MONDAY
- POP OPEN A MOLSON CANADIAN AND LISTEN TO THE CFL VERSION OF THE RICHARD SHERMAN RANT!!! WOOOOOO!!!!
- POP OPEN A MOLSON CANADIAN AND LISTEN TO THE CFL VERSION OF THE RICHARD SHERMAN RANT!!! WOOOOOO!!!!
Wait...who the fuck is Solomon Elimimian? Playoff time? Is it? Does, the announcer even know? What's the deal with this league?
-Not that it was needed, but now even science has confirmed what we've always known...
That any team that labels it's fans the "best/smartest in baseball" is definitely worthy of your hatred. To hell with the Cardinals, roll with Orioles or Dodgers this October.
TUESDAY
-The Chiefs scraped the Patriots late Monday night 41-14. This Kansas City fan celebrated by faux face-fucking a Patriots fan who I can only assume he mistook for his cousin because Kansas City.
-The Chiefs scraped the Patriots late Monday night 41-14. This Kansas City fan celebrated by faux face-fucking a Patriots fan who I can only assume he mistook for his cousin because Kansas City.
Gotta love the U-S-A chant at the end, the official go-to chant when you don't know what to do next.
-Denver Nuggets mascot Rocky the Mountain Lion is in a little trouble after making an unsanctioned appearance at a Colorado GOP Rally hosted by Mitt Romney (that meeting had to be awkward).
Big-ups to the dumb ass intern who runs their Twitter account for snitching on Rocks...Good to see him alive and kicking...
I totally thought he was totally dead after that one time...
By the way, I was under the impression cougars were the only animals that show up at GOP Rallies. Must of thought it was an NBA owners meeting.
WEDNESDAY
-Big week for the city of fountains continues as the Royals and A's put on a Wild Card game for the ages ending with a 9-8 Kansas City win in 12 innings.
One question though?
What's my man in the million dollars seats doing sleeping?! Look the far right...
He must of thought he was at every other Royals game the last 29 years.
-In the latest edition of Floyd Mayweather is a cocksucker, Money Man Floyd got into (scripted?) argument with a woman in London who claimed she didn't know who he was.
The part that sucks the most about all of this? It's exactly what Floyd wants!
You'll pay to watch his next fight with hopes someone drops him on his ass, it won't happen, he'll collect a payday. In real life, the bad guys win.
THURSDAY
-Matthew McConaughey showed up in Austin to go full "Matthew McConaughey on the Texas Longhorns.
Insert your own "Dazed and Confused" punchline right here. Something along the lines of...
"His favorite thing about Austin? He gets older, the college girls stay the same age."
But fuck all that shit right now...
I knew Thursday night football was going to be bad going in, but holy shit, has it been historically bad!
let's go over how the slate of games has looked like so far this year...
Week 1: Seahawks-36
Packers-16
Week 2: Ravens-26
Steelers-6
Week 3: Falcons-56
Buccaneers-14
Week 4: Giants-45
D.C. Racist Name Team-14
Week 5: Packers-42
Vikings-10
That's a lot of bad bro. I mean could I just turn it off?
Sure.
Thing is, I have an NFL problem, if there's a game going on, I'm going to watch!
And apparently so are other folks...last night's Vikings-Packers matchup drew a higher rating than both MLB playoff games combined.
However, this experiment has gone on for too long, the fans sure as hell aren't being entertained outside of the pure struggle by some of these teams...
Did I mention CBS PAID $275 million for the right to broadcast eight of these games?!
Those motherfuckers want a rebate right now.
Then there's players like Vikings QB Teddy Bridgewater, who sat out last night with an ankle injury.
But no, they played on Thursday night and Bridgewater was replaced by this fucking guy...
Did you see Christian Ponder last night?!
That shit was something else, I haven't seen a pro QB play that bad that in a long time and it was all on National TV for everyone to see.
Right now Christian Ponder's mom is walking into a hair salon and there's someone asking about her kid being a human dumpster fire...
Guess what? She's gotta deny all existence of him.
She's out in her backyard right now...burning and burying pictures, family albums and shit.
I'm sure it's tough enough being an attractive female reporter in sports but Samantha Ponder-Steele probably walked into work at ESPN this morning and caught hell from everyone about her husband looking like the second coming of Henry Burris.
Fuck you Thursday Night Football, you did that. You ripped the Ponder family apart.
-#2 Oregon dropped a heart breaker to Arizona 31-24...
But at least their hair looked fresh.
FRIDAY
-Streaker invades Rugby pitch, incites brawl, runs away.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…
SEE GONE GIRL!
Ben Affleck's wife disappears. Did he murder her? Did she run away? Was she kidnapped or was she just in a long line for a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks?
SEE ANNABELLE!
Some doll is haunted or possessed or some shit and white people won't just get out of the house.
FOOTBALL IN THE PARK!
Tape up the hands, put on the cleats and go lay someone the hell out!
Just remember the ice packs, band-aids and Icy Hot for your old, washed up ass afterwards!
Ben Affleck's wife disappears. Did he murder her? Did she run away? Was she kidnapped or was she just in a long line for a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks?
SEE ANNABELLE!
Some doll is haunted or possessed or some shit and white people won't just get out of the house.
FOOTBALL IN THE PARK!
Tape up the hands, put on the cleats and go lay someone the hell out!
Just remember the ice packs, band-aids and Icy Hot for your old, washed up ass afterwards!
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout-out to coach Rich Rodriguez and the Arizona Wildcats on their upset of Oregon.
Nothing I enjoy more than chaos in college football!
Thanks for reading, it's good to be back! I don't care!
-WST
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