All the stories you know and ones you don’t, but should.
Welcome to FULL CIRCLE
MONDAY
-Guys, say hello “Sweet Pea.” She's the one in the blonde wig.
Sweet Pea is now famous because on Sunday night, while
partying with Bryant McKinnie (a guy you should NEVER hang with) and some of
the Baltimore Ravens, she decided to smash a bottle of Ace of Spades over Jacoby
Jones’ head and ignite a massive brawl.
Of course,
retired Ravens Linebacker Ray Lewis has come forth to say this incident would
have never happened if he were still on the team.
YEAH, BECAUSE NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS WHEN RAY LEWIS IS OUT
AND ABOUT!
-Auburn
Freshman Lacrosse player Zachary Burgess was a little tipsy following Saturday
night’s Auburn-LSU Football game in Baton Rogue, and decided to steal a nearby
pick-up…with a female still in the passenger seat.
Burgess didn’t get too far as he slammed into nine different
parked cars and when apprehended; told police that he “wanted to see what it
was really like to play the video game Grand Theft Auto.”
Zach Attack was charged with nine counts of hit and run,
theft of a motor vehicle and kidnapping.
Hope he’s ready to play real-life OZ.
TUESDAY
-Two
things that make me laugh; Fraternities and pre-game speeches. One thing I love; Any Given
Sunday. So what happens when
you combine the two?
Pacino would weep.
And I don’t mean tears of joy.
-Lions
Wide Receiver Nate Burleson suffered a broken forearm after crashing his SUV
early Tuesday morning. Burleson
states he became distracted while attempting to save two pizzas from falling
off the front seat. Interesting
story…do you believe him?
I know I fucking do! It’s almost happened to me! Food spilling all over the vehicle is
the WORST. Next time, put the shit
on the passenger floor Nathan.
WEDNESDAY
-The
Atlanta Braves really don’t like it when you pimp your Home
Run…
You know how you keep that from happening though? DON’T GIVE UP A HOME RUN!
-Vodka Sam Goudie painting for sale on EBay? I may have
to buy that sucker as a wedding gift for a friend. I’m too kind, I know.
THURSDAY
-The
49ers beat the Rams 33-11 and Colin Kaepernick quieted doubters and
haters who say he sucks ass. Well,
at least for a week anyway.
I think it’s fair to the say that the struggle is real for Thursday
Night Football. It’s like there’s
a rule that states all games must be ugly and uninteresting or they have to
involve teams that NO ONE likes.
Next week is Cleveland vs. Buffalo! I don’t want to watch that shit. Do you want to watch that shit? Of course you don’t. But you will, and so will I. Go to hell NFL, I love-hate
you.
Bad Football is like bad sex; when there’s nothing better,
you’ll take it.
-Last
night was Rockies First Baseman Todd Helton’s final game at Coors Field and he
was gifted a horse.
Why Todd Helton needs a horse is beyond me but the horse’s
name is A Tru Bustamove...
Why do I feel like they just ripped that name from some C-Grade
rapper reppin a rust-belt city like Ft. Wayne?
FRIDAY
-That's a beaut. Someone get that man a Foster's
WEEKEND WATCH!
What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re
not drunk or doing something better…
SEE DON JON!
-Joseph Gordon Leavitt makes his
directorial debut and also stars in this flick about a Jersey player who can
get any girl he wants but still maintains an addiction to porn. I don’t know what the hell to make out
of this one but it’s either this or Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
GO APPLE PICKING!
-That’s
right, I said it! Gotta do something to keep the woman in your life happy. Just make sure
your girl looks good for it and it’s not on Sunday between noon and three...
WATCH EASTBOUND & DOWN!
-Kenny
Powers is back for one final season!
FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!
Recognizing whomever the hell I want!
Shout Out to Mariano Rivera!
Exit Sandman.
Thank you for your support of the WST. Another weekend. Another 48 hours of power &
freedom. Live it up.
-WST
