FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-I could  be a douche and make a lame SNL "More Cowbell!" joke...

But this motherfucker will probably be my boss in five years...and he DOES kill that shit.

-In this week's edition of the South is weird...

Why did a Athens, Georgia grocery store transform the Georgia Bulldog into a sombrero-wearing, pineapple-munching hellhound?

Ward off potential thieves or....

Did Goser develop a taste for the sweet, tangy, tropical fruit.

TUESDAY

-Delta Force, SEAL Team Six, Army Rangers, The Avengers, Rambo, The Expendables...

SOMEONE, ANYONE JUST PLEASE RESCUE KEVIN LOVE FROM MINNESOTA!!!! HE IS A BROKEN MAN DAMMIT!

Hold on hope Kevin, our government will not abandon you!

-The No Fun League decided to ban dunking on the goalpost following touchdowns and Saints Tight End Jimmy Graham wasn't too happy as he took to twitter to state his displeasure...

"I guess I'll have to lead the NFL in penalties next year!"

Jimbo, instead of worrying about having a flag thrown on you after a score, you should worry about just catching a pass against good teams...  

I saw the Seattle playoff game turkey and you were not a factor.

WEDNESDAY

-Florida and Florida State are rivals...

Both are really good at Baseball....

Heisman Winner Jameis Winston plays Baseball for FSU

Sometimes in Baseball, teams have bench-clearing brawls...

Florida and Florida State got into a bench-clearing brawl...

Jameis Winston took part in the brawl...

What happens when the media gets ahold of this news?

OMG JAMEIS WINSTON GOT INTO A BRAWL AND PUNCHED A FLORIDA PLAYER!!!! NOT COOL!  BLACK!  THUG!!!! BLAACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

At no point does Jameis Winston punch anyone...

And doesn't look like much happens period outside of a little shoving. 

I hate people.

-Get the fix-ennnnns ready....we've found him!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you never will.

THURSDAY
-Dayton does it again, upsetting Standford (and Cowbell kid) 82-72 to move on to the Elite Eight!

Unfortunately, they're playing Florida next so yeah...see ya!

But fuck all that shit right now....

Nick Cannon as his alter-ego: Connor Smallnut...

I have an interesting relationship with Nick Cannon.

I loved Wild n' Out in college.

I hate every movie he's put out.

I've had a crush on his crazy, but sexy-ass wife since Junior High.

I hate every album he's put out.

However, I gotta admit dressing in whiteface and calling his new album White People Party Music is an ingenious PR move.

So Nick, this one is for you...

Nick Cannon: 1

Haters: 0

-Miguel Cabrera?  $248 Million Dollars?!  At age 30?!!!!!!!

You know he's not getting any younger or thinner right?!

Either way, I can't hate on a dude getting his money.  Congrats Miggy and hook a brother up with a Frosty!  I know your ass hit up the Wendy's drive-thru to celebrate!

FRIDAY

-Mike Tyson highlights mixed to Barlog's sound effects from Street Fighter II!

This is everything!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH THE ELITE EIGHT!
If all your Final Four picks are still in it you now have my full permission to act like you  know more about College Basketball than everyone else.  

Who cares if your criteria was really based on jersey colors or where you got shitfaced that one time four years back.

SEE NOAH!
Russell Crowe is here to save mankind!  Wait, he's only going to save his family and two of every animal?  Oh shit...better get my umbrella and snorkel.

SEE THE RAID 2!

It's the sequel to the best movie you've never heard of!  Check out the first one tonight, then catch the second Sunday!  I mean it!

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Lakers gunner Nick "Swaggy P" Young!

Swaggy P had a rough week but he's keeping a positive attitude and I like that!

First, his home is robbed Sunday night during the Lakers game against the Magic.

100k worth of stuff gone.  Young's response?

"I was just shocked they tried to get Swaggy."

I don't know what that shit means, but it sounds good.

Then a couple days ago against the Knicks, Swags celebrates a tad bit prematurely on a three-point attempt...

So he missed, who cares? with Swaggy P it's not about if it goes in or not, it's about how pretty it looks in the air!

Keep doing you Nick Young!

Time to make like a chip and dip!  As always, thanks for your support! Life is like a hurricane...

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-TWO WORDS!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-Meet Virginia Basketball fan Danny...that's right he's a fan, not team manager or grad assistant.

Using just a suit and an orange tie, Danny managed to crash the Cavalier's bench and huddle during Sunday's ACC Championship game proving once again that all you need to get what you want is confidence (and balls of fine silver).

-Barys Astana (of Russian Hockey's KHL) forward Talgat Zhailauov took time to kick it with cheerful fans following his team's first-round playoff win.  However, he should know...

Allowing yourself to be tossed in the air by a group jubilant yet, faded Ruskis is never the best idea.  Zhailuov was taken to the hospital with a concussion.

TUESDAY

-Stephanie Faye Hamman of Tennessee (of course) was arrested after she smoked a bunch of weed, drove her car into a church and stabbed her husband in the chest with a knife when he came to help her because "the devil told her he was worshipping NASCAR."

I don't know about all that devil shit, but cutting a NASCAR fan is something most of us living above the Mason-Dixon line can only dream about.

-In what I imagine is just another step of a well-organized offensive against mankind, a swarm (or death squad) of Bees delayed a Yankees-Red Sox spring league game in Florida.

Wait, Yankees AND Red Sox?  Well go right ahead and maim them all! Do the rest of America a favor! No survivors! While they're at it, I'm sure they can find a Cardinals fan or two.

WEDNESDAY

-Check THIS Shit out...

Pretty good!  Still can't touch the greatest of all time though...

-Couple weeks back Suns swingman Gerald Green dropped 41 points in victory against Kevin Durant and the Thunder and barely got any shine for it.  Well Gerald your time has come...

Introducing...GERALD GREEN JAM!

Well done, but those ratings are a little suspect...maybe a little favoritism Suns?

THURSDAY
-March Madness begins and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...you had ONE job Ohio State...

But fuck all that shit right now...the HELL happened to everyone's favorite SEGA Dreamcast All-Star Steve Francis?!

That was "Stevie Franchise" in 2008...THIS is him two days ago with Seahawks Safety Kam Chancellor...

Let me just point out that Francis is only 37 years-old!

He's YOUNGER than Andre Miller and Steve Nash...

Who (or what) did this to you?!!!

Disease?

Crack?

Nino Brown?

Putin?

Cuttino Mobley?

Who?!!!!!!!

Seriously, guy looks like he survived being tossed around in space!

He looks like Shang Tsung took his soul!

Buddy looks he touched that ball from Space Jam and had all the life sucked out of him!

He looks like one of those Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark!

My guy looks like the prototype for Tokka and Rahzar from TMNT 2!

BTW, while I can appreciate the way Chancellor lays the wood on unsuspecting wideouts, the man is wrong for making that picture viral. 

 No way should he have posted that picture up knowing Steve's face looks like the inside of a catcher's mitt..

-I apologize for sounding like a senile grandparent but...

You know how hard it was to sneak around school and watch March Madness when I was a kid?!  

No smart phones, or internet or flat screens to just check that shit on the drop of a dime! 

You spent half your day wondering!  If you were lucky, MAYBE you could catch a teacher with a gambling problem and pray he was in a good enough mood to let you sneak a peak!

These kids these days...don't know how good they got it!

FRIDAY

-Dwight, Johnny Football, Arian Foster...

That's a lot of douche for one pic.  I'm shocked the camera managed to get it off.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

MORE MARCH MADNESS!
Let's face it: your body still hasn't fully recovered from last weekend.  You don't want to go out...

ENJOY THE COLD!
Just in case you haven't gotten enough of it this winter, there's only so much time left before it's all gone.  Maybe...possibly,..please?

EAT BRUNCH!
Nutella stuffed donut holes from Old Oak Tap!  So this is what heaven tastes like.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Reds closer Aroldis Chapman!

Earlier this week, the "Cuban Missle" took a 110 MPH liner to the face and suffered a broken bone above his left eye.

While he's very lucky, looks like the injury is nothing a titanium plate, a pretty nurse and oh...a few sympathy cases of beer can't fix as reports say he could be back to throwing in 10 days and and game-ready in 4-6 weeks.

Respect!

That's it for the kid!  As always, thanks for your support! Where the white women at?

-WST'

FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-LUCHINI!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY

MONDAY

-Former LaSalle University basketball standout Shanel Harrison is throwing one-hitters in Finland...

Fuck a Floyd Mayweather, if Rounda Rousey is still looking for someone to fight, I think Harrison should be able to oblige her.

-Little known fact:

The Headless Horseman was black....and had MAD ups son!

TUESDAY

-NFL FREE AGENCY!

Very early in the game but the week's winners are the Broncos and ruthless-ass John Elway who came straight out of the gate and signed three of the market's best defenders (Aqib Talib, TJ Ward, DeMarcus Ware) within 24 hours. 

Check this quote from Elway though:

"If you didn't want me to scoop them up, you should have treated them better!"

Jesus...is he running a pro football franchise or a stable of prostitutes outside a Waffle House?

Clearly an "all in" approach in Denver...

My money says they still get waxed if they make it back to the Super Bowl though!

-The Colorado Avalanche brought in that one dude from Imagine Dragons for an awful hype video full of lip-synching hockey players....

Before I saw them perform with Kendrick Lamar at the GRAMMYs, I thought Imagine Dragons was just a new Disney/Pixar movie.

WEDNESDAY

-Damn....

UEFA fined  FC Bayern was fined 50,000 pounds for that one.  That's alot for a pretty lame sign.

-Creighton scoring machine Doug McDermott is pretty dope but...

Seriously?  Stop that comparison right now before things get out of hand!

THURSDAY
-Chandler Parsons drops his version of the "people's elbow" on Mike Dunleavy!

But he comes back and drops 18 points (shame on you Houston) in the third quarter and finished with 21 points, seven rebounds and two assists  as the Bulls spank the Rockets 111-87

But fuck all that shit right now...

Selection Sunday is just over 48 hours away...

Yes, it's March Madness time again!

That means money pools, rocking college shirts to casual friday and wasting precious work hours trying to keep the boss from noticing that we're more concerned about this year's Florida Gulf Coast taking a huge shit on our brackets than those TPS reports.

Unfortunately, it's also that time a year where a special breed of vermin emerges from it's hell-hole....

The College Basketball purist!

CBPs ranks #2 behind entitled hockey pricks  in my delusional Sports Fan power rankings.

Hate em!  Can't stand em!  I'd love to put em all on a island and nuke it until that bitch glows like a new pair of Air Force 1s on a spring day.

For some reason (known to only them), these cretins believe that 18-20 year old children sloppily playing to a 54-51 final score is somehow a better game than the NBA.

Why?

Because of the pageantry, the passion, the emotion?  

The hell outta here.

Listen, I don't give a damn if you and your whole lame-ass family went to Syracuse or not, 

March Madness is only fun because CASH is on the line!

Try watching the tournament without four different brackets at $25 bucks a pop sometime...yeah, I knew you couldn't.

There are only two good reasons to watch regular season College Basketball; to watch the dudes who will bolt for the NBA at season's end and to have some sort of background knowledge for your picks.

But when it comes to being entertained? I'll take last Sunday's regular season Bulls-Heat game over the National Championship any day.

-You know how I know that new "Draft Day" movie isn't realistic?  Check out the flick's latest poster...

Pretty sure it's been a long time since anything like that came out of Browns front-office exec's mouth.

FRIDAY

-Who's ready for a Baron Davis comeback?!

DOMINANT FAT DUDES!

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

NOTHING!

Unless you're busy being a grown-up with work or you know, a family, you pretty much have no excuse not to toss on some green and get ridiculous Saturday. 

By the way, you have my full permission to your spend Sunday on the couch with some mozzarella sticks, a gallon of water and a stack of movies.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

Shout-out to Hal Douglas!

You'd never recognize his face but I have a feeling you'll recognize his voice...

Douglas passed away yesterday due to complications from pancreatic cancer.  He was 89.

R.I.P. Hal...movie trailers will never be the same.

Closing time!  Some motherfuckers....

-WST'