FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-I could  be a douche and make a lame SNL "More Cowbell!" joke...

But this motherfucker will probably be my boss in five years...and he DOES kill that shit.

-In this week's edition of the South is weird...

Why did a Athens, Georgia grocery store transform the Georgia Bulldog into a sombrero-wearing, pineapple-munching hellhound?

Ward off potential thieves or....

Did Goser develop a taste for the sweet, tangy, tropical fruit.

TUESDAY

-Delta Force, SEAL Team Six, Army Rangers, The Avengers, Rambo, The Expendables...

SOMEONE, ANYONE JUST PLEASE RESCUE KEVIN LOVE FROM MINNESOTA!!!! HE IS A BROKEN MAN DAMMIT!

Hold on hope Kevin, our government will not abandon you!

-The No Fun League decided to ban dunking on the goalpost following touchdowns and Saints Tight End Jimmy Graham wasn't too happy as he took to twitter to state his displeasure...

"I guess I'll have to lead the NFL in penalties next year!"

Jimbo, instead of worrying about having a flag thrown on you after a score, you should worry about just catching a pass against good teams...  

I saw the Seattle playoff game turkey and you were not a factor.

WEDNESDAY

-Florida and Florida State are rivals...

Both are really good at Baseball....

Heisman Winner Jameis Winston plays Baseball for FSU

Sometimes in Baseball, teams have bench-clearing brawls...

Florida and Florida State got into a bench-clearing brawl...

Jameis Winston took part in the brawl...

What happens when the media gets ahold of this news?

OMG JAMEIS WINSTON GOT INTO A BRAWL AND PUNCHED A FLORIDA PLAYER!!!! NOT COOL!  BLACK!  THUG!!!! BLAACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

At no point does Jameis Winston punch anyone...

And doesn't look like much happens period outside of a little shoving. 

I hate people.

-Get the fix-ennnnns ready....we've found him!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you never will.

THURSDAY
-Dayton does it again, upsetting Standford (and Cowbell kid) 82-72 to move on to the Elite Eight!

Unfortunately, they're playing Florida next so yeah...see ya!

But fuck all that shit right now....

Nick Cannon as his alter-ego: Connor Smallnut...

I have an interesting relationship with Nick Cannon.

I loved Wild n' Out in college.

I hate every movie he's put out.

I've had a crush on his crazy, but sexy-ass wife since Junior High.

I hate every album he's put out.

However, I gotta admit dressing in whiteface and calling his new album White People Party Music is an ingenious PR move.

So Nick, this one is for you...

Nick Cannon: 1

Haters: 0

-Miguel Cabrera?  $248 Million Dollars?!  At age 30?!!!!!!!

You know he's not getting any younger or thinner right?!

Either way, I can't hate on a dude getting his money.  Congrats Miggy and hook a brother up with a Frosty!  I know your ass hit up the Wendy's drive-thru to celebrate!

FRIDAY

-Mike Tyson highlights mixed to Barlog's sound effects from Street Fighter II!

This is everything!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH THE ELITE EIGHT!
If all your Final Four picks are still in it you now have my full permission to act like you  know more about College Basketball than everyone else.  

Who cares if your criteria was really based on jersey colors or where you got shitfaced that one time four years back.

SEE NOAH!
Russell Crowe is here to save mankind!  Wait, he's only going to save his family and two of every animal?  Oh shit...better get my umbrella and snorkel.

SEE THE RAID 2!

It's the sequel to the best movie you've never heard of!  Check out the first one tonight, then catch the second Sunday!  I mean it!

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Lakers gunner Nick "Swaggy P" Young!

Swaggy P had a rough week but he's keeping a positive attitude and I like that!

First, his home is robbed Sunday night during the Lakers game against the Magic.

100k worth of stuff gone.  Young's response?

"I was just shocked they tried to get Swaggy."

I don't know what that shit means, but it sounds good.

Then a couple days ago against the Knicks, Swags celebrates a tad bit prematurely on a three-point attempt...

So he missed, who cares? with Swaggy P it's not about if it goes in or not, it's about how pretty it looks in the air!

Keep doing you Nick Young!

Time to make like a chip and dip!  As always, thanks for your support! Life is like a hurricane...

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-TWO WORDS!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-Meet Virginia Basketball fan Danny...that's right he's a fan, not team manager or grad assistant.

Using just a suit and an orange tie, Danny managed to crash the Cavalier's bench and huddle during Sunday's ACC Championship game proving once again that all you need to get what you want is confidence (and balls of fine silver).

-Barys Astana (of Russian Hockey's KHL) forward Talgat Zhailauov took time to kick it with cheerful fans following his team's first-round playoff win.  However, he should know...

Allowing yourself to be tossed in the air by a group jubilant yet, faded Ruskis is never the best idea.  Zhailuov was taken to the hospital with a concussion.

TUESDAY

-Stephanie Faye Hamman of Tennessee (of course) was arrested after she smoked a bunch of weed, drove her car into a church and stabbed her husband in the chest with a knife when he came to help her because "the devil told her he was worshipping NASCAR."

I don't know about all that devil shit, but cutting a NASCAR fan is something most of us living above the Mason-Dixon line can only dream about.

-In what I imagine is just another step of a well-organized offensive against mankind, a swarm (or death squad) of Bees delayed a Yankees-Red Sox spring league game in Florida.

Wait, Yankees AND Red Sox?  Well go right ahead and maim them all! Do the rest of America a favor! No survivors! While they're at it, I'm sure they can find a Cardinals fan or two.

WEDNESDAY

-Check THIS Shit out...

Pretty good!  Still can't touch the greatest of all time though...

-Couple weeks back Suns swingman Gerald Green dropped 41 points in victory against Kevin Durant and the Thunder and barely got any shine for it.  Well Gerald your time has come...

Introducing...GERALD GREEN JAM!

Well done, but those ratings are a little suspect...maybe a little favoritism Suns?

THURSDAY
-March Madness begins and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...you had ONE job Ohio State...

But fuck all that shit right now...the HELL happened to everyone's favorite SEGA Dreamcast All-Star Steve Francis?!

That was "Stevie Franchise" in 2008...THIS is him two days ago with Seahawks Safety Kam Chancellor...

Let me just point out that Francis is only 37 years-old!

He's YOUNGER than Andre Miller and Steve Nash...

Who (or what) did this to you?!!!

Disease?

Crack?

Nino Brown?

Putin?

Cuttino Mobley?

Who?!!!!!!!

Seriously, guy looks like he survived being tossed around in space!

He looks like Shang Tsung took his soul!

Buddy looks he touched that ball from Space Jam and had all the life sucked out of him!

He looks like one of those Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark!

My guy looks like the prototype for Tokka and Rahzar from TMNT 2!

BTW, while I can appreciate the way Chancellor lays the wood on unsuspecting wideouts, the man is wrong for making that picture viral. 

 No way should he have posted that picture up knowing Steve's face looks like the inside of a catcher's mitt..

-I apologize for sounding like a senile grandparent but...

You know how hard it was to sneak around school and watch March Madness when I was a kid?!  

No smart phones, or internet or flat screens to just check that shit on the drop of a dime! 

You spent half your day wondering!  If you were lucky, MAYBE you could catch a teacher with a gambling problem and pray he was in a good enough mood to let you sneak a peak!

These kids these days...don't know how good they got it!

FRIDAY

-Dwight, Johnny Football, Arian Foster...

That's a lot of douche for one pic.  I'm shocked the camera managed to get it off.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

MORE MARCH MADNESS!
Let's face it: your body still hasn't fully recovered from last weekend.  You don't want to go out...

ENJOY THE COLD!
Just in case you haven't gotten enough of it this winter, there's only so much time left before it's all gone.  Maybe...possibly,..please?

EAT BRUNCH!
Nutella stuffed donut holes from Old Oak Tap!  So this is what heaven tastes like.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Reds closer Aroldis Chapman!

Earlier this week, the "Cuban Missle" took a 110 MPH liner to the face and suffered a broken bone above his left eye.

While he's very lucky, looks like the injury is nothing a titanium plate, a pretty nurse and oh...a few sympathy cases of beer can't fix as reports say he could be back to throwing in 10 days and and game-ready in 4-6 weeks.

Respect!

That's it for the kid!  As always, thanks for your support! Where the white women at?

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-LUCHINI!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-Former LaSalle University basketball standout Shanel Harrison is throwing one-hitters in Finland...

Fuck a Floyd Mayweather, if Rounda Rousey is still looking for someone to fight, I think Harrison should be able to oblige her.

-Little known fact:

The Headless Horseman was black....and had MAD ups son!

TUESDAY

-NFL FREE AGENCY!

Very early in the game but the week's winners are the Broncos and ruthless-ass John Elway who came straight out of the gate and signed three of the market's best defenders (Aqib Talib, TJ Ward, DeMarcus Ware) within 24 hours. 

Check this quote from Elway though:

"If you didn't want me to scoop them up, you should have treated them better!"

Jesus...is he running a pro football franchise or a stable of prostitutes outside a Waffle House?

Clearly an "all in" approach in Denver...

My money says they still get waxed if they make it back to the Super Bowl though!

-The Colorado Avalanche brought in that one dude from Imagine Dragons for an awful hype video full of lip-synching hockey players....

Before I saw them perform with Kendrick Lamar at the GRAMMYs, I thought Imagine Dragons was just a new Disney/Pixar movie.

WEDNESDAY

-Damn....

UEFA fined  FC Bayern was fined 50,000 pounds for that one.  That's alot for a pretty lame sign.

-Creighton scoring machine Doug McDermott is pretty dope but...

Seriously?  Stop that comparison right now before things get out of hand!

THURSDAY
-Chandler Parsons drops his version of the "people's elbow" on Mike Dunleavy!

But he comes back and drops 18 points (shame on you Houston) in the third quarter and finished with 21 points, seven rebounds and two assists  as the Bulls spank the Rockets 111-87

But fuck all that shit right now...

Selection Sunday is just over 48 hours away...

Yes, it's March Madness time again!

That means money pools, rocking college shirts to casual friday and wasting precious work hours trying to keep the boss from noticing that we're more concerned about this year's Florida Gulf Coast taking a huge shit on our brackets than those TPS reports.

Unfortunately, it's also that time a year where a special breed of vermin emerges from it's hell-hole....

The College Basketball purist!

CBPs ranks #2 behind entitled hockey pricks  in my delusional Sports Fan power rankings.

Hate em!  Can't stand em!  I'd love to put em all on a island and nuke it until that bitch glows like a new pair of Air Force 1s on a spring day.

For some reason (known to only them), these cretins believe that 18-20 year old children sloppily playing to a 54-51 final score is somehow a better game than the NBA.

Why?

Because of the pageantry, the passion, the emotion?  

The hell outta here.

Listen, I don't give a damn if you and your whole lame-ass family went to Syracuse or not, 

March Madness is only fun because CASH is on the line!

Try watching the tournament without four different brackets at $25 bucks a pop sometime...yeah, I knew you couldn't.

There are only two good reasons to watch regular season College Basketball; to watch the dudes who will bolt for the NBA at season's end and to have some sort of background knowledge for your picks.

But when it comes to being entertained? I'll take last Sunday's regular season Bulls-Heat game over the National Championship any day.

-You know how I know that new "Draft Day" movie isn't realistic?  Check out the flick's latest poster...

Pretty sure it's been a long time since anything like that came out of Browns front-office exec's mouth.

FRIDAY

-Who's ready for a Baron Davis comeback?!

DOMINANT FAT DUDES!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

NOTHING!

Unless you're busy being a grown-up with work or you know, a family, you pretty much have no excuse not to toss on some green and get ridiculous Saturday. 

By the way, you have my full permission to your spend Sunday on the couch with some mozzarella sticks, a gallon of water and a stack of movies.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Hal Douglas!

You'd never recognize his face but I have a feeling you'll recognize his voice...

Douglas passed away yesterday due to complications from pancreatic cancer.  He was 89.

R.I.P. Hal...movie trailers will never be the same.

Closing time!  Some motherfuckers....

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-BACK IN THE DAY!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-Jamal Crawford's memory is just better than yours...

Give the man a hand, he just passed his drug test.  Congrats Jamal!

-Bucks-Sixers...

The best sleep you'll ever get.

TUESDAY

-Not even legendary Street Fighter E. Honda can stop Dirk Nowitzki...

Hand down, man down.

-Speaking of the Knicks, Raymond Felton....

Fat, bad at basketball and trigger-happy is no way to go through life son.  You live in the same city where "Cheddar" Plaxico Burress got two years just for shooting HIMSELF.  You pointed a pistol at your girl (a hot, itellgent one at that), what do you think they're going to do to your chicken nugget-loving ass?

WEDNESDAY

-Everyone remembers Buzz's Girlfriend (woof!) from Home Alone...

Well meet her father, Astros Bullpen Coach Craig Bjornson...

Clearly he's not too happy with the idea of his little piglet dating one of those damn McCallister kids.

-Baseball's around the corner!  Here's A's outfielder Josh Reddick robbing the Orioles' Michael Morse of two jacks twice!

When reached for a comment, Reddick gave all credit to his new trainer...

THURSDAY
-Panthers left tackle Jordan Gross called it a career and gets a Barbershop Quartet sendoff by teammate Ryan Kalil.

Exhibit A that not all offensive lineman treat each other like shit.  Hi Dolphins organization!

But fuck all that shit right now...

-So Robin Thicke and Paula Patton called it quits because Thicke likes to sleep around but can you really blame him? 

 You see I'm not saying what he did was right but come on now... they gave it nine years and that's fairly long by celebrity standards.

Besides, those two are too good looking not to do the world a favor and have sex with other people.

I mean I really believe that he was trying his damnedest not to get frisky with other chicks but shit, the minute "Blurred Lines" dropped, you knew it was game over...

Minute that song hit the radio, fucker was in the club dodging pussy like Neo dodges bullets!

And fending off women like they were Japanese rabbits...

Wait, what the hell am I talking about?  He DID fuck up!  Paul Patton is so fine!  You know what?  I won't even begin to go into my level of thirst when it comes to that woman.

-Someone got himself a new toy...

Forget Space Jam 2, who's ready for the mask of LeZorro?

FRIDAY

-Utah Valley.  New Mexico State.  BASKETBRAWL!

Student section picked the wrong moment to rush the court man.  Green Man is lucky he didn't catch a two-piece.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH THE NHL STADIUM SERIES!

The NHL's outdoor party shifts to Chicago's Soldier Field as the Blackhawks take on the Penguins!

Should be cold as fuck and I plan on enjoying the game from a sandy Miami bar with a tequila in my hand as I've taken my talents to South Beach for the weekend.

I should kick my own ass for that last comment.

SEE SON OF GOD!
Lady-Killer Jesus?

Lady-Killer Jesus.

SEE NON STOP!
Liam Neeson is the white Denzel; older he gets, more people he kills.  By the way, they should have just called this movie Sky-Hard..

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Harold Ramis!

Stripes, Animal House, Analyze This, Analyze That, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters...

Touchstones of classic comedy.

Thank you and R.I.P.

It's all wrapped up like a mummy,  I met her on a monday and my heart stood still.

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-AIN'T GONNA HURT NOBODY!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-NBA All-Star weekend looked like a good time...

I gotta hand it to Pharrell for making the feel-good song of the year.  Play that track anytime you have a bad day and you'll suddenly feel like you got a promotion, found a $100 dollar bill and got laid all within four minutes.

-5'3, 130 pound running back Jen Walter became the first female at the position to play in a men's professional game as she tried out for the Texas Revolution indoor club.

She ended up with three goal line carries for -1 yard, or as I like to call them...Trent Richardson numbers.

TUESDAY

-Alright! College Jeopardy!

 Alright!  African-American History!

 Oh damn, well...this is awkward.

I'm sure they were just avoiding this category until the end because it's their favorite. That's totally it, right?  Right?!

-Ohhhhhhhhh!  Baby gets taken to school and then probably gets taken to pre-school!  Someone give that toddler's ankles a eulogy!!!! 

STILL better defense than anything you saw in the All-Star game.  In fact, I hear the Nets are ready to sign her to a four-year deal with the ability to opt-out after three.

WEDNESDAY

-Available now for your pledge dollars on Kickstarter.com....

Seems like a worthwhile project.  Check out the alternate cover...

-Carmelo Anthony...stay thirsty my friend.

Best Part?  Some guy broke this whole situation down and reacts as if he's stumbled onto something more than a just a NBA player checking out a cutie.

"He KNOWS shorty!"  I  love a good NBA groupie conspiracy theory.

THURSDAY

Shit....

USA women's hockey blows a late lead and falls to Canada in OT of the gold medal game, 3-2.

-KNOCK, KNOCK, WHO'S THERE, GOLD MEDAL IN THE FACE, THAT'S WHO'S THERE! 

Good fucking job USA.  That display of Canadian pride is all on you. You ladies jagged.

But fuck all that shit right now....

It's the NBA trade deadline and like every year, we are subjected to numerous "insider" reports and speculation of big-name players such as Melo or Rajon Rando's punk-ass being moved as the date inches nearer...

Let's run down a list of the day's big trades:

-Pacers ship Danny Granger (always injured) to the Sixers for Evan Turner (no one likes him).

-Nuggets send Andre Miller (old as the bible) to the Wizards for Jan Vesely (garbage, but has a tall, PDA-loving girlfriend)

-Clippers send Antwan Jamison (hasn't been good since '08) to the Hawks and Byron Mullins (lol) to the Sixers for a bag of basketballs and a case of blue Gatorade.

-Cavaliers acquire Spencer Hawes (nutcase Obama birther).

-Spurs send Nando de Colo (sounds like a delicious Italian cookie) to the Raptors for Austin Daye (on his fourth team in the last year).

-Warriors pack MarShon Brooks (could be good someday, but nobody feels like finding out) to the Lakers for Steve Blake (Alex Smith's sharpshooting clone).

-Rockets ship Aaron Brooks (they've traded him twice now) to the Nuggets for Jordan Hamilton (who).

-Oh and can't forget the Nets sending the body of Jason Terry (murdered by Lebron last season) and Reggie Evans (Kimbo Slice) to Sacramento for Marcus Thornton (likes to score, also likes to shoot when he shouldn't).

HOT-DAMN! THAT'S SOME IMPRESSIVE WHEELIN' AND DEALIN'!!!! GLAD I STAYED GLUED TO TWITTER ALL DAY TO CATCH THOSE HOT MOVES!!!!!

Kiss my ass Marc Stein!  Drink and drive Chris Broussard!  

Hit me up when you have some relevant Basketball transactions to offer!

-North Carolina beats Duke 74-66 in another edition of college basketball's most overrated rivalry...

Nothing screams, "we thought we were gonna get waxed!" like UNC students rushing the court.  Excuse me, but isn't this TOBACCO ROAD? Home of Jordan, Worthy, Stackhouse, Carter, not Morehead State!  Bad form, you wack-ass chumps.

FRIDAY

-The Tampa Bay Buccanners unveil their new logo, well not really...

Just a bigger, more pissed-off skull...basically Skeletor on a helmet.

   

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH USA-CANADA OLYMPIC HOCKEY!

See? Canadians are bat-shit crazy.  Let's go USA!

WATCH THE 2014 NFL COMBINE!

NFL prospects, agents, coaches, scouts, and front-office personnel descend on Indianapolis for the league's underwear olympics!  Four days full of 40 times, bench presses, back alley deals and Steak N' Shake!

SEE POMPEII!

I guess "Jon Snow vs. The Volcano" wasn't a good enough title.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to James Harden...oh...Hardens!

So many beards.  Looks like Black America finally found it's answer to Duck Dynasty!

Turn off the lights, light a candle!  I'm done. We could've had something special!

-WST