Bans…and for some reason Pitbull is playing…

Dale’

-WST

"THE GOOD OUTNUMBER YOU AND ALWAYS WILL"

(Times like these were what THIS was truly meant for)

Boston. Fucking horrible.

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."

But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem -- one human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in a while, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evildoers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."

-Patton Oswalt (Actor, Comedian, Writer)

WST 

TEN REASONS WHY I'M AWFUL AT WOMEN!

10. I’m too friendly!

            Hood face aside, I’ve think I have made it abundantly clear in the past that I enjoy meting new people and making new friends.  However, I need to do a better job of establishing if I’m actually interested in a girl or if I just enjoy linking up to party, hang out, etc.

I put MYSELF in the friedzone the same way Antonio Cromartie just has kids.  We do that shit JUST to do it despite what little sense it makes.

9. I wait!

            I’ve always been the type that just aims to have a good time when I go out, coupled with a “if it happens, it happens” mentality when it comes to females.

That’s bullshit though. I’ve realized I kind of use that as an excuse to not even bother getting on the offensive when I’m out and about. 

Seems I have this grand delusion that I’ll be out with my boys one night, and the perfect woman is just going to spot me and realize I’m awesome.

Yeah, ok…I’ll be waiting until I’m 45 thinking that way.

8. I’m clueless!

Everyone knows girls have signs that are utilized to make a guy aware that they’re interested.  Well if there are any of you out there that may have a thing for me, I should probably inform you…I WON’T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA! 

Seriously, outside of being painfully obvious or just kissing me, I won’t figure it out.  Doesn’t mean I’m not feeling you. 

I’m just bad at recognizing interest when it comes to me. It’s a flaw of mine…it happens.

7. I’m ugly!

            Just dicking around… I needed filler.  Have you seen my family?  We’re all good looking as fuck!

6. I STILL put my friends first!

Found myself in quite the dilemma a couple weeks back: Some girl who may or may not have been digging my style (told you I’m clueless) invited me to her birthday party.  However, it was my boy's  birthday as well and he was trying to pre-game at my place before heading out.

Chose to roll with my friend and attempted to organize a rendezvous with the girl’s party so everyone could win.  You know; my friends can meet your friends, we can all be friends, we can do this every weekend-type deal, but to no avail.  

Hit her up a few days later to see if I could make up for missing her event and maybe take her out for dinner sometime, not even an answer back. No text. No call. Nothing…

DAMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!  COLD AS ICE!  WALK IT OFF KID!

I did the right thing though.  This wasn’t about “man’s code” or some  “bros before hos” shit... 

This wasn’t some second-tier friend (don’t hate, you know you have some second-tier friends); this was one of my aces. If I had my OWN All-Pro team made up of friends, he’s a starter. I’m not going to put him on the backburner while I run off to chase someone I’m not even sure about.

Every man reaches the point where they finally date some girl who they like enough to put ahead of time spent with friends, I get that, I just haven’t dated her yet.

5. I have a weird sense of humor!

Here’s a text between my best friend’s wife and myself from yesterday:

HER: Hey!  I’m at the Target near your place.

ME: Well you better come by here and Tar-GET some of this loving!!!

HER: Oh I did, but you were still asleep!

Obviously, that’s tame, but some discussions we have would make a girl unfamiliar with my off-the-wall sense of humor do a double take. She understands that’s just me being a fool because she’s known me for nearly ten years and married to a man almost as weird and goofy as I am.

I feel like it takes every new woman in my life a few months to figure me out.  Only problem is most will abandon ship well before that.

4. I tend to over-think!

  I’ll always stress myself out thinking about the right moment to text or call a girl.

Then if I do get a date, I’m all like: what to wear? Where to take her? What is she thinking? Is there a part two to this date, where to go for part two? Should I go in for the kiss after I walk her to her door?  What’s she thinking now? Will there be a second date?

Best advice I’ve ever gotten when it comes to shit like this is just do, don’t think.  It’s hard though, I’m a Virgo; we think a lot.

3. I’m not a baller (yet)!

What’s in your wallet matters now more than ever. There used to be a time when our mothers and fathers were together based on long-term potential and they tried to make it together...

Today, we’re all about instant gratification…never mind that no one is really making money.  Sorry but I only know two people between the ages of 23 and 29 who make six-figures.

As for me, I do all right, and have the potential and drive to someday get to the top. It’s just about finding the person who wants to stand with me (not behind or in front) and take this journey to get it.

2. I’m chubby!

            Doug Heffernan. Phillip Banks.  Carl Winslow.  Those were some big men who managed to do pretty well in the wife department.  Unfortunately, they’re all fictional characters.

I need to be in better shape.  Not just for my health long-term, but it certainly doesn’t hurt as far members of the opposite sex go.   I’ve done all right losing some weight but I need to eat healthier and do more cardio work than lifting all-year round.

If I can stay focused enough and cut down, I’ll be putting a lot of these chumps masquerading as men out of the game.

1. I don’t really try

            As I inch closer to thirty, part of me actually WANTS to take weekend trips with someone special or send flowers just because it’s Tuesday.

I want that, and all the other shit my friend’s do for their girls. Not because they always like it, but because they’re with someone they care about.

I say that, but at the same time, I don’t make a great effort to find someone because the other part of me is still selfish…

I LIKE not answering to anyone.  I LIKE hanging with who I want, when I want, wherever I want.

I LIKE going out and staying out until I FEEL like going home…

 Not because someone is tired, or their feet hurt, or they’re just moody.

 I LIKE SLEEPING IN MY COMFY ASS BED ANY DAMN WAY I PLEASE!

Saturday night I slept on an angle with my right leg spread in front of the left and a pillow cradled under my arm like a football. 

Woke up looking like a cross between the Air Jordan logo and the Heisman trophy and it was GLORIOUS!  You can’t do that shit when you’re with someone!  My ass would have been sleeping on the couch…in my OWN place!

-WST

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY: NO SLEEP!

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULLCIRCLE

MONDAY

-Louisville may have beat Michigan for the National Title but Spike Albrecht had his one shining moment…

Spike was so geeked up; he was still trying to score off the court.

You see the power confidence brings?

Meanwhile....

Porn star, twitter model and all-around ho Jenna Shea put Louisville Guard Peyton Siva on blast for thanking his girlfriend after the game despite the fact Pey-Pey was apparently hitting her up for a little strange just day before.

           Peyton will get a shot in the pros so it's good he learned this lesson early.

- Also, Papa John got a little sauced and I ain’t talking butter garlic sauce.

Staight Faded.  That's the face of a man who gave out too many free pizzas.

TUESDAY

-This guy’s just fishing and chilling in Hawaii until…

Nope. Not fishing in Hawaii anything time soon.    

            -Mid-air with no one to pass to is usually not a good position for most Basketball Players.

 

Those rules do not apply for LeBron James.

WEDNESDAY

          

  -Wasn’t really the best day for the Chicago Cubs Organization as some fucking psycho attempted to deliver a Goat Head to team owner Tom Ricketts and no, it was not $2 gyro night.

For the uninitiated, the Cubs are allegedly hexed as the owner of the city’s iconic Billy Goat Tavern placed a curse on the team after he was refused entry with his goat to a World Series game in 1945.

-Later that evening, Cubs top prospect Jorge Soler attempted to rush the opposing dugout with a baseball bat following a bench-clearing brawl between the Single-A Daytona Cubs and the Clearwater Thrashers.

Soler was restrained by several coaches and teammates and tossed from the game.  Probably closest thing he got to a hit all day.

THURSDAY

-Game of the night honors goes to the Bulls-Knicks as Chicago came away with a 118-111 Overtime victory behind Nate Robinson’s 35 points off the bench. 

With that win the Bulls become the first team to end two separate streaks of 13 games or more this season.  ßIrrelevant stat.

            -Fight of the night honors go to the Padres and Dodgers as Carlos Quentin went into his trademark Hulk-like rage and rushed Dodgers Pitcher Zach Greinke.

Quentin would be tossed, but Greinke would end up leaving the game with a broken collarbone from the altercation. 

Matt Kemp gets the evening’s best actor award for his portrayal of a tough guy.

FRIDAY

            -Morgan Freeman and RG3?  Morgan Freeman and RG3!  You can just feel the love...

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE 42!

            -It will probably be full of historical inaccuracies but don’t we all need a “feel good” movie in our lives?  This one is worth a shot.

WATCH BULLS-HEAT!

            -Anytime these two get together, it’s a good game, so why not step out Sunday around noon to watch it and get a little hangover food in ya?

WATCH THE MASTERS!

            -But not until Sunday!  That’s when all the good shit happens!

Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods ya’ll!

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Justin Timberlake and Timbaland!  Why? Why not?  I’ve been crooning every song on the new album in the shower every morning for about two weeks now.

People aren’t ready for my high note.  Seriously, you’re really not.

Until the morning shine of Monday!

-WST

Five WTF Moments from Sports Movies!

5.  Ray Let’s Rev Get Hurt (Remember the Titans)

Really dude? I know you’re a racist but you have that much hate that you’ll let your starting QB get knocked out of the game?  Or maybe he just knew Ronnie Bass was the truth before everyone else?

4. Molitor throws bows (Above the Rim)

            You could get away with a lot more defensively during the 90's, but I’m pretty sure those are fouls good sir.

3.  Eye Damage (Any Given Sunday)

            ANYTHING will happen in a pileup. Should've worn a visor.  BONUS: Look at Terrell Owens at the end.  Acting like a good teammate and shit.  MUST be a movie.

2. Lattimer (The Program)

            Gotta lay off that juice dude. 

1. Billy Cole will not be denied (The Last Boy Scout)

            Before Billy Blanks introduced the wonders of Tae-Bo to the nation, he was introducing his pistol to defenders.

Ain’t life a bitch?

-WST