All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should.
Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
-New York Jets Buttfumble Part 2.
Like most sequels..not as good as the original.
-Do
you bleed Cubbie blue? Did you go
to the 2011 fan convention and sign a giant card with condolences and memories
meant for the family of late Hall of Famer Ron Santo? Well if you did, your shit got tossed in the trash
Monday…right in the open…for ESPN’s Jon Greenberg to see...
The Cubs have since fished it out and apologized. Personally, I don’t blame them for
dumping it out; it’s been two years and either Santos’ family didn’t want it or
the North Siders were just pandering to the fans to begin with.
Would it have killed them to cover it up though with a
couple industrial-sized garbage bags?
TUESDAY
-Pirates
win a playoff game for the first time in 21 years. Pirates fan (who probably showed up last week) takes a
dive from the Clemente Bridge into the Allegheny River.
YEAH, THAT”S RIGHT! STEEL CITY! YINZERS! BLACK AND
YELLOW! PRIMINATI BROTHERS SANDWICHES! MARIO LEMIEUX! SIX SUPERBOWLS! NO JOBS!!
-Opening
night of the NHL season and Canadiens Winger George Parros is already ALL
fucked up after falling right on his face while fighting Colton Orr of the
Maple Leafs.
Could be a huge wake-up call for the league officials to
finally ban ice from all games.
WEDNESDAY
-Damn. I thought Cutler got it bad here in Chicago. Everything is bigger and bat-shit
crazier in Texas dude. I will take
that special though please. Bleu
cheese, grilled onions, sautéed mushrooms, bacon, jalapenos, and hot
sauce. Beast.
-No
luck like dumb luck I tell ya.
Shout-out to Gehlen Catholic High School in LeMars, IA for
that one. Ice Cream capital of the
world finally makes it to FCF.
THURSDAY
-Browns
beat the Bills 37-24 in a surprisingly entertaining Thursday Night Football
game from two teams you wouldn’t expect.
Or maybe it was just good for me because with several key
fantasy players injured or on bye week, I had to throw in Willis “oh god, most
gruesome knee injury I’ve ever seen, stop replaying it” McGahee in my lineup
and pray for the best.
My guy
responded with 13 points. I’ll
fucking take that shit!
There are three unexpected things in life that can make even
the hardest man giggle like a little girl:
1. Out-kicking your coverage and landing a chick that’s
clearly out of your league.
2. Finding money.
3. Meaningful contributions from fantasy role players.
-Here’s
a video of Michael Jordan schooling a young O.J. Mayo in 2006 because Michael
Jordan likes to do that type of thing.
Seriously though, someone needs to find MJ a new hobby. I feel like he just lurks around the
Bobcats’ practice facility looking to hem up any player on the team’s
chump-filled roster who dares say yes to a “friendly" pick-up game. For shame on you Mike, for shame.
FRIDAY
-The hell is that?! See what I was saying about Texans being
out of their minds?
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re
not drunk or doing something better…
SEE GRAVITY!
-George Clooney and Sandra Bullock
play Astronauts who get stranded above Earth. Luckily, there’s tons of Space to stretch out and wait for help…if it ever
comes.
WATCH BASKETBALL!
-It’s
only preseason, but Derrick Rose (he of the “back before D-Rose” memes) makes
his return to the court in over a year as the Bulls take on the Pacers. Social Media onslaught to follow if he
plays well.
GO TO YOUR ALMA MATTER!
-It’s
Homecoming season for a lot of High Schools so go out and catch a game.
Just make sure you’re incognito…you don’t
want that one jerkoff from 7th period World History sitting next to
you and giving his irrelevant life story while asking for yours
through the whole game.
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout Out and RIP Tom Clancy!
You gave us Clear and Present Danger, The Sum of All Fears, Rainbow Six, and The Hunt For Read October. You almost owned
the Vikings. No sex boat parties
if YOU had been running the team.
Most importantly, you gave us that Patriot Games movie!
HARRISON FORD! SAM
JACKSON! SEAN BEAN!
Thank you for your support of the WST. There’s no school like the old school
and I’m the headmaster. Have a
safe weekend and we’re out!
-WST
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