FULL CIRCLE FRIDAY-FIGHT MUSIC!

All the stories you know, and ones you don’t, but should. Welcome to FULL CIRCLE THURSDAY.

MONDAY
- Pistol Pete, New Mexico State's Mascot, riding a horse, knocked the shit out of some chick.

In related news, Tony Stewart's new side job has started off rockier than expected.  Guy just can't catch a break.

-The Kansas City Chiefs gave Quarterback Alex Smith a $68 Million dollar contract with $45 Million in guaranteed money.

Because in the NFL, that's the going rate for a staring QB the equivalent to a basic bitch.

TUESDAY
-The New Zealand national team unleashed  the "shock and awe" game plan on the United States in the group stage of the FIBA Basketball World Cup by performing their nation's traditional haka dance.

I guess they got the shock down (for the record, Derrick Rose ALWAYS looks like that) but not much effect otherwise as they were brushed aside by Team USA, 98-71.

-Cleveland Browns rookie Linebacker Christian Kirksey is listed at 6-foot-2 inches. In the latest glitch in the system to Madden 15, he's been shrunk down to just 14 inches.

AND on the Tennessee Titans.    The shrimp has heart though!  Fuck Rudy, fun-sized Christian Kirksey has the determination we all need in life.

WEDNESDAY

-Ummmmmmmmm...no he wasn't.  However, still waiting for confirmation that he was arrested and detained for the entirety of last season's playoffs.

-Don't laugh...this Dodgers fan is living life better than you.

Look at him (or at least try).  He's got his beers, he's got his hot dog, he's soaking up the sun...I mean what more can you ask for?  Gotta enjoy the little things.

THURSDAY

-Joan Rivers passes away, some guy does the "Money Manziel" in the background...

Joan loved money!  Such a touching tribute.  She would have appreciated it.

But fuck all that shit right now...

Last night, I watched the reigning World Champion Seattle Seahawks...the baddest defense in the land...run onto the field to "Bittersweet Symphony" and "Won't get fooled Again." 

This is unacceptable. I got nothing against The Verve or The Who but that doesn't get you charged up.  You can't run onto the field to that!

I know the NFL, like the NBA, doesn't want to perpetuate the "thug stereotype" held by uptight old-people, media pundits, and closet-racists regarding their product, but the days of running out to Van Halen or Ozzy Osbourne are played out. 

NFL teams are units of tough-ass, swagged-out, grown men and it's time the No Fun League let these cats boogie when they run out of that tunnel.

I've done extensive research to compile five tracks that should now be considered when introducing teams.

5. LIL JON & THE EAST SIDE BOYZ-THROW IT UP

WHY?  NFL players come from all walks of life.   Lil Jon gives a S/O to so many cities, towns and municipalities in the first minute, a guy should be able to adequately find and identity his hometown while also recognizing the current fan base.  BTW, good football teams are built on depth,  the "We too deep in this bitch" line pays reference to that.

4. METALLICA-ENTER THE SANDMAN

WHY?  Look at how turnt Virginia Tech is.  You're telling me players and fans in Seattle or Philly or Chicago won't go ape shit over that?  You'll spear your grandfather on a Thanksgiving day game if you play that beforehand.

3. 8BALL & MJG-STRAIGHT CADILLAC PIMPIN

WHY? Fact: The NFL is played on Sunday.  Fact: The league has teams in Carolina, Houston, Atlanta, Tennessee, New Orleans and Jacksonville.  Take 'em all to church!!!!!

2. DMX-X GON GIVE IT TO YA

WHY?  Football game...liquor store robbery...bake sale....you can't have organized chaos without DMX.

1.WIZ KHALIFA-WE DEM BOYZ

It's 2014! This is it!  This is what the Seahawks SHOULD have came out to last night! This track is 3:59 and entrance be damned, it should be played in it's entirety!  Let the players dance the whole way around the field.  Can't you see it? 

Beast Mode and Sherman would be killing it.

Russ Wilson would be nodding his head and playing it cool.  Which IS cool because he's football Jeter.

The lineman would be yucking it up, doing fat guy dances. 

They could even show shots of owner Paul Allen in the luxury boxes counting money and bopping'....MAKE IT HAPPEN GINGER GOODELL!

-Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets" NFL Edition!

-They're not all mean.  I mean you could question the validity to that one about Clay Matthews but then again...

FRIDAY

-A Florida fisherman caught a horrifying mutant jumbo shrimp.

Part of me is ready to hide underneath my desk in fear, the other half wants to meet this guy up with some breading, a deep fryer and a gallon or two of cocktail and tartar sauce.

WEEKEND WATCH!

What you should be doing this weekend if you know, you’re not drunk or doing something better…

WATCH BOARDWALK EMPIRE
All good things must come to an end.  I just don't know why HBO's bloody prohibition saga just has to be one of them.  Final Season begins Sunday!

GO TO STARBUCKS AND DUNKIN DONUTS!
It's fall, which means it'll be cold soon, which means all good treats are back to warm (and fatten) you up.  You'll need the extra layers anyway.  I hear the winter is set for bitch-mode again.

WATCH THE NFL!
It's HERE!  I feel like Carlton in that episode of the Fresh Prince where Will gave him his Chicktionary.

FRIDAY SHOUT-OUT!

Recognizing whomever the hell I want!

S/O  to Georgia Running Back Todd Gurley!

I like to shit on College Football but I'll say this;

The NFL has the overall better quality of football but College is more fun because of guys that can just flat-out take over a game like Gurley.

Kneel at his cleats or be trampled by them.

Thanks for read, see you next week!  I thought everyone loved you?

-WST