FULL CIRCLE FIRDAY-DEJA VU!

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY

-The 15 minutes of fame for Linebacker Reggie Northrup (#5) begins as a result of his show out session following Florida State’s 51-14 over Clemson last Saturday...

 

THOSE WOULD BE REFERENCES TO THE CHAPPELLE SHOW’S ROBOT GUY DANCE AND THE MEEK MILLZ TRACK, “OHHHH KILL EM.”

Sorry…I gotta help out the readers who don’t have a clue what the hell Northrup is doing and why I find it funny…

I call them my family…along with at least 30% of my white friends…love you guys!

-Kansas City is the only undefeated team left in Football.  For reasons unknown to even me, I crap on the state of Missouri quite a lot. So I’d like to patch things up with the "Show-Me" State and propose a toast…but with what?

BTW, I don’t care if Mizzou is undefeated…you know they’re going to blow it.  Oh, and Tyler Hansbrough is from Missouri.  They just can’t catch a break can they?

TUESDAY

            -Look at Kyrie Irving…

 

Don’t laugh…quick bastard crossed you too while you were watching.  Only Five days left until the NBA season.

            -Holy Shit!

So you’re telling me Alabama, along with College Football Prince of Darkness Nick Saban, can afford flying rats with wings to spy on potential opponents but his players can’t get few dollars a month to buy a damn burrito after a game?  If you say so...

WEDNESDAY

            -Sportscasters in other countries are so chill…

Could you imagine that happening in the U.S.?  Joe Buck’s would have fainted, and Troy Aikman would have moseyed down from the booth to spit some game.

-Remember when I said Reggie Northrup had 15 minutes of fame as College Football’s “interesting thing” for the week?  Well make it five minutes...

Female readers, say hello to THIS pretty-boy Motherfucker:

That would be Notre Dame Junior Running Back Cam McDaniel, and yes ladies, he WILL take you to the farmers market on Saturdays…and NOT get too drunk at parties… and actually LISTEN to how your day went…and WILL try to get into Scandal for you…he’ll even take you to see WICKED.  He’s the perfect dude.

UNFORTUNATELY…he has a FIANCEE…and she won’t NAG his ass over little things…or get PARANOID about the way she looks…and she WON’T demean his interests…most importantly, she lets him watch the GAME and doesn’t play them.  She’s the perfect woman.

Guess the rest of us are just stuck with each other.

THURSDAY

            -So Drake had to cancel his concert scheduled for Saturday in Philly for... (insert shot at Drake’s manhood here) but not before running into Laura Roberts, the fiancée of Eagles Safety Kurt Coleman and her bachelorette party:

Damn, I’d say Drake looks about as happy as Riley Cooper at a Drake concert right there.

-Cam Newton threw for two TDs and rushed for another as the Panthers cruised over the Buccaneers 31-13.

Least you can say this about TNF: at least they're consistent...consistently bad, but consistent.  I mean this game was worse than Bitstrips bad.  And can someone please explain to me how the fuck that shit became cool?

SWEET MERCY!  IT’S THE COMIC-STRIP VERSION OF YOU DOING LAUNDRY AND RUNNING OUT OF DRYER SHEETS!!!!! YOU>GARFIELD!

WHOA!  NOW YOU’RE A ZOMBIE WHO DOESN’T FEEL NORMAL UNTIL YOU’VE HAD YOUR CHEERIOS!!! YOU'RE JUST KILLING CHARLIE BROWN’S SHIT NOW!!

I’d like to sit down with the people responsible for this trend and inquire to why they would do this to the world.  And then…

FRIDAY

            -RIP to William Harrison.  The Author and Screenwriter of Rollerball. 

There was also a remake in 2002 with LL Cool J and guy who played the sensitive jock-bro in American Pie, but don’t waste your time watching.  It's 98 minutes of kindle for a trashcan fire.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE THE COUNSELOR!

-Drugs, beautiful people, and Mexico.  I’m not talking your junior-year spring break trip to Cancun either.

SEE BAD GRANDPA!

            -Johnny Knoxville does what he’s always been good at; stupid random shit to unsuspecting random people.  Only this time there’s a little dude with him. 

                                                                                                                                                            Wait, Wee-Man was in the other movies right? 

Well then…just rent one of those, smoke a bowl, and save a few bucks

GET A HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

            -National females dress in lingerie & animal ears day is next Thursday.  That means people will be out and about two weekends in a row. Time to get creative (but cheap) for your costume fellas.

However, if you’re to old for that sort of thing, you should still come out and can always just tell everyone you’re dressed as a no-fun dick.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out to my Charlie Hunnam!

So I guess a lot of females were hating on your for being cast as Christian Grey in the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey flick.  So you dropped out,and now they hate on the guy they re-cast in your place?  Do these broads want this flick to get made? 

Ladies, quit crying, and let them cast a dude without problems.

Anyway, you’re good bloke Charlie, and may I add too much of a badass for that type of role anyway.  I’m not talking Sons of Anarchy either…takes a true tough guy to turn Elijah Wood from Charmin extra-soft ass to a G.

It's a wrap.  Thank you for supporting the WST.  I’m running into more and more of you who are feeling what I’m putting down here.  Popeyes biscuit gift baskets for you all once this takes off.

-WST

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-SIMON SAYS!

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY

-It’s been about 10 years since this…

-Depressing?  I know.  In fact, I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I brought it up.  Enjoy this badass Bear playing tetherball to make up for it.

TUESDAY

            -Here’s a Special Columbus Day message from LSU Coach Les Miles.

Motherfucker what?  The highest paid State Employee of Louisiana right there ladies and gents.

            -What happens when a Broadway Singer belts out the extended version of the National Anthem during a Minor League Baseball game?

Mass Confusion everywhere!  Didn’t know America had a remix did you?  Get an education.

WEDNESDAY

            -Cowboys cut Jay Ratliff.  Jay Ratliff collects $18 million dollars without playing a down this year because Jerry Jones is Jerry Jones. 

However, Ratliff is still only the second best player in the state of Texas when it comes to cashing out…

            -If Aliens ever roll up Independence Day style and start wrecking America’s shit….

 

Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD can St. Louis be the first city to go.  Please?

THURSDAY

            -Seahawks defeats the Cardinals 34-22. 

Can't lie, I actually missed most of this game because I spent my evening down the street at the Blackhawks-Blues game.  It was only the third Hockey game in my life and for some strange reason, shit always goes bad for me when I decide I’d like to watch some live puck…

-Got sauced and confronted some d-bag who wouldn’t leave a group of female friends alone at a minor-league game while in College.

-Two winters ago, I went to St. Louis for a Blues game and highlights included brushes with an angry father and an off-duty police cop.

-Yesterday, I caught shit from some redneck because I dared stood up to use the bathroom between whistles.  I was later informed that serious Hockey fans tend to get angry about that sort of thing. 

But you know what?  Fuck that. 

When I need to piss, I get up to take one. Sorry to block your vision for a whole two seconds.  Have an issue with it? You can always open your mouth and catch it.

He was even polite enough to inform me, “It’s not a Bulls game brother.”

Got that shit right…had it been a Bulls game, I’d be sitting on the floor pussy.

So yeah, maybe I’m just not meant to attend Hockey games or maybe most hardcore Hockey fans should just do the sporting world a favor and down a couple Draino Martinis. 

-Yao Ming…Mugsy Bogues…Shanghai…

            This Rush Hour 4 sequel is getting made with or WITHOUT Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  They better wise up and take the money.

FRIDAY

            -The Dark Gronk Rises…

Hit the music!!!!!!!

NOW SAVE MY FANTASY TEAM YOU BIG MUTANT POLLACK!!!  I STASHED YOU FOR WEEKS!  I NEED PRODUCTION NOW!!!!!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE 12 YEARS AS A SLAVE!

-It’s going to be up for an Oscar.  Just see it.

SEE CARRIE!

            -If you’re going to be a bully, the bitch from third period with telekinesis isn’t the best choice for a potential victim.

WATCH SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

            -If you’re not rooting for Peyton Manning this game, you have no soul.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out to Sweatpants!

SOOOOOOOOOOO COMFY!  Also perfect for lounging or running small fun errands like running down to 7-11 for a Snickers Ice Cream bar and a Taquito.

When it comes to sweatpants, you should always have no more than eight pairs and no less than three.  Colors must include Blue, Black and of course, classic Grey for sure.

I’m out.  I think I’ll order Chinese tonight and watch Bloodsport.  You forgot about that shit didn’t you?

-WST

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-WHEN'S THE LAST TIME?!

 

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY

-Streaker at the President’s cup? 

Fred Couples seems to approve.

            -The only thing Juan Uribe enjoys more than cheeseburgers is hitting monster jacks.

 

Live it up, Juan!  You earned that triple from In-N-Out.

TUESDAY

            -Nike has released their designs for this year’s Pro Bowl uniforms… 

I guess the NFL likes them even though they scream college football.  Oregon and Oregon State want their shit back.  They got a “Civil War” rivalry-game to play damn it.

            -The Olympic Torch relay has only been going for two days and the flame has already been extinguished four times… 

Look at that shit…like a bunch of dudes trying to light a Grill.  Any of you Russians got a light?  Maybe a couple pieces of newspaper?

WEDNESDAY

            -A lot of people despise White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson.  Personally, I love the guy because he’s a wonderfully old, senile, homer and it’s funny to me.

Make 2014 your last season Hawk.  Not just for all 200 White Sox fans out there, but more importantly, do it for you buddy.

            -I guess Derrick Rose likes Ducky Dynasty. 

My question: why the hell is his kid so ANGRY?  Probably pissed this party is interrupting his training.  He’s trying to be the best!

THURSDAY

-Bears beat the Giants 27-21 as Chicago’s defense ran into a more turnover-prone QB than their own.  Jay Cutler actually looked good with two TDs and no picks or fumbles.  Unfortunately, that means he’ll probably throw six and fumble twice next week.

As long as I’ve been a Bears fan, I can tell you the only two things that have been consistent on this team over the last 10 years is Defense and Special Teams and I’m still getting used to the idea of both being awful.

Watching Brandon Jacobs bitch Bears defenders all game made me consider going home and water boarding myself. I was already a ticking time bomb to begin with…

I decided to go out with some friends for the game and the bar ran out of Wings!

HOW DO YOU RUN OUT OF WINGS!  IT’S THURSDAY NIGHT!  THE CITY’S FAVORITE TEAM IS PLAYING!  WST WANT WINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

            -The Toronto Raptors Mascot The Raptor (they must have a top notch Marketing and Promotions department up north) has torn his Achilles and is out for the season.

He’s also their best player.  Why even bother to play games?

FRIDAY

            -Minnesota Lynx win their second NBA title in three years.  This is big news for the Twin Cities area.

They haven’t had a sports moment this exciting most exciting since the Twins ALMOST made it to the playoffs in Little Big League.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE MACHETE KILLS!

-Danny Trejo is badass and it features the bat-shit tag-team champs of the world in Mel Gibson and Carlos Estevez.

SEE CAPTAIN PHILLIPS!

            -Somali Pirates>Pirates of the Caribbean 4.  Forest Gump is about to save the day!

WATCH THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 4!

            -So many people make that “best show on TV” claim but only so many can back it up.  It’s go time.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out to Tegan Zimmerman!

Tegs is a friend and may be the only person I know who would actually enjoy a shout-out from this rag.

She’ll be running in the Bank of America Chicago Marathon and has met her donation goal for Team Bright Pink.  Everything she’s earned will be going towards breast cancer research and prevention.

Congrats Tegan, you’ve worked your ass for this and best of luck to anyone and everyone running the Marathon this weekend. Whether you’re doing it for a cause, or just yourself, I envy all you guys.

Thank you for your support of the WST. We made it.  Friday is here.  Have fun and be awesome.

-WST

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-ROCK THE MIC!

All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE

MONDAY

-New York Jets Buttfumble Part 2.

Like most sequels..not as good as the original.

            -Do you bleed Cubbie blue?  Did you go to the 2011 fan convention and sign a giant card with condolences and memories meant for the family of late Hall of Famer Ron Santo?   Well if you did, your shit got tossed in the trash Monday…right in the open…for ESPN’s Jon Greenberg to see...

The Cubs have since fished it out and apologized.  Personally, I don’t blame them for dumping it out; it’s been two years and either Santos’ family didn’t want it or the North Siders were just pandering to the fans to begin with.

Would it have killed them to cover it up though with a couple industrial-sized garbage bags?

TUESDAY

            -Pirates win a playoff game for the first time in 21 years.   Pirates fan (who probably showed up last week) takes a dive from the Clemente Bridge into the Allegheny River.

YEAH, THAT”S RIGHT! STEEL CITY! YINZERS! BLACK AND YELLOW!  PRIMINATI BROTHERS SANDWICHES!  MARIO LEMIEUX!  SIX SUPERBOWLS!  NO JOBS!!

            -Opening night of the NHL season and Canadiens Winger George Parros is already ALL fucked up after falling right on his face while fighting Colton Orr of the Maple Leafs.

Could be a huge wake-up call for the league officials to finally ban ice from all games.

WEDNESDAY

-Damn.  I thought Cutler got it bad here in Chicago.  Everything is bigger and bat-shit crazier in Texas dude.  I will take that special though please.  Bleu cheese, grilled onions, sautéed mushrooms, bacon, jalapenos, and hot sauce.  Beast.

            -No luck like dumb luck I tell ya.

Shout-out to Gehlen Catholic High School in LeMars, IA for that one.  Ice Cream capital of the world finally makes it to FCF.

THURSDAY

            -Browns beat the Bills 37-24 in a surprisingly entertaining Thursday Night Football game from two teams you wouldn’t expect.

Or maybe it was just good for me because with several key fantasy players injured or on bye week, I had to throw in Willis “oh god, most gruesome knee injury I’ve ever seen, stop replaying it” McGahee in my lineup and pray for the best.

 My guy responded with 13 points.  I’ll fucking take that shit! 

There are three unexpected things in life that can make even the hardest man giggle like a little girl:

1. Out-kicking your coverage and landing a chick that’s clearly out of your league.

2. Finding money.

3. Meaningful contributions from fantasy role players.

            -Here’s a video of Michael Jordan schooling a young O.J. Mayo in 2006 because Michael Jordan likes to do that type of thing.

Seriously though, someone needs to find MJ a new hobby.  I feel like he just lurks around the Bobcats’ practice facility looking to hem up any player on the team’s chump-filled roster who dares say yes to a “friendly" pick-up game.  For shame on you Mike, for shame.

FRIDAY

-The hell is that?!  See what I was saying about Texans being out of their minds?

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

SEE GRAVITY!

-George Clooney and Sandra Bullock play Astronauts who get stranded above Earth.  Luckily, there’s tons of Space to stretch out and wait for help…if it ever comes.

WATCH BASKETBALL!

            -It’s only preseason, but Derrick Rose (he of the “back before D-Rose” memes) makes his return to the court in over a year as the Bulls take on the Pacers.  Social Media onslaught to follow if he plays well.

GO TO YOUR ALMA MATTER!

            -It’s Homecoming season for a lot of High Schools so go out and catch a game. 

Just make sure you’re incognito…you don’t want that one jerkoff from 7^th period World History sitting next to you and giving his irrelevant life story while asking for yours through the whole game.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout Out and RIP Tom Clancy! 

You gave us Clear and Present Danger, The Sum of All Fears, Rainbow Six, and The Hunt For Read October.   You almost owned the Vikings.  No sex boat parties if YOU had been running the team.

Most importantly, you gave us that Patriot Games movie!  HARRISON FORD!  SAM JACKSON!  SEAN BEAN!

Thank you for your support of the WST.  There’s no school like the old school and I’m the headmaster.  Have a safe weekend and we’re out!

-WST